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So upset here .......

(89 Posts)
Luckygirl3 Sat 14-Oct-23 10:17:11

...... my dear teenaged GD is in hospital after taking an overdose - we are all devastated. She is likely to be OK - has come round and is talking. There is a dreadful sense of having failed her and of not knowing how to help - she is on the autistic spectrum, has gender dysphoria and intractable Crohn's Disease. How can we help this poor soul?

kittylester Sat 14-Oct-23 10:37:47

I have no answer to your question, Lucky but want to give you, your granddaughter and the whole family and really huge hug. It's all I can offer.

Whitewavemark2 Sat 14-Oct-23 10:39:51

And me. Hopefully the doctors can help her heal, but don’t blame yourselves as your love is clear and that is what she needs.

BlueBelle Sat 14-Oct-23 10:40:18

So sorry for you and your family
How can you help? firstly by not catastrophizing all of her problems She needs level headed help not any kind of wringing hands ‘oh you poor thing’ sort of help
She’s come round, she’s talking, she’s safe for now, hopefully she will be offered mental health help or counselling but in the meantime just tell her how relieved you all are that she’s ok and ask her what she feels would be helpful, do not do all the “oh you poor thing we ve been so upset, you worried us so much” that will just add to her guilt and fear.
Her feelings, her emotions, her sense of things are all totally out of her control at the moment so it needs some real level headed, non emotional help and that may not come from you
She cannot and must not have to help you all with your fears and emotions You have to be the cool headed and purely practical ones and your emotions can be released in private
I hope things go better for her and you all

nanaK54 Sat 14-Oct-23 10:40:26

Sending kindest thoughts flowers

Sar53 Sat 14-Oct-23 10:40:36

I am so sorry to hear this Lucky. She has a loving family behind her and all you can offer is love and understanding. My very best wishes to you all xxx

Callistemon21 Sat 14-Oct-23 10:41:31

I'm so sorry to hear this Luckygirl and hope she will be ok.

Is she still at school?
CAMHS is so patchy at the moment and online chats with counsellors seem to be all that is on offer.

This will need careful and gentle handling, but can her parents find out what she has been accessing online? There are some horrible sites on TikTok etc encouraging young people to do dreadful things. There really should be better protection for young people and some sites should be shut down.

Hopefully, this was a cry for help, not a deliberate attempt to take her life and she may have shocked herself as well as all of you.

Sorry I can't be more help, others may have more knowledge of what help is available.

Best wishes to you all.

Baggs Sat 14-Oct-23 10:42:06

Oh, Lucky! How devastating for you all! I can only send love ❤️

Elusivebutterfly Sat 14-Oct-23 10:45:29

You can probably help best by just acting normally and being available to her parents to talk things through.
She will be high priority for CAHMS if she took a large enough overdose to be hospitalised.

silverlining48 Sat 14-Oct-23 10:47:59

What a terrible shock fir you all but what a relief your gd is recovering. I hope she gets proper help and it doesn’t take too long . In the meantime look after yourselves. This will hopefully pass. I think bluebelle has given some good advice.
flowers

Susan56 Sat 14-Oct-23 11:02:28

Lucky I am so sorry.I hope that she can get the help she needs.She has a loving family around her and hopefully with the support and love from family and the professional help she needs things will improve.Sending so much love to you all.

JaneJudge Sat 14-Oct-23 11:03:36

I'm sorry to hear this Luckygirl sad flowers I know it doesn't feel like it but you are already helping her. She has a diagnosis already so it should be hopefully easier to access specific help and she is still young enough to develop ways of coping, even though it doesn't feel like it at the moment. You must be all reeling, look after yourselves too xx

Luckygirl3 Sat 14-Oct-23 11:07:04

She is 18 - CAMHS have offered nothing previously and she is now out of their age bracket.

Her Crohn's care has been very patchy and she has been having a truly miserable time. They cannot seem to get the right treatment.

Don't worry BlueBelle - there will be no wringing of hands in front of her. All the family are intelligent and loving and will not be loading any guilt on her.

My concern is how we move forward with this. TBH getting support for her has been like banging head against proverbial brick wall. But the adult psychiatric service will now be involved and hopefully they might be able to help.

dustyangel Sat 14-Oct-23 11:09:10

Just sending love and best wishes for the whole family.

Chocolatelovinggran Sat 14-Oct-23 11:16:45

Oh Lucky I am so sorry to hear this. Hopefully she will be able to access some adult services soon. A loving, supportive family is a wonderful resource for her. I wish you all the best.

Greenfinch Sat 14-Oct-23 11:28:31

I can understand completely how you feel*Lucky*. All I can say is fight ,fight ,fight for help and support.

Doodledog Sat 14-Oct-23 11:36:57

I'm sorry to hear that Luckygirl. You must be reeling.

MH services are so stretched these days, which is ironic given the greater awareness and rise in the number of sufferers.

I hope your granddaughter gets the help she needs, and that you and the rest of the family can support one another too.

Starof1972 Sat 14-Oct-23 11:42:24

Luckygirl I'm sorry that I too cannot offer much help but you are all in my thoughts this morning flowers

fancythat Sat 14-Oct-23 11:44:19

Crohn's is very miserable. That alone is enough for most people.
Could you get private advice?
I dont know enough about it to advise.
Perhaps start a thread on here?

2020convert Sat 14-Oct-23 11:46:24

Just don’t give up finding help and support for her. Someone, somewhere should be able to help, it’s just a case of unlocking it. So, keep on going. Sending you all strength in your difficult times. Meanwhile, we are here for moral support, even if we can’t offer practical help. Take care.

Callistemon21 Sat 14-Oct-23 11:56:10

Is she still at school, Luckygirl?

If so, perhaps, when she has recovered sufficiently, some gentle probing might find out if she is being bullied or if friendship groups have shifted as some did during lockdowns.
Teenage years can be so difficult without the added stress that Crohn's Disease can cause. And stress can cause a flare-up too.

dragonfly46 Sat 14-Oct-23 12:06:43

Oh Lucky how sad for you and your family. All I can do is send love and hugs.

Bea65 Sat 14-Oct-23 12:14:47

So sad to hear this..sending good wishes..

Blossoming Sat 14-Oct-23 12:18:25

So very sorry to hear this Luckygirl13. It’s natural to feel that you could have done something to prevent this, but you are in no way to blame. I hope your GD gets the professional help and support she needs. Wishing you and your family all the best flowers

Jaxjacky Sat 14-Oct-23 12:31:55

So sorry for you all Luckygirl I know of a family in a similar situation who ended up paying privately for the essential mental help support desperately needed.
I do hope you all have support as well as supporting each other, take care.