WANTED staff and punters Argy Bargy under new management

That might be a good idea Laura, as on top of everything else I think Maddy’s been neglecting the sprouts today.

The bar is all yours Delila, line up the cocktails while Doodle does her examinations, er I mean interviews.

I see there is a very long stretch of tartan on the floor, I’m off now in search of the previous wearer, I may be some time.

Ooh - this is more like it, my favourite dance! Quick change and I’ll be right there Admiral. And just you wait til you see my Argentinian Tango dress Charleygirl!

It's not so much the frock, Delilah.
It's the technicals.
Are you sure you are up for this?

Oh yes, ixion, no worries on that score, it’s my speciality. (I’m not sure that dancer is quite up to the “technicals” though). I’d gladly give lessons, but not tonight. Tonight the floor is mine, well mine and the Admirals - he’s surprisingly supple.

Oooh apologies I’ve been absent for a while - I got a bit tied up with the llamas. It’s all sorted now though and I’m off to Madam Pom Poms to get their Christmas outfits sorted out and ready for the panto

Well done brook. No mean feat getting them all rounded up.
If I wasn’t so tied up with the barman interviews (they will keep fighting back) I would come and help you.

Great idea Brook, panto night on Friday, all come dressed as any pantomime character.
I’ll come as WishyWashy, yes I’ve overheard the criticism of my management style. Am I bovvered? Do I look bovvered? Face? Bovvered?

Is Doodle still erm .. interviewing? I've had to revive some of the potential barmen. The last one came out shaking in a state of collapse mumbling 'please not again'.
brook the llamas smell divine. Have you been using Charleygirl's most expensive perfume on them?

🤫 AGA didn’t think she’d notice

The llama smell has been greatly improved by the L'Art & La Matiere perfumes. We can tell Charleygirl we bought a cheap bottle of Evening in Crewe station on the Dock Road.

Right, I’ve chosen the new barman. His name is Hamish. A fine upstanding chap. A big asset. And what’s more, he’s got his own sporran, and a fine specimen it is too.

Brook the llamas have never smelt so good …….apart from that scruffy one in the corner, he’s still pongy 😷……. Oh it’s the Admiral!

Hmm Hamish a big asset? A big ass tho, I’ll give you that.Bum enhancement you think? And why does he hang his sporran on it, should be on his frontage?

Do ya do lunches here? Just finished work and am starving!
I’d normally have a large vodka but not on an empty tum.

Oreo I can heat up a pasty I found in the freezer. Use by date February 1997 but should be ok. Or there are some mushrooms? growing in the cellar if you would prefer those

Ta, I’ll have the heated up pasty with the fried mushrooms, sounds tasty.Na, don’t worry about sell by dates, that’s for wimps.Just hurry it up tho as I haven’t got all day and the service here is snailpace.What? You serve fried snails as well?
Will pass on those.

Good choice Doodle. A big asset indeed. He does have a way with that cocktail shaker

1997 was a good year for pasties, it will be nicely matured now.
If you don’t eat it Oreo you could plate it up and try for the Turner prize.

Hamish is doing well at the bar. I've mentioned that the sporran should be at the front as he's wearing nothing else 😳

Spoil sport 😡

Well Hamish is popular the bar is heaving already, oh sorry no Oreo is heaving after that pasty.
Hamish has carted off boheminan to the cellar, very demanding customer needs seeing to and Thor has taken over the bar.
Free cockles and mussels with every pint of poteen tonight.

Hamish has reappeared looking the worse for wear, his bushy ginger beard is drooping and the sporran is still on backwards. Give him an apron Doodle at least until he perks up again

I found a transparent plastic one, will that do Laura? 😇

Cockles and mussels and poteen…….. have we got enough spittoons? 🤢