Now here is a dilemma ....... what would you do?

Some years ago, we had the central heating updated. A very pleasant and diligent young man spent hours on installing temperature control valves on each radiator

My grandmother had recently died, probate was granted and I had inherited her engagement ring
A daughter was home from university for Christmas and , as eldest child I planned to pass it on to her.

I started to pack up the presents only to discover that grandma's ring was missing and it was obvious to me where it had gone although I was dismayed to entertain the idea.
As I took my husband aside to tell him of my suspicions, I noticed flashes from my daughter's hand as she sat in a dark corner near the fire
Yes, she said, waving the ring at me, It was so pretty, I thought I should try it on
..... and I was so close to following my earlier suspicions about the guiltless young plumber

The very old lady in our flats announced that valuable rings had been stolen. It was very difficult for her kind neighbour who really looked after. The police were involved. The rings were found in the bottom of a cupboard. The policemen warned the kind neighbour not to go into the flat on her own again as it rendered her vulnerable to allegations. After that people went in twos.

It’s a difficult position to be in but if you are going to accuse your cleaning lady you also have to consider every person who has been in your home.

I have had the same happen with less valuable and noticeable items. I took the coward's way out and cancelled a new cleaner (with a lie). I felt I couldn't do anything about it as I couldn't be absolutely certain it was her. I fear as one grows older this will happen again. "Loss of memory" will be mentioned.. "Losing her marbles". Because of this I have given away my valuables to my family. I still grieve for the loss of a non-valuable, but pretty item, given to me by my grandmother way back in the Forties. I comfort myself with the saying, " Well you can't take it with you," though I'm tempted to add, "In that case I'm not going!"

Someone might have taken them prior to her starting. I’ve mislaid stuff and assumed it’s my fault rather than loose a cleaner or carer.
Anything valuable needs to be under lock and key to be safe. Without the key left in it.

Thats not nice at all. What a difficult place to be in!

I think it's a warning to us all that sadly times have changed and there are more opportunistic people around. A note through the letterbox is not a safe option.

If you only discovered the loss with this new person, it doesn't look like the old cleaner.

I had a cleaner once who was recommended to me. He had slight learning difficulties and was easy to be around and did a good job. I never left him alone in the house, however. I recommended him to someone else for their elderly mother with mild dementia. He was given her bank card to go and do shopping for her. It later transpired that he had a criminal record and had used her card to withdraw money for himself. He was arrested.

Please let us know what you decide to do... not easy!

The previous cleaner I had I instructed never to go into my stock room as I did not want things moved about. The boxes of stock are kept in a specific order.

One day I went in to find her looking through boxes of jewellery. I asked her what she was doing there and she tried to argue that she was "Just giving it a tidy". I paid her off immediately and told her never to come back. I made no secret of the fact that I was very displeased and suspicious of her behaviour.

I have not yet come across anthing missing. Because I deal in antique and vintage jewellery she may not have realised the value of what was there.

I now have a small cctv camera in there on a high shelf where its unlikely to be noticed.

This is awful and particularly so as the thief must have realised that the two rings would be of huge sentimental value to you.

Can I ask, did you request any references from this girl? You say she just put a card through your door, so she was in effect a complete stranger who you left in your house.

I do realise your dilemma though that you can’t be absolutely sure that they were stolen but from what you have said it does sound like it.

In your position I would definitely have a word with the neighbour, telling her what you have said on here, about the slight uncertainty, but I do think she should be warned.

Thank you. I cannot be 100% sure they are stolen, so there is nothing I can do but hope they might turn up.

I think they probably have gone and I'm really sorry, Luckygirl
However, you could sit calmly and let your mind drift back to when you last saw them.
You could also pray to St Anthony- yes it does work, obviously only if they are still in the house somewhere.
Dear St Anthony, full of grace, lead me to their hiding place.

Good luck, whatever you decide to do.

Calendargirl it makes you a real sensible person.
When you employ a cleaner you know nothing about their past or character.Don’t leave valuable items on show when a cleaner comes round or in drawers or cupboards as they can easily be found.Keep jewellery in your handbag with you or behind tins of food in the kitchen if you must.
why does anyone trust somebody they really don’t know?
What a shame for you Luckygirl to lose treasured items in this way, but if you have other jewellery, loose change, cash, cheque book, credit and debit cards and anything else, keep it on you while a cleaner is in the house.
Other things can be taken too, watches, small ornaments, perfume and so on.

How awful. I would rather give something away than have it stolen.

It’s sad not to be able to trust people.

I dread having to employ a cleaner as I would feel I had to lock valuables away.

I know that doesn’t make me a very nice person.

I’m sorry for you too Luckygirl what an unsettling experience.
x

I'm not sure what you can do, or if you'll ever see them again, Luckygirl. Just wanted to say I'm sorry this has happened.

Horrible.
It happened to my grandmother when she was elderly, and my father noticed things missing: unused sheets, pillowcases, towels and a tartan travelling rug. She asked the cleaner, supplied by social services, who wad very offended and refused to work for her again. Some time later my uncle died and then my aunt was ill; my parents went to help, and discovered all the items in their house; apparently no-one was using them and so they helped themselves each time they visited.
Parents contacted social services and were able to apologise to the cleaner who said she was glad to be vindicated, but what an awful thing for my uncle and aunt to do. There were all sorts of other things, not valuable but family items that had come from an uncle who fought in the Crimean war, which my uncle had taken without saying, which upset my father as he wanted me to have them. I did eventually, but there was a real family tussle over them.

For all you know they may have been missing for ages, long before the new cleaner started work for you, or…. speaking of the “proverbial safe place”, are you sure you didn’t put your rings in a safe place prior to a new cleaner starting?

It is distressing feeling you have to mistrust people. I am just hoping that a miracle might occur and they turn up somewhere - though goodness knows where - I never move them from the cupboard.

It's a horrible feeling when someone steals from you and this does sound like a theft.
I did wonder when I had to leave workmen in my flat if they were honest. The only thing they did was to eat all my biscuits.
I think I may invest in a small safe for valuables in case I have to have work done in future.

There are a lot on Ebay but it is worth a search; not something I've looked at before but you can search by size if that helps.

It's rather uncomfortable not knowing for sure and the fact she is cleaning for your neighbour is awkward.
Could you ask the nrighbour how she's getting on with the cleaner?
Or ask if she can recommend a cleaner and try to find out subtly?

I would doubt that it was the old cleaner if she is well-known in the area.

How awful. I lost an item of jewellery, just a necklace, but found it years later when I moved a piece of furniture out. And, when I was at school a purse disappeared. I was accused of covering up for someone (although the headmistress was probably asking me to confess to stealing it) because I blushed when the teacher asked the thief to confess. I also thought people would think it was me because I went to a very good grammar school and my family was very poor compared to everyone else’s. I didn’t want to go back to school after the summer holidays but couldn’t tell my parents because I knew it would upset them but, when I did return in September they told us that the piano tuner had found it inside the piano. It really affected me quite badly. It’s a horrible situation when something goes missing. I looked for a small silver ring to give to my granddaughter but couldn’t find it. Then, lo and behold, when I looked in my jewellery drawer for something else, there was the ring! I think, in retrospect, it might have been a good idea to keep the cleaner on but keep a record of anything of value in the house so you’d know for certain that she could be the only person to have taken it. There’s also the worry that she’s preying on other people, too.

Or on Vinted.

You have a real dilemma! I think looking on ebay is a good idea as I agree with others that say a young person is more likely to sell things on there. I think the fact that you left her to lock up enabled her to have a good look round. Exactly this happened to a friend of mine, it's awful when you feel you cannot trust anyone.

That's a sound point BlueBelle, I had assumed the regular cleaner had worked for Luckygirl long enough to be trusted . Whatever it is a very unpleasant situation to be in. There is a remote chance the rings turn up somewhere else in the house , do hope so.

When we were first married my husband arrived home with a young lad who had started working on his construction site who had nowhere to sleep as he just arrived in London . We put him up on our living room floor for a couple of nights .I was working as a nurse and wearing jewellery was not allowed. A good few days later I realised that my engagement ring and a ring of my grandmother’s were missing. I was so upset but had no proof it was him - we also left our small bedroom window open sometimes . The young lad was no longer on site to quiz him . I’m sure it was him but the police were not helpful. The rings weren’t valuable as we had little money when we married but of such sentimental value.

Well she doesn’t know they did coincide with the new cleaner because she hadn’t looked before Shelflife it could have been the old cleaner and that will put things in a right pickle as she ll be back soon !!!