Social query

Wish I had a friend as kind as you Aveline. 💖

An old friend of mine often remarked on how she dreaded Christmas although she was always invited to a nephew's family celebrations. She is quite a bit older than me and some years ago, I was still working at the time , I persuaded my husband that we should invite her to lunch on boxing Day. We were at our son'd house on Christmas Day. We also invited our elderly neighbour , with her approval, as since his wife died he had been lonely. He was a lovely man. So even though we had little free time we spent ages making sure the house looked lovely, we cooked a beautiful three course meal. On the morning of the lunch my friend phoned and said she didn't feel very well and would not be coming. We were disappointed but had a lovely meal with our neighbour. Some weeks later I met a mutual friend who told me that my old friend had told her that she could not be bothered to come to lunch with us on Boxing Day so she phoned and pretended to be ill. Needless to say she has never been invited since and the friendship between us is almost non-existent now. We have not fallen out but I only go to see her if she has an emergency.

My friend told me once when I was round there shortly after her DH had died that she wished people would've more specific about invitations. She said lots of people said, 'You must come for dinner or to see an exhibition or something' but not exactly when. It would've left to her to contact them to arrange it and that was a bit of a thought.
This thread's responses made me think about that too. I'd forgotten it. Might be relevant for others to think about too?

Be more specific. Must preview before posting.

If you know she has no partner, why not ask her round as before? I imagine she has much same interests as before her husband died.

Caleo read the whole thread.

Aveline

My friend told me once when I was round there shortly after her DH had died that she wished people would've more specific about invitations. She said lots of people said, 'You must come for dinner or to see an exhibition or something' but not exactly when. It would've left to her to contact them to arrange it and that was a bit of a thought.
This thread's responses made me think about that too. I'd forgotten it. Might be relevant for others to think about too?

Yes, we have been guilty of that, made worse by Covid lockdowns and a general reluctance to start socialising again.

Must do better.

kwest

An old friend of mine often remarked on how she dreaded Christmas although she was always invited to a nephew's family celebrations. She is quite a bit older than me and some years ago, I was still working at the time , I persuaded my husband that we should invite her to lunch on boxing Day. We were at our son'd house on Christmas Day. We also invited our elderly neighbour , with her approval, as since his wife died he had been lonely. He was a lovely man. So even though we had little free time we spent ages making sure the house looked lovely, we cooked a beautiful three course meal. On the morning of the lunch my friend phoned and said she didn't feel very well and would not be coming. We were disappointed but had a lovely meal with our neighbour. Some weeks later I met a mutual friend who told me that my old friend had told her that she could not be bothered to come to lunch with us on Boxing Day so she phoned and pretended to be ill. Needless to say she has never been invited since and the friendship between us is almost non-existent now. We have not fallen out but I only go to see her if she has an emergency.

Do you think that 'could not be bothered' might have meant she just didn't have the energy to socialise at what can be quite a pressured time of year? It's sad that she didn't feel able to tell you the truth, and also that your friendship has dwindled.