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God makes work for idle hands.

(30 Posts)
Chestnut Thu 14-Dec-23 16:50:31

So sorry to hear of your traumatic childhood. You definitely need to shed those feelings because it will do you no good to hang onto them. First, does your husband know about your childhood, specifically the things you mention? If not then maybe you need to tell him about it and how it makes you feel. Either way, you need to have a conversation so he knows where the land lies. That means when he sees you lounging around relaxing you BOTH know what is going on, which is that you are dealing with PTSD from your childhood. Once you've had a clear conversation about this there should be no need to keep explaining what you're doing because he will know that this lounging around is your therapy time. That's how I see it anyway. Hope your husband is an understanding person so you can make him understand.

Sago Thu 14-Dec-23 16:34:45

Bodach sorry you’re quite right!
I got it wrong! The devil makes work for idle hands!

Allsorts Thu 14-Dec-23 16:28:41

I was just like that Sago, sadly my husband didn’t live long enough to retire, we had such plans. When the time comes I dare say you will have lots of lovely plans to do things together.

Bodach Thu 14-Dec-23 16:26:52

I've never heard of that expression being framed as "God makes.." - but always as "The Devil makes work for idle hands". Which seems to me to be a great deal more logical. Anyway - perhaps you can use the fact that your mother always got this the wrong way round to help rid yourself of these bad memories and start putting your feet up as and when you wish.

Sago Thu 14-Dec-23 16:17:33

As a child my parents (a narc and an aggressive bully) would hit me if I was seen doing nothing!
“God makes work for idle hands” was one of my mothers favourite sayings, I was hit for watching Blue Peter, reading was indulgence, the only time I was allowed to do nothing was after Mass on a Sunday and for a couple of hours in the evening watching whatever my mother wanted to watch on television.

I am now 60, still working although not full time, we have a busy life, I cook everything from scratch and no longer have a cleaner.
Today I sat down at 2.30 and put the TV on, as soon as I saw my husbands car I immediately got up, turned off the TV and started to busy myself.

He would never comment or criticise but I just can’t do it unless I am in the house alone!

It is ridiculous but I have to train myself to just sit otherwise our retirement will be a nightmare!

Any suggestions?