So upset here .......

Thank you so much for those suggestions.

Luckygirl what a nightmare for you. There are 3 organisations that may be able to help. They were given to me by a welfare officer in relation to a young player with mental health issues.

Kooth, a free digital help line for young people from 12-25.
Young Minds
Shout, a 24 crisis helpline.

Idk if these will be appropriate but possibly worth a look.

My thoughts are with you.

I am also very sad for her and you, her family.
Is it a postcode lottery too or across the board?
Let's hope that she can get proper help soon.
Has she tried alternative therapies?

That's appalling! Very sorry she's been left in such a situation. I hope appropriate meds can be prescribed and located asap

Update - she is at home but they cannot get her sertraline prescription renewed so she is going "cold turkey" whilst this is sorted - lots of messages unanswered, delays etc. It is a disgrace. She has just shown that she is desperate, so they leave her without treatment while the wheels grind - how very illogical is that? And suddenly stopping this is known to produce grim symptoms which she is having to endure on top of all the problems that put her in this position in the first place.

Having been married to a GP and also having worked in the health service myself I feel deeply sad about what is happening now.

I have no suggestions that can help but couldn't pass this by without stopping and sending you a huge hug and saying that strength is very much needed, a ring of steel around your dear GD is very much needed, strong heads together will win through for her, yes there will be times of despair and tears but they must be wipes away and 'sleeves rolled up' to form a solid wall of help. There is light at the end of that bleak black tunnel..... x

Huge hug to you...

It has been a long haul for her with the Crohns treatments and she is still not there. On a lot of steroids with all the inevitable side effects - eventually they want to tail this off and substitute another treatment but this has not been possible so far.

Money isn't a problem - I will use my savings if needs be - but I feel very cross that the NHS has nothing for someone with no family money to draw on. It is so wrong.

I only saw your post this morning Luckygirl. Joining others in sending love to you and yours. What a difficult time you are facing.
It’s positive that your family can source and fund private therapy. As you’ll know, there are experienced specialist therapists our there, I hope someone who meets the need can be found, more importantly that your granddaughter can build a relationship with her.

Crohns is awful, these auto immune diseases rarely travel alone and always contribute to anxiety and low mood. There are good treatments now but I expect various need to be tried before the more expensive drugs are prescribed. If resources allow, a private consultation on that may be very helpful

pascal is totally right as someone with a close family member in NHS, mental health they have been almost ignored for the last 13 years and the staff health and well being is rock bottom There are no beds to send very sick patients to there are no where near enough trained staff, they are swamped and as the countries mental health deteriates the means of help gets less
and the finger of blame is pointed at the wrong people

Thank you for the helpful posts. We can all only continue to do our best for her.

Your insight into the mental health services is interesting pascal30 - how have we got to the point where mental health services are just left to dwindle, whilst at the same time we have an emphasis in the media on it? - wearing yellow last week for mental health week, royalty picking it up ..... It is all so sad really.

Luckygirl3

Thank you for the kind messages. She is home now - the worrying blood markers of kidney problems suddenly halved and they have let her home.

She did see the psychiatrist before she left, who said she should go for private counselling - I have no words. We are lucky enough to be able to support this - what happens to those who cannot? I think I know. They just sink again. It is a disgrace.

The hardest thing for us all to get our heads round is the feeling of having failed her and allowed her to get to such a point where she could see no way forward. I am no clearer now as to what we might do. She is surrounded by love; but that cannot take away her troubles. She is having to contend with a very serious life-long illness, as well as her other difficulties - and the help she has received has sadly fallen short. The services are so disjointed and slow.

I am grateful for your kind support during this unfortunate situation.

Luckygirl3.. as someone who used to work in the MH service doing assessments, albeit 10 years ago, I am not surprised that the psychiatrist suggested private counselling. It has to be a clear MH illness to be accepted in to the service and then it is for a short period of time.. things had changed radically when I left and I doubt they are any different now.. also there was no link up between MH issues and physical issues. I would think that your options are try to deal with the 2 main issues separately. Try to get a psychologist who is trained in gender issues.. and also push for the best care you can with the crohns. I'm afraid MH services are severely undefunded and the way it was reorganised some years ago mean that it is nigh on impossible to get long term care nowadays.. good wishes

So sorry, and hoping things will look much better for you all soon.

Very wise advice from BlueBelle (Saturday 10.40).

Thanks for the update Luckygirl. At least she is home now and within her loving family. It’s a hard road ahead but she has everyone on her side to help.
Hopefully the crohns can be managed once they get the medication right and it won’t be too big a problem moving forward.

X post Hetty

Please don’t beat yourself up about not realising how bad your gd was feeling. You say she is surrounded by love and she will know that.
Sometimes people’s feelings overwhelm and they just can’t deal with them , at that moment.
Carry on loving and supporting her and given time and good therapy all will be well.

It's when you find out that there's little or no support available (without years on a waiting list) unless you can afford to go private - no safety net. Here we are, in a rich country, where the general voting population don't want to pay enough tax to support a good, effective service - just shameful.

Any young person, anywhere, can suddenly fall into despair or depression, even without any apparent problems. So the 'feeling of having failed her' is unjustified.

Hope everything turns out well, Luckygirl. Just let her know how much you all love her and that she can always talk to you no matter what about or when. It is hard for a young one with a chronic illness, are there any support groups around perhaps ?

As she's on the autism spectrum be very careful what sort of psychological help you find for her. One who wants to talk about feelings and emotional aspects might actually make things worse. Cognitive behaviour therapy is more concrete and has been found to be much more useful for autistic people. I do hope your family can find just the right support for her.

Thank you for the kind messages. She is home now - the worrying blood markers of kidney problems suddenly halved and they have let her home.

She did see the psychiatrist before she left, who said she should go for private counselling - I have no words. We are lucky enough to be able to support this - what happens to those who cannot? I think I know. They just sink again. It is a disgrace.

The hardest thing for us all to get our heads round is the feeling of having failed her and allowed her to get to such a point where she could see no way forward. I am no clearer now as to what we might do. She is surrounded by love; but that cannot take away her troubles. She is having to contend with a very serious life-long illness, as well as her other difficulties - and the help she has received has sadly fallen short. The services are so disjointed and slow.

I am grateful for your kind support during this unfortunate situation.

How is your granddaughter now luckygirl?

Oh the poor girl!!
I do hope she gets whatever help she needs, and very soon!
Huge hugs to her and to you and your family, Luckygirl3. xx

Thinking of you and the whole family at this difficult time. Support for older teenagers is so hard to come by and your GD has so much to contend with. Hope that this time the NHS does its job properly and a plan is agreed to take her forward.

for you and your family Luckygirl.

Thank you for all kind words and helpful suggestions. They are appreciated.

Oh, Lucky, I am desperately sorry to hear your darling DGD reached such a low point. My heart goes out to her with so many battles to deal with.
I sincerely hope with the love and support from her family alongside the medical care she needs, help her to come through the worst of times. ♥️ I do hope all medical staff caring for her have heard her cry and address her needs.

My own 18yr old DGD is now back on her feet since MH issues began 2yrs ago which affected all of us so I understand what you are going through.
I wish all of you strength and love.