WANTED staff and punters Argy Bargy under new management

You could use that pin the whatsit on the donkey thing we had at your birthday party to cover strategic bits

I see Delila stuck her heel in the blow up hippo during her tango, who knew it was full of brassicalissimo, what a pong

I’m sorry you mentioned that Laura - you promised you wouldn’t. Not very girl code is it? Now I’m wondering if I was mistaken in thinking Charleygirl wanted to sabotage my routine. Believe it or not, she’s after the Admiral!

Anyway, it all turned out well for me, as I started the night with the Admiral (not my ideal), but ended it with the Captain. Wow…there’s a man!

Are we talking about the same Captain Delia ? 😮

Mine’s the French Captain, Gaspard. Why, do you have a prior claim Doodle?

Well I don’t think she meant Captain Peggle. His pasodoble wouldn’t pass a pessary. I think she means Captain Astaire who swept her off her two left feet

Oo la la, Captain Gaspard with the thickly moustache

And the tickly moustache

Did you say tickly moustache Laura?

Why is Hamish wearing one of Charleygirl’s dresses? The sailors are mobbing the bar. Kay Oss reigns in the cellar and ixion has gone missing, last seen trying to drop the anchor on the culture ship

I tried to say tickly moustache, but the French Captain predictively insisted it was thickly

I see you did, and you’re not wrong, he has a very tickly moustache. Very ooh la la indeed!

He has been strutting around in that uniform since he was told he was important, I think the doctor actually said impotent but I’m not brave enough to tell him.

🔔 ding a ling, quiet night tonight, I might just snuggle down with llama and a peg on my nose.
No Maddy or Ruby tonight so I’ll check the sprouts myself, 19 days to go.

Hmm I’m wondering if I’ve made a mistake about Hamish 🤔

Pssst. (No I'm not. Just trying to catch your attention..)
I'm out the back, by the bins. Meet you there.

Budge up Laura I’m too tired to walk home tonight. Bags I have Humphrey he’s quite cuddly.

Wot. By the bins. Who… what’s going on? Do I need camouflage?

Laura wake up. I can’t see anything out here it’s pitch black. Bring the torch 🔦

Disaster with the Brassicalissiscrub.
I am the colour of a lobster with the skin texture of an armadillo.
It was a bad move to extol its virtues as a body scrub😳.
Trust I will have faded by the morning.

Gulp! Er you don’t look that bad ixion ..I’m sure no one will notice. I could paint you with camomile to tone it down a bit.
Come on. I will sneak you in the back door and you can sleep in the snug with me and Laura. I’m sure it will have worn off by the morning 🤞🏽

Ixion, is there any loo roll left in the ladies, you look like an andrex armadillo

Sleep?😱.You must be kidding.
Prop me up behind the door, that'll be as good as it gets☹️.
What time do the staff come in?

We could use the brassicalissiscrub to clean the spitoons, all is not lost

I’m sure Brook will be in early to hose you down with the llamas. Is that coat hook strong enough to hold you overnight