Goodbye to my Annus Horribilis. How was your year, lol!?

I have nothing good to say about 2023. I lost my FIL, my favorite aunt and now my grandmother. My BIL did some unforgivable things to my husband after their fathers death, the stress of which put a major strain on my marriage.

I am still filled with optimism for the new year though, as I am each year.

DamaskRose and ayokunmi1, I'm pleased you appreciate the thread. You are more than welcome.

Thats for starting the thread @37Fairycakes

I’ve had a difficult year too. My husband had 2 bad strokes in 2022 so this year I’ve been his full time carer, we’ve had major work in the house so we can stay here with his mobility, which I’ve had to manage on my own. Just as the work was finishing at end of November I fell and broke my shoulder. Have to pay for daily care for my husband as I can’t do anything, and no one to look after me! All the plans I had for pre-Christmas fell apart. So a really bad end to a hard year.

My heart goes out to all of you who have suffered and are suffering. 2022 was a bad year for our family and me personally and 2023 was not much better. So I’m hoping for a better year and I appreciate the OP starting this thread and for her optimism. I don’t like lol anymore than many of you but no, I won’t castigate her for using it. