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Anyone relocated back?

(167 Posts)
CountessFosco Sun 24-Sep-23 17:28:46

After 44 years' absence, we recently relocated back to England.
We regret the move as it was a terrible shock. Has anyone else been through the same painful process? We cannot return post Brexit and my OH having had a significant "round" birthday.
Be gentle with replies please - feeling miserable and vulnerable.

luluaugust Wed 27-Sep-23 10:01:03

I am sorry it has been such a shock and of course hindsight is a wonderful thing, obviously a test run would have been a good idea. I guess it is a big breath and join a few things, what did you do when you were trying to settle in the other countries?
Many years ago now my mum and dad moved down to be near us, in their 70's they thought they would see a lot of us and the grandchildren. Unfortunately in our late forties we were both working full time and the grandchildren were off to University, work and head down for A levels. I know my dad was disappointed.
I hope you do find a path through and start to feel a bit happier.

Sorchame Wed 27-Sep-23 10:17:32

Callistemon21

Sorchame

Who mentioned children?

CountessFosco mentioned moving back to be near her DS and DIL, so I presumed she was referring to that part of the family.

She could, of course, have meant very elderly parents who would be there to help them on a day-to-day basis, although they could be well over 100, I would think.

Never presume anything.

Sorry, I presumed that DaisyAnneReturns presumed that you presumed that I was referring to children 😂

Aveline Wed 27-Sep-23 10:25:54

I was similarly busy with work and growing children but always visited my parents and grandmother at least weekly. It was just part of life. However, looking back on it, I do think we overlooked my MiL. She was a very kind person who'd played a large part in the children's early lives. DH didn't phone her or make any effort to keep in touch. She'd obviously be part of larger family events but I think she must have been sad between times. It was never personal, we were just busy. She never phoned us. We did look after her when she became very old and I'll but I still wonder how she must have felt during the previous decade or so. I'm sorry.

Aveline Wed 27-Sep-23 10:26:40

ill not I'll

Callistemon21 Wed 27-Sep-23 10:42:22

Sorchame

Callistemon21

Sorchame

Who mentioned children?

CountessFosco mentioned moving back to be near her DS and DIL, so I presumed she was referring to that part of the family.

She could, of course, have meant very elderly parents who would be there to help them on a day-to-day basis, although they could be well over 100, I would think.

Never presume anything.

Sorry, I presumed that DaisyAnneReturns presumed that you presumed that I was referring to children 😂

Never presume anything!!

M0nica Wed 27-Sep-23 11:39:56

Joseann I write of Normandy, Manche to be precise. France is renowned for its regional differences. We both write of the regions we know - and they differ.

halfpint1 Wed 27-Sep-23 14:29:28

Mollygo

M0nica we must go to different parts of France from you. There still seems to be so much more smoking there than where we live, and it’s the locals, not the visitors.

Very little smoking going on in my region now and none in my family, alcohol consumption on the way down as well, yeay

Mollygo Wed 27-Sep-23 18:33:11

halfpint1 same applies where we live UK for smoking. I don’t know about alcohol consumption, because it depends which report I look at. Probably the same in other countries.

Joseann Wed 27-Sep-23 19:28:41

Being an unashamed foodie I took a visit to the supermarché today for some research (this should probably be in a separate thread, but anyway ....)

There was a whole central section of what might be called "ready meals" but they were nothing like we have packaged up in Tescos or Sainsburys. I counted 9 choices - dish of the day, or dish of the moment as they were called - stuffed tomatoes, chicken chasseur, paella,

Mollygo Wed 27-Sep-23 19:52:18

Love the stuffed tomatoes. Once they’d eaten them in France, my family were happy to eat the ones I make. Also like the “1 minute on each side’ ham.

M0nica Thu 28-Sep-23 08:13:58

I wouldn't expect a French supermarket, or a German, or Indian, or Nigerian supermarket to contain the same ready meals as a British supermarket.

