When friends move away

No because unusually, we don't really have friends (from choice). Friends have never been important to us.
I would hate to move away from family though.

I mean I wouldn't stay put for friends.

We’ve had to move with work, mine or DH. It’s true that some friends keep in touch more regularly than others, but I didn’t have an option to stay. Some family are close, others distant and others across the world. That upsets me more.

Judy54 with so little family within miles from me, I treat good friends like family… but those that have moved on some to different countries I miss as them but no I wouldn’t expect friends to stay put..

Interesting post Judy54 , we’re not at that stage yet . Most of our friends are still working and those who are retired have family in the area . My dh and I will downsize at some point but my dm is local, so we can’t move as my siblings aren’t local . Tbh our area ticks all the boxes. We have lovely dog walking areas 5 minutes walk from home . Our doctors , pharmacy, vet , shops , and a station are also 5 minutes walk and a large market town is a 10 minute drive . We’re an hour from london on the train and our AC live and work in London . We also have lovely neighbours and friends in the area.
We have thought about moving away but the grass isn’t always greener and we know people who have moved and have struggled to settle in .
As for the friends left , I’m sure they don’t resent you moving away . It’s just a big change to their social life and most people struggle with change .

We made the decision to move away from where we had spent most of our adut lives. We were actually moving back to the area we grew up in, back to family (and fairly central to our grown up kids).
We spoke to close friends about it, and they understood. There were 2 families I was sorry to leave, but now one has moved anyway, to provide childcare.
I am aware that in some areas that are becoming run-down (this has happened to a place I know well) that some 'left-behinds' feel rather abandoned to an area that doesn't provide the lively social contact it used to.
I wonder whether you / they had different expectations of friendship? This happened to one couple we were close to. Their neighbours were so angry that they were moving that they (the neighbours) have completely severed the friendship!
In the end, only you know who you have social obligations to. There are many posts here about the obligations we have to family - but mostly, in mainstream UK culture, we don't feel the same about friendship in normal circumstances.
So I think you just have to write it down to experience, and decide how much you want to be in contact with the friends. If you have a good time together and enjoy each other's company, then carry on, as and when you can. If they moan and make you feel bad, then they will lose you completely. Not your problem, really, even if you feel sad about it.

Oh and I wouldn’t stay put due to friends . You never know what’s around the corner. Your friends may become ill or widowed and move away to be near family

Through luck, not judgement, all three of my children live within a 10/15 minute drive from my house. We don’t live n each other’s pockets, far from it, but they are there in an emergency.

I'm lucky- I moved away and have now moved back! I don't really see my friends too often but we meet up a few times a year.
I haven't made any new friends since I came back though- just in touch with old ones and with family.
I would never move away again- good friends are like treasure and why would you leave that behind?
Maybe I'm not normal because I put people before places?

I too put people before places but family not friends.

I live ten mins away from where I grew up with six siblings. I don't have relationships with four of them I see two of them now and again they don't live near us.
Our good friends live near us we have been friends since we were all young. We socialise with them all on different occasions but we don't live in each others pockets.
We are very contented here so not interested in moving.

Interesting.
We would be the ones to move. If it came to it.
I would hope our friends would understand the circumstances. I think they would.

I think this will become a more normal occurence in future. Children move away now, more than they used to. So more likely their parents will end up moving too. Eventually.? I would have thought.

Several of our friends have moved away for various reasons, I don’t resent that and wish them well, we keep in touch by phone, WhatsApp or zoom. We have visited each other.
Now it’s our turn to move away as we’re downsizing and have chosen a part of the country equidistant to all of our U.K. family.
I hope none of our friends will resent our choice, fingers crossed for a quick sale.

We moved away from our home of 30 years to a new location. At first it was great as we made so many new friends that we had quiz nights with and celebrated with but sadly so many have now died . The ones we felt closest to I miss so much . We were among the youger ones in our group and it is so different now . I often wish we had never moved .

I have stayed in the small town I have lived in all my life . My siblings have moved away and so has DD coincidentally all to the same county about 20 miles apart. My DS and family have stayed , they love living here ad I do and will not be moving. Some friends have moved away and we keep in touch but sadly more have died 😟

What's the saying?

"Relatives you've got whether you like them or not, friends they come and go".

We've moved with work but not for years now, still try to keep up with some friends from where we used to live or who have moved from here.
We've made new friends too from joining groups.
If you're good friends you stay in touch but some people never move from a few streets from where they were born.

Some friends have moved away and we keep in touch but sadly more have died 😟
That's what has happened to so many of our SusieB 😥

I wouldn't be put off moving away - as I only have a couple of friends. My neighbours, fellow dog walkers and local contacts aren't real friends - they're acquaintances.

I'm puzzled when people mention 'groups of friends' as I'd count them as acquaintances too. Most people I've met at work, through study or hobbies, soon drift away when the connection is broken. There are always ways to meet new people.

I'm puzzled when people mention 'groups of friends' as I'd count them as acquaintances too

Some people stay firm friends throughout life.
Sometimes friends can be as close as some relatives.

We wouldn’t move because we want to be near family. We have friends who retired and moved away. We are in touch with both couples but the ties with one couple in particular are weakening.

Callistemon21, my two friends are, indeed, as close as family. Still, I'm puzzled by 'groups of friends' as I couldn't be that close to so many people.

We moved away from good friends 3 years ago to be closer to be family.
Why would anyone continue living somewhere inconvenient just to stop friends from feeling put out?! I find that bizarre

I personally would not up sticks at this stage in my life other than to downsize in the same area. Most of my family are reasonably close by and I have good friends who have been a great support since I was widowed. Circumstances can change and if one of you is left on your own in an area where you have no family & few close friends you could be very lonely.

Some years ago my DS & her husband moved several hundred miles away to a beautiful spot in a little village on the coast, they stayed for around five years before eventually moving back ‘home’ it wasn’t quite the life they thought it would be. They do say you can’t live on a view!

Hetty58: I think your puzzlement reflects that we use the word "friend" to mean anyone who is a good acquaintance, through to people who are effectively family. I often distinguish by saying "good" or "very good" friend. I use the term "group of friends" often meaning people I am friendly with for various reasons, but they might not, by themselves, be good friends. That's just me!

I moved away and found that most friends drifted, but after 10 years I have kept contact with one who I've been close to for 40 years. I've made new friends but they'll never be old friends