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(87 Posts)
Nanderin Sun 19-Nov-23 08:54:39

Anyone else not looking forward to Christmas .

polnan Tue 21-Nov-23 12:48:14

AnneWilko,,, I so admire you, not that I want to go to Spain, that you can do it alone! I have some friends here, (church) who go on holiday alone... wow! but then we are all different.

Cabbie21 Tue 21-Nov-23 13:15:17

This year for the first time ever, I am going to my son on Christmas Day, after church. DH would insist on spending the Day at home, so I have never spent the day with my son, and only twice with my daughter. We are all going to hers on Boxing Day. We all like board games, but are quite competitive!
I shall have my own car so I can go home when I am ready.

It is the week following that I don’t know what to do with. You never know who is free or who has family visiting or who has gone away. Or how many are home alone. None of my friends is widowed.

M0nica Tue 21-Nov-23 13:15:37

i think people should make the Christmas that they want and how they want it, whether it is Annewilko's choice, which would my idea of hell. or my family Christmas, changing only little over the years, which no doubt she would loathe.

Gundy Tue 21-Nov-23 14:03:43

hollysteers I love your expression of the full Monty, which is exactly what it takes to put on a festive occasion, almost killing one in the process.

At our age we have to pass the mantle, time for a rest (you’ve earned it!) and let new mums take over and create new traditions for the kids, family.

If they don’t want to do it, you can still enjoy and celebrate your own way small scale.

Personally I love Christmas and start the music early, shopping done early, I only do small luncheons with friends now and do see my family in another state (small kids involved) when weather conditions are good.

I do know many people do not like the holiday. There are many factors in life contributing to a lack of interest or depression. I have a heavy heart when I think about that. I’m not oblivious to the misery in life. I wish I could change it so everyone could feel as grateful as I do.

I’m never depressed at Christmas or Thanksgiving - I spent many holidays working those days/wknds in the hospital so my staff could enjoy time with their families. It made me feel good.
USA Gundy

Musicgirl Tue 21-Nov-23 14:21:54

I like Christmas and always have done, although the way I spend it has changed drastically over the years. When I was a child up until I was a young adult, Christmas was huge with the extended family. When I was married with young children, we would go to my parents’ home along with my sister and her family. The cousins are all of an age, as were my cousins and myself, and we had lovely times. As our families grew up, Christmas grew smaller and my parents, and latterly my widowed mother, took turns to go to my sister or myself and we have our own families. Always enjoyable but much lower key. This year, my mother is going to my sister for Christmas and coming to us for new year. I agree with everyone else, Exdancer, you should put your foot down asap. It is still November, so plenty of time for your family to make other arrangements, which should include you being invited to join in with your family. Finally, but most importantly for me, is my Christian faith and the real reason for celebrating.

Ellie Anne Tue 21-Nov-23 14:51:06

I’ve never liked it much but think year will be awful. Think we will be on our own. As we dont get on well and hardly speak it will not help be a good day.

Juicylucy Tue 21-Nov-23 15:00:03

I was so pleased to see 5 wks today ( 21st Nov) will be Boxing Day. Yes I have family, yes I’m seeing them, yes there are youngsters in the family. But, it’s a whole lot of expectations, pressure, money and fuss.
Can’t wait for the holiday adverts on TV and spring bulbs popping there heads through.

ruthiek Tue 21-Nov-23 15:02:28

Granny bags
So agree with you , that sneaky black dog has been snapping at my heels for a couple of weeks , csnt be doing with running around trying to find the perfect present that no one wants really !

Amalegra Tue 21-Nov-23 15:24:09

I absolutely love Christmas and look forward to it all year. Yes, it’s happy and sad, missing loved ones who are no longer here and my children being little and the sheer joy that brought. Now I have grandchildren and the delights of Christmas all over again! The lights, the decorations, the carol services and the planning of food, gifts, shopping trips and happy times, I love it all! The last few years have been challenging with my own ill health, my younger daughter’s problems and some unpleasant confrontations with her but I refuse to let past unpleasantness spoil the season for me. Each year I have renewed enthusiasm and hope that things will be (almost!) perfect!