French supermarkets all have large traiteur sections were you can buy ready prepared meals by the portion - roast chicken, paella, couscous, fish dishes, cassoulet, you name it, they have it, but every bit as much a ready meal as anything in a cardboard box in a freezer or chill cabinet in the UK,

And for most of the time we have been coming over here (30 years+) they have had a large section of shelving(20 feet or more) given over to meals in tins and packets, something that we do not really have in the UK: ravioli, spaghetti bolognaise, cassoulet, sausage and lentils, cuisse de canard, and too many single portion meals to even begin to list.

The French are in to ready meals, and always have been - they just do it differently.

Joseann Thu 28-Sep-23 08:56:17

I think half my post at 19.28 went missing .... where I was actually speaking about the differences and shopping habitudes of a very demanding food loving nation. There are packaged meals in their supermarkets, but they are no way as popular here as queueing up in the dailymarket or at the fresh counters which we don't have back home.
Anyway I'm off to fight my way round les Halles for my potatoes dauphinouses, the exact portion of which they will ladel into a pot. And then some fish caught this morning.
Along with hundreds of other self respecting french foodies of course!

Witzend Thu 28-Sep-23 09:12:21

We returned after 13 years in Middle Eastern countries (it was more like 15 for dh) in 1987. We had returned every summer for a few weeks, so any changes were gradual.

Since 1987, though, our local area has changed enormously. A lot more housing, familiar ‘landmark’ buildings disappearing to be replaced by blocks of flats, and there’s been a huge increase in immigration - at least half the languages I hear on the buses (which I use a lot) are not English. Please NB, this is not a complaint.

We are still very happy here, and in fact appreciate the local facilities even more now, but I can imagine that if we’d returned after 44 years away, especially if there had been no visits in the meantime, it would have taken quite a bit of getting used to.

Nannarose Thu 28-Sep-23 10:21:09

Aveline

I was similarly busy with work and growing children but always visited my parents and grandmother at least weekly. It was just part of life. However, looking back on it, I do think we overlooked my MiL. She was a very kind person who'd played a large part in the children's early lives. DH didn't phone her or make any effort to keep in touch. She'd obviously be part of larger family events but I think she must have been sad between times. It was never personal, we were just busy. She never phoned us. We did look after her when she became very old and I'll but I still wonder how she must have felt during the previous decade or so. I'm sorry.

I do understand Aveline, and I wonder if it is relevant that it was your MiL. When we married, I said to DH that I would always welcome his family, close and wider, and attend any family 'dos', but that the day-to-day keeping in touch was down to him. It rarely happened.
Whilst the children were at home, I did keep in touch myself, so they were not disadvantaged. Once that was done, I went back to saying it was down to him, so we see his family maybe once a year. Fortunately our children are still close to their cousins and keep in touch.

For myself, I am very wary of calling busy families when they have a lot else to think about, and they almost never call us. I do if I feel much time has elapsed. I try to be helpful - say by taking a meal with us when we visit.

This conversation has many strands that have arisen. I too feel that Britain is broken in so many ways. I do my bit to mend it - but I think if you feel like a stranger it is difficult to know how to handle things. I don't know if Countess is still following this, I hope that some of it has been helpful.

nanna8 Thu 28-Sep-23 12:57:20

We don’t get that many ready meals in Australia,either. The ones they have are pretty ordinary and to be honest, I wouldn’t feed them to my dog. Fresh food is plentiful and quick to cook so why would you bother with fake fast food ?

Callistemon21 Thu 28-Sep-23 14:43:29

nanna8

We don’t get that many ready meals in Australia,either. The ones they have are pretty ordinary and to be honest, I wouldn’t feed them to my dog. Fresh food is plentiful and quick to cook so why would you bother with fake fast food ?

Oh, they look awful, although I can't say I've tried one!

Now, some of the ready meals here are very good, for speed and laziness they are a good alternative to home-cooked.
I've ordered a Waitrose Meal Deal for Friday.