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Christmas

(87 Posts)
Nanderin Sun 19-Nov-23 08:54:39

Anyone else not looking forward to Christmas .

Washerwoman Mon 20-Nov-23 15:40:05

I get a bit grumpy this time of year at the thought of Xmas because it all seems a lot of extra work.However when it comes I do enjoy it- but am also relieved to get back to normal too !DD has hosted a couple of years but doesn't want to this year as she's just started a new job.So it's everyone at ours again.But this year there's a new baby and a new puppy-differen DCs !And I've given myself a talking to to remind myself how lucky we are to have a loving family who want to spend time with us,and for DH and I to still have each other.I'm sure it's a terribly sad time for some and thoughts go out to them.

lixy Mon 20-Nov-23 16:17:39

I love Christmas when there is time to get together and just have fun. I enjoy being busy and so am happy to cook etc, though we share the chores so no-one feels too exhausted.

However, I like Christmas to start on Dec 24th and finish on Jan 6th. I really don't like all the glittery tat everywhere from mid-October onwards as it raises expectations too high.

Last year I had to get some emergency milk on Boxing Day and was astonished to see that the store had been undecorated overnight and it was all back to normal.

M0nica Mon 20-Nov-23 16:38:30

I confess, I have a sucessor, ready, waiting and snapping at my heels.

DGD, 16, is already doing much of the Christmas day cooking the years DS and family have with DDiL's family.

Germanshepherdsmum Mon 20-Nov-23 16:44:47

ExDancer

Me.

I've 'made' Christmas for the family for 60+ years and I'm heartily sick of it. I'll be 85 this Christmas, and although the family promise to take over and 'do it all', they never actually do.

I can’t believe your family are so selfish ExDancer. I lost my dear Mum at 80 but had taken over from her 15 years earlier when I had my own family. She always did Christmas brilliantly and would gladly have carried on doing it but it’s just not fair to expect people to carry on regardless.

Daddima Mon 20-Nov-23 19:14:21

I think I did ask on here a few years ago how many people would be doing EXACTLY what they wanted at Christmas, and many people were not, being tied into long standing family obligations.
Once the children were grown up with families of their own, the Bodach and I headed for the sun, and I’m off next week until it’s all over, as I certainly wouldn’t be looking forward to it. I’d suggest that if anybody doesn’t feel they can make changes this year, they let everybody know on Boxing Day that that was their swansong, and next year they’d be doing things differently. When we told our family that we were going away, they were all delighted to stay in their own homes on Christmas Day, ‘ in pyjamas and knee deep in wrapping paper’, as one daughter in law put it. Plenty time for a get together another day.

Callistemon21 Mon 20-Nov-23 19:27:18

Germanshepherdsmum

ExDancer

Me.

I've 'made' Christmas for the family for 60+ years and I'm heartily sick of it. I'll be 85 this Christmas, and although the family promise to take over and 'do it all', they never actually do.

I can’t believe your family are so selfish ExDancer. I lost my dear Mum at 80 but had taken over from her 15 years earlier when I had my own family. She always did Christmas brilliantly and would gladly have carried on doing it but it’s just not fair to expect people to carry on regardless.

I really think ExDancer should sit in a chair with her feet up, a 🍷 or whatever tipple by her side, munching on her favourite foods, with a party hat and paper whistle
"The kitchen's the room down the hall" 🥳
Mine's a g&t and a turkey dinner. Please.

Scapa1 Mon 20-Nov-23 20:54:49

My family do a three yearly rotation one year my husband and I, next year my son and daughter in law’s and the next it is my daughter and her partner’s turn. Works out okay although last year I was tired after our turn! I also have a birthday that week so it all go!

Primrose53 Mon 20-Nov-23 21:16:53

I did enjoy Christmas when my kids were small but I don’t anymore. My Mum died in Dec 2020 and I miss her very much. I have never spent a Christmas anywhere other than my own home in 46 years!! My parents invited us when the kids were small but it would have meant carting bulky presents etc across the country so they came to me instead most years.

I do all the food shopping, cooking etc but the family prep all the veg and all the dishwashing afterwards. I like seeing my family enjoying their lunch. I only have 6 to feed this year.

We don’t have big families so we don’t have to buy many presents thank goodness. I don’t enjoy tramping around stores full of xmas tat either.

I don’t spend the day being sad but I am glad when it’s bedtime. Bah humbug!

Primrose53 Mon 20-Nov-23 21:34:54

Germanshepherdsmum

ExDancer

Me.

I've 'made' Christmas for the family for 60+ years and I'm heartily sick of it. I'll be 85 this Christmas, and although the family promise to take over and 'do it all', they never actually do.

I can’t believe your family are so selfish ExDancer. I lost my dear Mum at 80 but had taken over from her 15 years earlier when I had my own family. She always did Christmas brilliantly and would gladly have carried on doing it but it’s just not fair to expect people to carry on regardless.

Just how I felt Germanshepherdsmum.

My Mum spent 24 years of my life giving us lovely festive times and I know she was sad and homesick for most of those years as she came from a large, close family but she tried not to show it.

So I took over from then on and let Mum put her feet up but she always insisted on making her own mince pies and sausage rolls.

V3ra Mon 20-Nov-23 21:39:54

M0nica

I confess, I have a sucessor, ready, waiting and snapping at my heels.

DGD, 16, is already doing much of the Christmas day cooking the years DS and family have with DDiL's family.