M0nica Tue 21-Nov-23 15:34:49

ruthiek ask family members to provide present wish lists, then buy online and you will neither be running around nor buying gifts that are not wanted.

sandelf Tue 21-Nov-23 15:35:17

Well I do look forward to it, but just by way of it being a marker on the way to Spring. Those of us who are not thrilled by the extra stimulation of mixing with people we are normally happy not to meet, and eating and drinking in a forced way - must 'Keep Calm and Carry On' - it'll be over soon.

polnan Tue 21-Nov-23 15:36:24

Thank you Juicy Lucy for that encouragment, similarly I am counting the days to when the days start getting lighter, well certainly less dark

KKKKATIE Tue 21-Nov-23 16:04:19

Christmas is a very sad time for my family, my daughter in laws mother died last Christmas, my sister died the christmas before and my brother in law died last month so much heartache to cope with

polnan Tue 21-Nov-23 16:11:36


so understand..

Germanshepherdsmum Tue 21-Nov-23 16:50:00

Me too. It’s never been the same for me since my much loved Granny died suddenly and unexpectedly on 21 December 1966 - a long time ago I know. There always seem to be a lot of tragedies around Christmas time, or perhaps we just feel those that are not our personal tragedies all the more keenly then. Such as the four young lads that we heard today had been killed in a car crash. More families for whom Christmas will never be the same again.

Susieq62 Tue 21-Nov-23 17:26:41

I just get through it fir the sake of my daughter who loves it. It brings back memories of being torn between mum or dad. My best Christmas was 7 years ago when my partner and I had a picnic on the beach in the rain in Filey, drove home and went for a curry in the evening. Perfect!
My daughter likes to host but my partner’s three sons never include us , ask us what we are doing , check up on our well being so I am being selfish from now on.

Hels001 Tue 21-Nov-23 17:39:00

I find like many others Christmas a difficult time. It's an extremely emotional time of year I'd just like to hibernate until its all over.

Cossy Tue 21-Nov-23 18:00:03

I both love and hate Christmas in equal measures

polnan Tue 21-Nov-23 18:52:11

Susieq62.. wow, would love a Christmas on the beach at Filey with a loved one

as you say perfect, thanks for sharing that image!

Bamm Tue 21-Nov-23 19:23:33

I dread it. Too many people dead. One son and family overseas and the other ones wife has Alzheimer's.

crazyH Tue 21-Nov-23 19:46:20

KKKatie - so sorry. I have hated Christmas, ever since my divorce, but I go with the flow for the sake of the grandchildren. But there’s always fireworks , when the Xmas plans are discussed. I like the whole family to get together one evening during the Xmas break. I pay for the meal. But there’s one daughter-in-law, who always makes things difficult. Dates don’t suit, time don’t suit ….goes on and on. We’ll see how it goes 😂

Primrose53 Tue 21-Nov-23 20:08:18

So many reasons why Christmas is not a happy time for some people.

Bereavement, divorce, family fallouts, split families fighting over who can have the kids, money problems, hard work etc.

It seems like everyone is having a great family time and you’re not but some people hide it well. I have a lovely friend with a husband, 3 adult kids and 7 grandkids and she always posts beautiful pics of them all round her home for xmas day.

I asked her how there can be 15 people in one house and no disagreements and she owned up that one son in law makes nasty jibes at her but does so cleverly so nobody overhears. Her son is separated and has a new partner who she is not keen on but pretends to like for her son’s sake.

Things are not always as great as we imagine so just try and get through the day as best you can.

Jaxjacky Tue 21-Nov-23 20:20:23


ruthiek ask family members to provide present wish lists, then buy online and you will neither be running around nor buying gifts that are not wanted.

We’ve always done wish lists MOnica as my Mum and Dad did and now my children are continuing.
The mantle has been wrested from me this year Gundy by my daughter, I feel slightly bereft. It will, I’m sure be wonderful at her house.
I do think of those who are not as fortunate.

Iam64 Tue 21-Nov-23 20:26:18

I ‘took over’ family Christmas about 35 years ago when mum agreed cooking and catering for all of us was becoming a challenge.
My husband died in October last year, six months after a devastating diagnosis. Our daughters, their husbands and children wanted Christmas here, as it always had been. We all felt the need for some stability and things to continue even though his absence was huge and painful. Everyone shared food prep, cooking and clearing

This year, we are all gathering together at our oldest daughter’s home. Food prep and cost will be shared. I’m ready to relinquish the key role but, if mr I was still here, I’m sure we would be planning the Big Lunch happily together

Missiseff Tue 21-Nov-23 20:55:49