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Lack of motivation

(41 Posts)
V3ra Wed 08-Nov-23 16:57:44

M0nica that's so sad for both of your friends 😕

The other thing we could all consider is having our hearing checked: apparently untreated hearing loss is another risk factor for dementia.
And of course it makes it harder to engage with other people, so it can be easier not to bother.
Again not saying that applies to anyone here, but it might be something to be aware of if a friend's behaviour changes.

On a personal note I reduced my working hours last year and now have from 9:30 to 2:30 to myself every day between school runs.
Some days I have no motivation and will slob on the sofa doing some paperwork watching A Place in the Sun, other days I'm like a whirlwind and the house doesn't know what's hit it!
One day during the week I do something with Dad.
The first time I went to the hairdresser's on a Thursday morning I felt like I was playing truant 🤣

HelterSkelter1 Wed 08-Nov-23 16:34:04

I think rjack has cracked it. A bit of everything and give the week a framework.

dogsmother Wed 08-Nov-23 15:46:19

I have to say I do a bit of volunteering and it gives me a bit of structure however it has become a little bit like the routine of going to work.
My freedom of just being at home suits me so well. I am not comfortable sitting watching tv or reading all the time as I’m quite a restless person. A bit of this and that, here and there.
So my motivation is never a problem.
Onset of depression maybe? Also for me the necessity of going for a dog walk doesn’t allow for sitting around either.

rjack Wed 08-Nov-23 15:27:30

Yes feeling comfy when in your 70,s is ok. I am 75yrs. play golf go for lunch afterwards, next day I walk with a group of friends who are very dear to me, coffee afterwards. Blitz the house one day a week, shopping the next with coffee afterwards. Meet up with friends another day. I enjoy gardening, reading and walking by myself and I am content as Larry. You must do your own thing ladies

M0nica Wed 08-Nov-23 15:14:44

V3ra We have a friend, never the most sociable of people, but blessed with a very social wife. Once he retired he retreated into a chair in the living room and read. he would take his wife anywhere, she did not drive, but he never did much or met people.

Early last year he was diagnosed with mild dementia at 75, His wife died suddenly from a stroke in July and within six months after that he deteriorated so fast that by Christmas he was in care. We have visited him, but he doesn't know us from Adam, yet we have been good friends for over 40 years and has no memory of his past life, so after talking to their daughter we go every few months and stay 10 minutes.

He was a highly intelligent computer academic, I cannot but feel that if only he had been more willing to interact with other people and had at least some activities outside of the home that he would neither have developed dementia so young , nor had it accelerate so fast.

I think it is far to easy to say 'Well, I have retired, hence forward I will just do as I like. You wouldn't say now I have retired I can eat what I like and live on nothing but jam doughnuts despite weight gain, and health problems. You need to look after your mental health as well as your physical health.

All that is needed is low key events that take you out of the house and interacting with other people once a week. When energy prices rocketed, our church opened a 'warm room' once a week. It now does lunches as well. It is well used and is relaxedly sociable, do an exercise class. I do Tai Chi and we then go out for a cup ot tea or coffee. Things like that are all thatnis needed.

V3ra Wed 08-Nov-23 14:49:47

My Dad has vascular dementia and at his annual review we were told that getting out of the same four walls, mixing and interacting with people, is the best thing to keep him as well as we can for as long as possible.

I'm not saying that's the case with anyone here, but it may be something to think about?

keepcalmandcavachon Wed 08-Nov-23 14:41:15

Trisher123, I agree this is a lovely site, peps me up time and again. I'm all for rewards toosmile

Trisher123 Wed 08-Nov-23 13:03:37

You lovely lovely people. Thank you sooooo much. I DO love being at home, so from what you've all said, will carry on, BUT will make a list beginning of each week to 'make' myself do things, - and reward myself when I do. You have all been so helpful, and fingers crossed, it'll work. THANK YOU. This is such a wonderful site.

merlotgran Wed 08-Nov-23 12:19:35

I agree. Why oh why do we feel guilty if we’re happy at home doing things we enjoy?

The OP says she is content. Surely that’s really important as far as mental health is concerned?

I have friends who belong to so many groups and clubs they are out every day, sometimes only going home to grab a bite to eat before heading off out again. Just the thought of it makes me want to pull up the drawbridge.

I think I’ve reached a happy medium joining in activities two or three times a week as well as seeing my family but my rule now is never to participate in anything I have to talk myself in to.

I’m with the Home Girls! 😄😄

Georgesgran Wed 08-Nov-23 12:06:46

I agree with henetha if you are content and happy to be a home bird - go for it. I also like the reward system - I seem to get mine confused!! Coffee and cake first, then I CBA to do much else.
Actually, I like a balance and go out several times a week and I’m forcing myself to do more walking. It’s the MetroCentre for me later and I’ll park in the far corner of the carpark. Hopefully cross the first item off the Christmas list, and get the DDs Yankee candle advent calendars.
I saw a recommendation on GN to take a morning walk if possible in these dark months - gets a decent dose of VitD.

AGAA4 Wed 08-Nov-23 11:58:37

henetha I like your system of tasks and rewards. I have just cleaned the bathroom so will have a KitKat with my lunch.

Theexwife Wed 08-Nov-23 11:35:37

Why should you be doing more? Do whatever makes you happy.

henetha Wed 08-Nov-23 11:24:30

Yes, Trisher123. I share those feelings. Sometimes I have to give myself a good talking to in order to make myself go out, or do something positive, or wait until I get a sudden 'whim'. Lethargy is so comfortable at times. But I do make myself fight it.
You sound very content though. So maybe just be happy with that?
I try to have a system of tasks and rewards. For example, If I clean the oven or weed the garden, say, then I will allow myself a slice of cake with my cup of tea. Etc.

Shinamae Wed 08-Nov-23 11:17:24

I can quite easily sit on the sofa and watch daytime TV if I’m not at work so a couple of months ago I joined the gym and now go three times a week ..(I am 70)

AGAA4 Wed 08-Nov-23 11:15:50

I am much the same but I make myself go out for a walk most days and really enjoy it once I am out. My downsize home doesn't need a lot of cleaning so I'm quite happy getting on with my hobbies.
I think when you get into your 70s and you are well and feel content with life you are very lucky.

Trisher123 Wed 08-Nov-23 11:04:14

I'm 74, and lucky to have good health at the moment, but I totally lack motivation. I'm sure I'm not the only one, and wonder how others get over this. 'Can't be bothered' is my usual comment, but WHEN I do, I'm happy. I've always been a home 'girl', and I love watching tv, drinking coffee, but I know I should do more. I obviously keep the house clean, and bake, but I just can't be bothered to do much else. I AM content like this, that is the problem. Any tips please from you lovely people.