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God makes work for idle hands.

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Sago Thu 14-Dec-23 16:17:33

As a child my parents (a narc and an aggressive bully) would hit me if I was seen doing nothing!
“God makes work for idle hands” was one of my mothers favourite sayings, I was hit for watching Blue Peter, reading was indulgence, the only time I was allowed to do nothing was after Mass on a Sunday and for a couple of hours in the evening watching whatever my mother wanted to watch on television.

I am now 60, still working although not full time, we have a busy life, I cook everything from scratch and no longer have a cleaner.
Today I sat down at 2.30 and put the TV on, as soon as I saw my husbands car I immediately got up, turned off the TV and started to busy myself.

He would never comment or criticise but I just can’t do it unless I am in the house alone!

It is ridiculous but I have to train myself to just sit otherwise our retirement will be a nightmare!

Any suggestions?

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TillyTrotter Sun 17-Dec-23 17:35:03

Cambia ‘s advice is very good.
I hope you can find peace of mind Sago. Retirement can be a wonderful time if you can allow yourself some time to do what you want - or just nothing some days. 💐

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Anniel Sun 17-Dec-23 23:58:45

Sago, I was so sorry to learn of your traumatic childhood. I cannot imagine how daunting it must have been.
I wish you all the best for your life in future and I do hope you can start to relax and read and just day dream.

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Katie59 Mon 18-Dec-23 07:57:19

Having had 4 boys you do need to keep them busy or they will get into mischief, I was always very positive pointing them in the direction I wanted them to go.

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Nannina Mon 18-Dec-23 10:32:27

Times have changed and there’s now much more emphasis on mental health and mindfulness. I think everyone has to find their own balance of ‘work’ and play/rest. I’m retired and live on my own, I spread my housework over the week, have regular social activities but really enjoy my downtime most afternoons watching tv and knitting. I feel no guilt anymore- no one else is bothered so why should I beat myself up?

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FarTooYoungForThis Wed 20-Dec-23 19:49:58

Ah, ok Sago, now I understand about the aggression...

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