The other in laws .Are you alike or different.?

We have a polite relationship but we are very different and only get on superficially

This is true I'd say of all 4 "sets" of in-laws to a greater or lesser extent.
One has a lovely mum and a rather tedious dad.
I keep in touch, usually by WhatsApp with her but none of the others. She and I have shared some tough times so I know we have some things in common. I suppose I'd actually say I love her in a quiet kind of way for the times of mutual support.

I actually wouldn't care if I never saw two of the "in-laws" again though!
The good news is they all seem to love our adult children so that is enough for me.
I'd say we are more "left" leaning than any of them and two of the men are decidedly boorish. One of the mums only cares about prestige and money - which I find hard to stomach - but it doesn't matter as she isn't interested in me anyway (not having either of these!).

DD - they're nice, very sociable and always doing something, usually as a family. We are friends with them but not over-friendly.
DS - I love his MiL, she's very strange but very friendly, FiL (step) is friendly enough. We join in at family parties, BBQs, etc.
The actual FiL, meh, he and his wife are ok, not met them much. But they seem friendly enough.
DSD - Not met FiL, he moved to Thailand. But MiL is very friendly. We don't live in the same county, so rarely see her.

Very different, and quite a bit older.

As this is an open Forum- not a good idea to give detailed info.

Only one set of in-laws to deal with and we are very different. Have only met up with them a handful of times (once was at the wedding). DD and DSiL don't see much of them either!

We are very different but remain friendly for the family's sake and only meet on shared grandchildren's special occasions.

My current ones are all lovely. My ex ones always insisted on greeting us with a big hug, and turned out to be the most 2 faced couple I've ever net

I don't see much of my DD's IL's very strange but a day is fine! My DS has a FIL, MIL died awhile ago and FIL and I get along well and often go out together althoug he lives quite a long way away. My DIL is lovely as are the GC. We all get on well. I am very lucky.

Not at all. My DD’s in-laws. One huge family. Cousins, aunties, uncles always visiting. Grubby house and very intrusive questions.. We are quiet, and a little reserved

Wat a funny thought, HelterSkelter! Maybe the world of Gransnet is smaller than we think 🤔 😕 😅
Both our AC married foreigners, but both SiL (Western European cagey I know, sorry) and DiL (Antipodean) chose to live on this landmass. Neither couple lives near us, but we, just me now, keep in close touch.
As for the AC's inlaws, or outlaws as DH used to say, we have stayed with both in their respective countries, and they have stayed with us and we get on fine. Both sets are close to their AC.

HelterSkelter1

I wonder if any of you are the " other in laws". I mean your children are married to other gransnetters children on this thread!!!

😂
Oh! To see ourselves as others see us!

I wonder if any of you are the " other in laws". I mean your children are married to other gransnetters children on this thread!!!

I occasionally meet my eldest daughters mil who I have known for years and have more in common with for the occasionally lunch or coffee. I only see the others at birthday parties etc and then it’s just polite (sometimes a little awkward) small talk and then we go out separate ways and don’t meet up again until the next birthday party. Unless you really hit it off and have lots in common it’s probably better that way.

I don’t think in laws mix as much now, not like they did years ago.

We only met my DiL’s mother at their wedding when sadly she was in the throes of dementia and had no idea what was going on, but she was a very sweet lady even then. Her father had died. I don’t know how well we would have got on - he was a high ranking police officer and we would have moved in different circles, as indeed we did with DD’s in laws. He was a self made man with a number of serious achievements behind him, and considerable influence at our university. We invited them to dinner in order to meet them and had a jolly evening. We met a few times thereafter at their house and ours and they were sociable, easy and kind, but it was not the kind of relationship you would want to foster. Unfortunately he died before my grandson could get to know him which is a shame.

Both my AC have broken marriages but when they were each together with former spouses we had nothing at all in common with one set and very little with the others.
However the second set we did meet up with occasionally and politeness ruled and we were fine.
The first set we never met after the wedding.
All four and my H are dead now, I am the last survivor 😗

Neither DD nor DS have married although we have 2 DGS's and one DGD. We found it odd that eldest DGS's DM only invited us round a couple of times in 18 years and never introduced us to meet her DF - (nor did DS's next partner in 7 years). DGD's DF was not interested and made no contact or contribution and younger DGS's DF's family have frequent huge family gatherings which we find overwhelming. Fortunately we live many hundreds of miles apart and the pandemic also meant our visits to the area were few and far between.... They also have very different values, priorities and aspirations and are all business people whereas our side are all public servants, mainly in Health & Social Care.... We are all also Scottish and they are all English. These differences have led to many distressing fallings out and DD decided to separate from DGD's dad 5 years ago. It is now looking like she may move back to Scotland with DGD although this will mean leaving DGS with his DF....