M0nica my daughter always makes the Christmas cake, which used to be my Mum's role.
Last year my granddaughter, who was six, decorated it by herself. She's already drawn her design for this year!
I'm quite happy to let them get on with it 😁

M0nica Tue 21-Nov-23 09:07:43

V3ra yes, one needs to plan ahead. Give your grandaughter a few more years and she will be ready to take on the whole meal.

polnan Tue 21-Nov-23 11:11:43

ah Christmas,, well don`t we, haven`t we, brought it on ourselves

it was celebrated as the day Jesus was born,, now, it is spend, spend, spend, eat, eat, eat..... and for people living on their own, well not all, but most,, loneliness ....
thank goodness my dil hears me and has invited me for Christmas Day lunch, they will collect and return me! I am blessed, but the rest of the fortnights holiday???

knspol Tue 21-Nov-23 11:33:26

Agree with RosiesMaw so many reasons for so many of us not to look forward to Christmas. For me it will be the second time without DH. I've been invited again to DS's and this time might even make it beyond an hour but can't summon up any enthusiasm for the day. I'd prefer to be at home with my memories instead of feeling like a spare part. Trying to be jolly seems wrong and yet I don't want to put a dampner on the day for others. Guess it's difficult for a lot of us GN's.

Bella23 Tue 21-Nov-23 11:39:19

My mothers mantra was "It's just another day", and she certainly let you know what she felt.
I think she passed the attitude on to me. Which I acknowledge now looking back.

GrammarGrandma Tue 21-Nov-23 11:41:11

We enjoy Christmas! We downsized three years ago and don't have the big living room and long table that we used for so mant family Christmases, but don't mind. We were on our own on the day for the first time in 2016 after I reckon 44 Christmas Days and Dinners laid on by us. It was strangely peaceful and we made a good day of it. This year we are being hosted by DD and her partner, with his parents too but, if we hadn't been invited, we would still have found a way to make it special. I do NOT miss making the huge meal, with all its components.

CBBL Tue 21-Nov-23 11:50:31

For the second year running, I will spend Christmas alone. I don't "dread it" but I do feel sad.
I will look forward to going to Church on Christmas Day morning, and will come home to make my own lunch. I will look to see if there are any films/programmes I want to watch on TV, and will play music if not.
I have a half brother and an adopted sister, but they have children and Grandchildren of their own, as well as living some distance away from me. I do not have children of my own, but I do have a (step) granddaughter, who also has her own child now, and do not expect to hear from any of my remaining relatives.
If Christmas day is fine - I will go down to the sea front and watch the waves for a while. I always find that soothing!

sweetcakes Tue 21-Nov-23 11:53:41

Two years ago after a hectic Boxing day lunch I decided to hang up my pinny and say no more. In the January I told everyone and am quite happy to enjoy myself and go home to a tidy house with Mr. B and break open the chocolate and doze in the chair.

Nannashirlz Tue 21-Nov-23 11:57:40

Ooh I love Christmas always have except when in lockdown and I was told on my own for it. I didn’t even bother putting tree up but I’ve just moved house and this is my first Christmas near my youngest so going there for Christmas dinner and my youngest grandson is at the exciting age of Santa being 4 last year went to a restaurant with my oldest but I didn’t think it was very Christmas didn’t have the same feel. But Christmas tea I’m having with my neighbors in the 8 bungalows 3 are going away and the others play turns having other neighbours around we all take something so none will be alone on the day. They have done it last couple of years so they told me.

wicklowwinnie Tue 21-Nov-23 12:00:40

Christmas is for children.
There is too much sadness for me now.
Fortunately it's only one day.

polnan Tue 21-Nov-23 12:06:04

CBBL may I say I envy you... been on my own since just before covid announced.. and still I struggle living alone.. I get out, church, have friends, cat at home, so why can I not settle as you do? ho hum

wicklowwinnie,, whilst I agree with you saying Christmas is for children, aside of my Faith, .. but I do not feel it is for only one day.. for me it is a fornight of lockdown!

Hetty58 Tue 21-Nov-23 12:11:55

Christmas can be whatever you make it. I used to do the whole caboodle - for the family (especially the kids) every year - bloody hard work it was, too.

We adapt/change with the times, though, and have every right to. Now, I do a 'seasonal feast' (Xmas dinner) early in December - so the family can all meet here. Kids bring various dishes and I do the basic stuff.

On the day itself, I'm a guest at my daughter's house - and help out a bit, but mainly relax and play with the grandkids.

No tree, no cards, no big pressies - just a few little bits, bought online, along with a cash gift to parents. They're shopping anyway and can choose the right things 'from Granny' for the little ones.

We all deserve to enjoy Christmas, so some years we'll book a few tables and eat out instead - why not?

biglouis Tue 21-Nov-23 12:17:46

To me christmas will always be linked to the death of a much loved grandmother who died in november 1979. Since then I have never celebrated it, sent cards or bought gifts.

I have a business associate with a large warehouse. His wife loves hosting and he hates it. Over christmas and new year he tells his family he has to go into work and process orders. No one questions the fact that he says he must work. Its just something you do when you run your own business. He can do the work quickly then sits in his office with his feet up for several hours watching sport or reruns of old films. Just to get away from the family and the gangs of kids underfoot.

Hes in a bigger way of business than I am so I just close all my shops and put up an "out of office" bounceback until I choose to return. That will be around mid January.

Sawsage2 Tue 21-Nov-23 12:25:29

If I'm invited anywhere I just say 2 hours is my limit.

Annewilko Tue 21-Nov-23 12:27:02

I'm off to Spain solo for Christmas. I can't wait.

Urmstongran Tue 21-Nov-23 12:34:47

We did Christmas in Spain once. Different vibes but wonderful! No queuing for sprouts in heaving supermarkets (they are quiet right through, no silliness as here) and the sun was shining. It was lovely and warm too for walks along the paseo, looking at the sparkling Mediterranean and listening to to noisy little green parakeets chattering in the palm trees. I loved it because it was a ‘choice’. I wasn’t escaping anything or anyone. And we just relaxed, totally, seeing family upon our return.