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Speak out or stay quiet?

(84 Posts)
eddiecat78 Thu 17-Aug-23 16:14:06

That's a tricky one. We used to live in 500 year old house where literally dozens of people had died of all ages and it didn't bother me. However, not far away was a Victorian lunatic asylum which has been converted into very smart housing and I wouldn't want to live there at all.

biglouis Thu 17-Aug-23 16:07:22

No I would not tell them about things that had happened in the house as I would consider them no longer relevent. However if I had knowledge of a bad neighbour or other problems in the area (drugs/crime etc) I would warn them and let them exercise their own judgement.

Oldnproud Thu 17-Aug-23 16:04:59

But now I will continue...

After less than a month of living there, one of the adults, very stressed, has just announced that they think they have a ghost. Strange noises in the house last night, as if someone was trying to open and close windows.

Before you ask, no, they haven't found out. I am almost certain that I would be the first person they would tell if that were to happen.

If this turns out to be anything more than a one-off unexplained occurrence, I think I will be suggesting that they organize some kind of religious blessing, even though neither I nor they actually practice any religion.

Callistemon21 Thu 17-Aug-23 15:57:13

If they wanted to, they could choose to have the house blessed.

Whether or not they are religious, it could being comfort if they were concerned at all.

Oldnproud Thu 17-Aug-23 15:47:57

I have never had any reason to think that either adult believes in ghosts, grandtanteJE65. In fact, everything in your reply coincides 100% with my own thoughts while trying to decide whether or not to say anything

Oldnproud Thu 17-Aug-23 15:44:00

I thought long and hard about telling them, Theexwife, but for reasons that I won't go into, I was afraid that throwing that potential spanner into the works at that stage in the buying process could actually do more harm than good.

Just to say, though, that I have no idea whatsoever whether knowing would have changed their decision.

Like you, I felt that they might find out about it in the future, but was confident that by then, they would be settled and happy enough in the house for it to not really be an issue.

grandtanteJE65 Thu 17-Aug-23 15:32:34

I would certainly not tell them. If they have not heard this story it is unlikely to trouble them.

If they do hear it and are worried by it - but why would they be?, you could say you had heard this too, but thought it was probably just gossip and irrelevant unless they believe in ghosts. If they do believe the garden is haunted, they could ask the nearest priest to come and bless the house and garden for them.

Theexwife Thu 17-Aug-23 15:30:16

I probably would say in case it would bother them, they will find out at some point from neighbours.

It wouldn’t actually bother me what had happened in a house previously, I live in a house that is two hundred years old where there have been two deaths that I know of, both from falling down the steep narrow staircase.

Oldnproud Thu 17-Aug-23 15:26:30

Imagine that a family you know very well was planning to move house, and after a long time searching, founds a 30 -40 year old property that suited them, offered the asking price and it was accepted. Then well past halfway through the process, you found out by pure chance that bad things have happened there in the past (domestic violence) which led to a suicide. Not inside, but in the garden.

Would you tell them what you had learned or not?

I chose not to say anything, but will add more later.