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Inadvertently upsetting someone

(56 Posts)
Cid24 Sat 02-Sept-23 12:22:48

My DH and I were in restaurant yesterday, and DH being a chatty chap started talking to the waitress. He asked her where she was from, and before she could answer he said, " are you from Romania ?'
She got very cross with him , asked why he would assume that, and said that she shouldn't assume and that he should have just asked where she was from.
He apologised , and she said she was from Albania.
Do the Albanians and Romanians dislike each other?
He realises that he was clumsy but really didn't mean to upset her. He's an ex English language teacher and is interested to know peoples backgrounds, and where in the world they are from.He loves maps and travel.
My pal thinks he's being nosy and shouldn't ask anything at all.
I'm sure you gransnetters will have some views on this!

Cid24 Mon 04-Sept-23 17:19:09

All very interesting replies and much food for thought. Thank you ☺️

Witzend Mon 04-Sept-23 17:50:04

TBH, BigLouis, having seen the memorial in a Cretan village to all the local men - every single male villager - aged from about 17 to 80 - who were shot en masse by the Germans, I do wonder how any German is brave enough to visit Crete.
There was still a very sad and sombre atmosphere there.

Greenfinch Mon 04-Sept-23 18:00:01

Very interesting Biglouis and Witzend.1 have just finished reading The Thread by Victoria Hislop which is set in Thessaloniki and portrays very well the background for this anti German feeling. Sorry I have gone off thread a bit.

hollysteers Mon 04-Sept-23 18:14:20

My late brother in law loved to instigate conversations with anyone who crossed his path and was always on the look out socially for someone to open a conversation with. I’m afraid after the opening “Where are you from?”, it quickly turned into an actual interrogation (he was a lawyer) which wasn’t appreciated by everyone..
His partner certainly didn’t enjoy these in depth probings.

Maybe the waitress had suffered similarly and could have been having a bad day?

Chardy Mon 04-Sept-23 22:48:31

If I accidentally irritated or upset someone working in a restaurant, I'd apologise and leave a bigger tip than usual.