Why are we so b****y polite?

I would ask for myself or my travelling companions .....but if I had a seat I wouldn't call anyone out

I had to ask someone on a bus to move her knees. She was sitting sideways and taking up half of the other seat, while other people stood. I’ve noticed before that people stand rather than ask for bags to be moved. That’s encouraging people’s thoughtlessness - or selfishness.

You say that but as a Dutch woman I can tell you that we Dutch are so blunt that it can be taken for rudeness. The British are much more polite but we have to read between the lines what you actually mean. Going to talk to the staff would’ve definitely on my list. My daughter got stuck in Greece with the fire in Luton and got so annoyed rebooking as no one was helping out and the staff were next to useless sending them from one place to another. Telling her she could only fly on Sunday for a measly £1000. Believe me that once she had finished she not only had a flight but also got a refund. Sometimes it helps to be blunt, sometimes it doesn’t.

That's not polite it's passive. That's not me knocking you, but I used to tell myself I was being too polite. Once I saw it for what it was, it was easier to start asking for what was absolutely reasonable to ask for. Politely of course.

Fleurpepper

Scribbles

I'd ask them politely to move their bags. If they refused or simply didn't respond then I'd put the bags on the floor.

This- I did the very same on Saturday at Lisbon airport.

You said recently you didn’t fly these days FP. 😁

I got on a bus a few weeks ago and sat in the disabled area. The woman (I won’t call her a lady) said that is a disabled seat, I responded - exactly. Nothing more was said. I have hidden disabilities and don’t use a walking stick, so not obvious however the comment was uncalled for.

I’ve never had a problem speaking out

I think that most people just ignore the signs about particular bus seats being for people who can't stand easily, usually because the bus is crowded. Most here will stand for a disabled or very elderly person, though they may have to be asked.
Perhaps we spend too much time trying to look younger - it might be better if we crawled onto buses on bad days, looking our ages?!

Urmstongran

I think a lot of people are behaving ‘Covid averse’. They put their bags on seats to discourage others getting too close.

To be fair I do have Covid at the moment and may well have caught it on the bus! There are still quite a few people who wear masks in London, presumably because they are vulnerable.

NannyJan53

This happens on buses often too. I have seen people politely ask someone to move their bag so they could sit down. The 'offender' usually looks quite surprised.

I boarded a bus recently with Mum (93) it was full mainly of school children. Not one offered her a seat. Then a man got up and offered her his seat. I said in a loud voice, 'Mum this gentleman has offered you his seat' Not a flicker from any of the other passengers as they were all engrossed on their phones. I stood all the way to town!

I usually ask people to move their bags or move across if there is an empty seat next to them. They always do. I'm often travelling with my two young GC on the way to school and normally get them to sit in the space, at which point I'm often offered a seat close by. It is usually not people of white British backgroound who offer seats, we natives seem to have lost our manners.
A very nasty white British woman, smartly dressed and in her 60s forced her way onto a bus in front of me the other day, almost knocking my GD over as I struggled to keep my GS on his feet. I had words with her on the bus about queues and manners and many people on the bus smiled at me as I sat down. She was typical of the people with this behaviour I'm afraid.

You needn't even have said anything. Just go up to them and point to the bag. That is what I do, on buses and in waiting areas. If they don't comply, go higher - but, then, I am Mediterranean, not British!

I would definitely have asked, politely, if I could please sit down on the chair.

I happen to do it myself - if the gate is half empty and there are lots of seats, I’ll put my bag on the seat next to me. When it gets busy I move it to the floor.

It is annoying to see the chairs filled with bags when people are standing around. I think people are saying don’t invade my space!

I hope they get seated next to a big hairy, sweaty, stinky guy on the flight.
USA Gundy

There was a thread on Mumsnet about two passengers with reborn dolls in buggies taking up the spaces intended for mothers with genuine children. Apparently the passenger (with the real child) asked the driver for assistance but he declined on the grounds that it was not his responsibility to go around asking passengers if their child was "real". A few of the posters implied that anyone taking a reborn doll onto a bus in these circumstances must have mental health problems.

There is a section on the US Ebay site for these dolls and I find them very creepy.

Digressing slightly, when were in Prague ( five of us), we noticed that on a busy tram or bus young people leapt up immediately to give us seats, even though we were not as decrepit as we are now!
I’ve never seen anyone refuse to move a bag, but have seen them refuse to move a child who could easily have sat on their knee.

Urmstongran

I think a lot of people are behaving ‘Covid averse’. They put their bags on seats to discourage others getting too close.

No my son and I had a problem on National Express. We got on, there were no free seats due to bags etc. Then the bus driver told us we had to sit down and I said there were no free seats. He didn’t give a shit and neither did anyone else so we were forced to ask people if we could sit next to them. This was long before Covid.

I heard of a woman with one of those reborn dolls in a buggy. She insisted on parking her buggy in the space on the bus. A woman with a real baby and buggy had nowhere to park her buggy!

A seat occupied on a bus, train by a bag, I'd be asking if the item paid a fare for the seat! At the airport I've noticed bags take up a lot of seats. If struggling I'd try to get staff involved to get one cleared or ask if the seat is being used by a passenger just in case they've nipped to the loo and using the bag to keep their seat. It's all this me, me, me attitude these days.

we are too polite, it is true. My husband would also moan but also say not to say anything!

How was Oslo?

Oh I would have just said excuse me can you move your bag. And if they ignored me i would have put my bum on the edge and slowly pushed the bag with my bum there would have moved it in time. I’m always doing if on a train etc do you mind moving your bag can give as many dirty looks as they want. Then I thank them afterwards lol

I laugh - Mum used to say (stage whisper) 'People are looking!' - this being the worst that could happen - Now people are brought up to make sure that 'People are looking' as much and as often as possible - Yup - ask for that seat - if they mind for a sensible reason, you will know - if not maybe you will sit down.

silly me, I've requested deletion.

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

I would have asked them to move their bags so I could have the seat I had paid for like them. They were allowed to be rude and inconsiderate.

I put my had on the bag and say, do you mind if I move this.
It changes the dynamics completely.