WANTED staff and punters Argy Bargy under new management

Are we allowed to tout for business? Come in GSM bit of pro bono work required. Not pro bony ones myself, I like em with a bit of meat on

Calling Sago, well travelled and beautifully groomed might add a touch of class. Serendipity always a good laugh. Room for a cultured one with a little greyhound. Welcome one and all.

You do realise you are coming across as slightly, er, man mad, to put it politely?

Hospitality has suffered a lot since the pandemic. We need to be welcoming, warm, standing out from the rest of the hoi poloi along the stretch to the harbour.
You'll never get any new punters in at this rate. Let's Reach out to a new clientele.

Has your boat come in ixion?

No Doodle but you can have his scouse cousin Alorra Presha, his numbers on the back of the privy door

Laura er……have you got his phone number?

I missed last year’s shenanigans Brook, I was under Alotta Presha, gorgeous Turkish bloke. Hope you can control Alarma, feisty little madam.

Any barman who can survive being tested by you Doodle is hired.
Four at a time GG impressive

She won’t be with us for much longer if there’s a repeat of last years shinanagins at the Christmas party - she’s been warned

Have been known for testing a barman or four 🍷🥃🍹🍺🍸

Laura you seriously think Alarma would stand for that sort of nonsense. No she’s still with us (unfortunately 😩)

Well Laura, as I’m a long standing (until I’ve had a few) member, I do think I should be on the Barman recruitment team.

Best you don’t remember GrannyGravy. Took me a long time to untangle him from the harness.!

Hands up (iyswim) who wants to test the new barmen

Is Alarma still going, I thought I saw Lemon wearing Alarma, she said she’d got it from Florence and Fred whoever they are

Sexy Suzie/Sadie, is that the one next to HookerHetty, she caters in sparkly low cut rugby shirts

Ooh ladies, and I use the term loosely, it is good to see you.
Sorry to have kept you waiting ixion, we were busy interviewing some hunky barmen.
I think you tossed George back in to the ring GG and went I search of a younger model.

I’m in, still trying to remember what happened in the cellar with George Clooney

Blimey a cruise ship, we’ll have to keep MayHem away from the Admiral then - its been a long time ….

Urms not sure we’re providing those sort of services under the new management. 😮

brook if you’re fetching the llamas, look out for you know who. I’ve heard Alarma is as feisty as ever and just as demanding. Don’t know who she thinks she is, only sent the Manor’s butler over to tell me she wants a Fortnum & Mason hamper for Christmas or else!

Oooh, I've been camping it up on the doorstep for yonks waiting for you to reopen. Is Sexy Suzie/Sadie still open down the alley for nice clothes?
Must dash to see when the next boat's due in.
Rumour has it there's a Cruise ship due in. Some Culture job or the other🙄.

He does wear a toupee these days, dandruff circa 1964 when spitoons were last cleaned

Eurgh! Dandruff from t’ Admiral? Gawd. I thought he wore a toupee. Must give him a tug next time I see him....

Welcome aboard Brook, good luck herding those frisky llamas back down the alley, and for goodness sake put a cardy on, too cold for crop tops and hot pants