DIL is estranged from her parents, so I have no idea what they are like, having never met them.

From what she says, which is very little, we are totally different from them, and I suspect we would not get on at all if we ever should meet.

We get on at family occasions but have nothing in common with any of them.We have a totally different lifestyle and try and try and enjoy life as much as possible.I don’t think they approve of us.!

Chalk and Cheese. We're always polite and reticent.

We have two DDs and two SILs. The elder and family live about 25 miles away and we see them a couple of times a month. Her In-laws live round the corner and see a lot more of them. We meet all together 3-4 times a year especially at Christmas and birthdays. We get along fine. Not saying best friends but they are a very polite couple and have a fascinating knack of remembering everything you have ever told them, so conversation flows easily. They love the GC as we do. Sadly their DD died in her thirties, married but no children, so we are pleased they have our GC. Our younger DD lives 200 miles away and SIL's parents another hundred, so we have only met them twice!! We got on okay. Younger pair have no children - just starting with IVF. All the in-laws are similar ages, similar lifestyles, similar outlook on life. We consider ourselves very lucky.

GP 1 not really GPs as DD and SiL no children. Inlaws very down to earth and have since separated. Have never had much contact as live quite a bit away.
2nd GPs. Only one parent left. Both however well educated with no frills. Rather too keen on nationality for me but have a fair relationship with the remaining one when we meet, which is occasionally.
3rd In laws. Very, very well off. However, they worked for it all and the wealth is in the background albeit no expense spared when doing anything eg renovations to recent house purchase (with orchard). No frills attitude and very welcoming. Again distance means few meet ups.
Real mix of characters and backgrounds in family now.

It must be so nice to have lovely in laws as quite a few of you have. We only have one DS and always hoped he’d meet a lovely girl with a lovely family as many of our family have sadly passed now and it would of been great for him to have had BIL’s / DSIL’s etc one day when we pass on. If DS stays with his wife they will sadly be mostly alone. DS in laws are the vilest people I’ve ever had the misfortune to meet. The mother is a fully blown narcissistic sociopath and the husband, her other daughter and son in law are enablers! I tried to get on with them at the first couple of meetings but apparently she doesn’t like anyone else in her life only her own children and their partners and grandchildren. She’s obsessed with controlling them. She blew off her other daughter in law’s husbands mother, poor woman has never met her 4 grandchildren. She blew off her own MIL & FIL and brother & sister in law, her own sister and family and did her upmost to get rid of myself & husband out of our sons life! Unfortunately for her she met her match with me as I saw through the whole family upon first meeting them. I firmly told my son that there was no way she was coming between us & him. We had some awful times over the years caused by her and her husband and I will never talk to them again as long as I live. Fortunately my DIL realised she was a narcissist years ago and couldn’t stand her own family either and hadn’t spoke to them for many years due to their behaviour. The one I feel sorry for is my DGS but at least he’s not influenced by their vile ways I suppose.

My DiL is from a lovely family and I get on well with her parents. I'm probably closer to them than some members of my own family as we have more in common. During the week before our offspring's wedding we stayed together in the house they were going to be living in - the couple were still living in their previous homes - so I got to know them fairly well while busy sewing bunting and picking flowers for bouquets amongst other wedding preparations. On the last night DiL came to stay in the house with her parents and I'd planned to sleep at the home of a friend of my DD but one of their relatives couldn't come last minute so I was gifted a hotel room which had already been paid for! As a result I met other members of the family too. It's lovely feeling fully part of the family!

DD’s partner is South African his parents have never visited the U.K. and his mum died last year. We never got to meet either of them. DS1 wife’s parents are lovely we see them birthdays Christmas etc and although not like us and a bit older have the same values and morals and we get on really well. DS2 partner has lost both parents who we unfortunately never met.

My sons first wife’s family got on really well. His 2nd well her dad and his partner get on well with her mum well not even dil gets on with her and her 2nd hubby 🤣 she is a me me me lol and my other sons inlaws dad is quiet stays home her mum we go to day outs with grandson and step grandson together with my son and her daughter. It doesn’t matter if you get on or not it’s if you can be friendly in front of your grandkids when need to be.

Other than the grandchildren I have nothing in common with 'the in-laws'. We exchange Christmas cards and chat if we meet at family events, other than that we just don't mix bur we all know that should we need help and support we only have to ask.