WANTED staff and punters Argy Bargy under new management

Ooh brook I am impressed. Did you get a stiff git for passing your course?

Scuse my absence over the last few days, I had to attend a llama welfare, training and behavioural course
Back now though and ready for action

We ordered some outfits for our coffee mornings which should have had Barista printed on them but I forgot the man at the printer's can't spell so we have Barrister on them instead. We've had some odd questions while serving coffee today and an even stranger clientele than usual.

Snot my fault 😡. It’s complicated. Press this, pull that, slide this …..and out comes …….a sausage. 😮

The typos are because Doodle is taking forever to fire up the machine.....☕

Doodle

Coffee, certainly. We have our new machine all set up and ready. Now if I can just remember which buttons to press……
Is that a latte, flat white, cappuccino, espresso or what? Actually when I’m doing it you get what you get, here it comes 😶‍🌫️

Coffee spelt backwards is eefoc.
Just know that I don't give eefoc until I've had my coffee!!

Small, medium or humongous?

Anyone for a sausage bap?

Coffee, certainly. We have our new machine all set up and ready. Now if I can just remember which buttons to press……
Is that a latte, flat white, cappuccino, espresso or what? Actually when I’m doing it you get what you get, here it comes 😶‍🌫️

It’s a bit early for ‘ likker’ so can I get a please? I like it to be quiet in the morning as I’ve usually got a raging hangover.

I thought the Admiral was a fruity number?

These would go down a storm in 'Kiddies' Korner' Pittcity.
Can you do other fruity numbers?

We can charge more if light refreshments are included 💰.

Oh Pittcity you are awful, but I like you. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

M&S …….is that the Massage and Spanking place that’s opened in the high street. I thought they got raided and shut down.

Oh please ixion do not mention petting corner with the Admiral around. He won’t be thinking of fluffy animals. However you could be onto a winning idea.

The llamas could keep the kiddies entertained with rides.
We could invest in a few toys, climbing frame from the hay bales. Slide from the planks of wood in the cellar. Perfect 😊

I've made some Gingerbread men to dip in the poteen.

Judging by what I've seen today, Doodle, everyone's at M and S.

How can we rival their pulling power?

Perhaps we could open a crêche for the kiddies at the weekend? You know, give the Mums and Dads a break to shop in peace and quiet, safe in the knowledge that little Lilly and Sebastian are being skilfully looked after. Then the grown ups could come back for a swift half festive tipple?

We have animals.
How about a Petting Corner?

Quiet in here tonight. Admiral snoring in the corner with May Hem and Dyna, they’ve obviously been hitting the mullet wine.
Thor and Hamish stocking the bar and no one else to be seen.
I’ve been to Bertie the Bashful Butchers for some ground meat to make out sausages with. He was so embarrassed to see me he dropped it all on the floor. Still a bit of sawdust in the mix won’t hurt. He’s getting me a big Turkey from the farm for Christmas and has promised to help me with my stuffing.

His toad in the hole isn’t much better.!

Not me thanks…..I’ve had his stuffing before…..it left a lot to be desired. 😮

Wrap a bit of bacon round it, much more satisfying.
The admiral is cooking tonight, he wants to know who wants stuffing,

Excuse me Oreo but I think you will find i was there at the front of the sausage queue. Mind you I have to agree it’s a bit more chipolata than full on sausage,
Thor most certainly did have a big hammer but after GG got her mitts on him, he’s a shadow of his former self.

Doodle

Ooh I love a long sausage 😍

Get in the queue sister!

Is that your new address AGAA4 ? You forgot the post code.

It’s a bit on the thin size tho😲
Length isn’t everything so they say.I could just do a couple of fat bangers and scrambled egg if it can be scraped off the ceiling.Who’s this Thor character btw? Does he have a big hammer by any chance?

And what you don’t see doesn’t bear close scrutiny!!