Homeless daughter - advice needed, please.

Is there a reason that she cannot stay at your house while you are away? With care or support from social services.

Most authorities will not offer to house if someone is living with a family member and there is room to do so.

www.shelter.org.uk/

try them

Your daughter isn’t technically homeless if she’s living with you. You need to give her written notice to leave by a specific date and she needs to show that to the council’s housing department. Going to the press isn’t going to endear her to the authorities.

Germanhepherd'Mum

Thank you. She is not here with me but sofa surfing. I have no wish to publicise our problems but thought it might make the authorities take action. The are pushing her from one point of help to another.

The exwife. She cannot stay here because there will be no one to supervise. Also, the current boyfriend is vile and will take the opportunity to move in. It would be very, very difficult to remove him once he has stayed. My belongings and papers will not be safe. If they were to stay it may mean that I have them forever.

What is she doing to get her own accommodations?

As for being kicked off her sheltered accommodation - why was her partner living there?

Can your daughter work?

There is a fine line between helping and enabling

Wellbeck. Thank you. Shall con tact them today.

How about talking to Citizen's Advice?

I agree Citizens Advice is a sound idea. Clearly there is more to your story than you are able to share - I fully understand and respect that . Your DD has a complexity of issues, her learning difficulties will have a huge impact on her ability to organize and assess her life. Clearly you are well aware of the need to protect yourself and that is very important! Yes, having her and her boyfriend. to live with you could well be a disastrous decision!! Not a good idea.
I can only imagine how you must be feeling, keep pushing Social Services.
It is very difficult because although your DD has learning difficulties she will more than likely be treated like any other adult - of course that is commendable but does have its drawbacks ! Your DD seems very vulnerable , her GP may be able to point her in the right direction. If she does get a GP appointment would she agree to you going with her ? I wish her and you well. 💐

I suspect that by having the boyfriend live with her she has broken yhe terms of her housing agreement (was it a licence?).. if so, technically she is "intentionally homeless" and she will have a problem finding an alternative.

I think there is another fairly recent thread like this. - I can't look for it just now but you could DM that person and see how they got on.

I think you will probably have to find the deposit for accommodation for her and be prepared to guarantee her rent.. it sounds as though she has made herself intentionally homeless as Not Spaghetti has said.

Your daughter is being irresponsible and making bad decisions

She needs to decide to adult and get her priorities straight

She would need to provide references for a private rental. By the sound of things those are unlikely to be forthcoming. She may also be dependent on housing benefits, which many private landlords won’t accept. OP would be most unwise to act as a guarantor - it’s possible that if her daughter finds accommodation the rent will fall into arrears again and if the boyfriend moves in again things will become complicated.

If your daughter is living in your house she must observe your reasonable house rules, and if you rule that her boyfriend is not acceptable then she has to be agreeable as any guest must be.
I don't know your circumstances , however some circumstance must be rather important that you need to vacate your house at this time.

sounds like a vulnerable person has been taken advantage of, and coerced/ harassed by what is called a cocklodger on MN.
it's a pity it got so far as eviction from sheltered housing.
she sounds like the victim to me, but may appear to the authorities to be in cahoots with the reprobate.
does she have a social worker or support worker.
who ran the sheltered housing, did they not have a welfare worker who could should have intervened.
or was she so duped by the man not to see reality.
is he still on the scene.
coercive control is a police matter.
i hope something can be sorted out for her.
and best wishes to you, OP.

Thank you all. I shall try to answer as many points as I can.

The point of being intentionally homeless can be made but Uncle Fester has complete control over her movements and decisions. He was homeless, they met and she was allowed to have someone stay two or three nights a week. Not enough for him, however and he would not leave. Even when |I explained what would happen he continued to stay. When I called to see her he would not give us any privacy and would not let her come here because I didn't want him around my house.

During the first few weeks together he was arrested on an alleged very serious crime indeed. He was on Police Bail for months and they let him go with no charge after several months.

She has a genetic disorder which makes it difficult for her to differentiate clearly = it also causes behavourial difficulties when she will not listen to advice. Therefore she is very vulnerable.

I dis post about this a few weeks ago when he was trying to isolate her from her friends and me - I imagine that is the post to which you are referring, NotSpaghetti.

Co-ercive control it is. A few weeks ago she reported him to the Police, they kindly brought her here and I gave a statement and agreed to appear in Court. However, overnight he was in touch and she would not proceed with the charges.

Hithere. Most unkind and unhelpful and you need to know that "adult" is not a verb!!

Welbeck , Thank you for your kindness and understanding. Because of Human Rights Laws I am extremely limited in what I m able to do. Shall keep you up to date, Ladies. Who knows, this post may help others in difficulty.

Had she got a social worker or someone who could advocate for her who is neutral to you?

I felt the same as welbeck so do not need to repeat

shelter are fantastic, I was a social worker and always rung them for any problems with clients accommodation, hope it goes well

Have you considered Adult social care ie raising a safeguarding concern? Your daughter is obviously extremely vulnerable.

Hithere

Your daughter is being irresponsible and making bad decisions

She needs to decide to adult and get her priorities straight

you really need to read the op thoroughly before commenting in an unhelpful way!

the daughter has learning difficulties for a start.

Hithere, you never change, frequently making nasty comments.

My comment was crossposted with the op

If the learning disabilities of her daughter are this severe- detail not noted in the first post - is living independently truly good for her?

hithere it said in the very first line of the original post ….the daughter has learning difficulties you obviously didn’t read it correctly You come across as a very black and white thinker perhaps you have mild autism and lack empathy and understanding of people’s feelings but your posts are so straight thinking that they are often unhelpful which is a shame as you often come up with very valid points

I m another who thinks you need professional backing to get your daughter free of this criminal influence
Dee1012 has a good point she is a vulnerable adult which is your staring point
Can you afford a solicitor to get an injunction against this man as you imply his criminality is severe

Hithere

Your daughter is being irresponsible and making bad decisions

She needs to decide to adult and get her priorities straight

Oh come on Hithee too simplistic under the circumstances described.