WANTED staff and punters Argy Bargy under new management

Wot. By the bins. Who… what’s going on? Do I need camouflage?

Budge up Laura I’m too tired to walk home tonight. Bags I have Humphrey he’s quite cuddly.

Pssst. (No I'm not. Just trying to catch your attention..)
I'm out the back, by the bins. Meet you there.

Hmm I’m wondering if I’ve made a mistake about Hamish 🤔

🔔 ding a ling, quiet night tonight, I might just snuggle down with llama and a peg on my nose.
No Maddy or Ruby tonight so I’ll check the sprouts myself, 19 days to go.

He has been strutting around in that uniform since he was told he was important, I think the doctor actually said impotent but I’m not brave enough to tell him.

I see you did, and you’re not wrong, he has a very tickly moustache. Very ooh la la indeed!

I tried to say tickly moustache, but the French Captain predictively insisted it was thickly

Why is Hamish wearing one of Charleygirl’s dresses? The sailors are mobbing the bar. Kay Oss reigns in the cellar and ixion has gone missing, last seen trying to drop the anchor on the culture ship

Did you say tickly moustache Laura?

And the tickly moustache

Oo la la, Captain Gaspard with the thickly moustache

Well I don’t think she meant Captain Peggle. His pasodoble wouldn’t pass a pessary. I think she means Captain Astaire who swept her off her two left feet

Mine’s the French Captain, Gaspard. Why, do you have a prior claim Doodle?

Are we talking about the same Captain Delia ? 😮

I’m sorry you mentioned that Laura - you promised you wouldn’t. Not very girl code is it? Now I’m wondering if I was mistaken in thinking Charleygirl wanted to sabotage my routine. Believe it or not, she’s after the Admiral!

Anyway, it all turned out well for me, as I started the night with the Admiral (not my ideal), but ended it with the Captain. Wow…there’s a man!

I see Delila stuck her heel in the blow up hippo during her tango, who knew it was full of brassicalissimo, what a pong

You could use that pin the whatsit on the donkey thing we had at your birthday party to cover strategic bits

I found a transparent plastic one, will that do Laura? 😇

Cockles and mussels and poteen…….. have we got enough spittoons? 🤢

Hamish has reappeared looking the worse for wear, his bushy ginger beard is drooping and the sporran is still on backwards. Give him an apron Doodle at least until he perks up again

Well Hamish is popular the bar is heaving already, oh sorry no Oreo is heaving after that pasty.
Hamish has carted off boheminan to the cellar, very demanding customer needs seeing to and Thor has taken over the bar.
Free cockles and mussels with every pint of poteen tonight.

Spoil sport 😡

Hamish is doing well at the bar. I've mentioned that the sporran should be at the front as he's wearing nothing else 😳

1997 was a good year for pasties, it will be nicely matured now.
If you don’t eat it Oreo you could plate it up and try for the Turner prize.

Good choice Doodle. A big asset indeed. He does have a way with that cocktail shaker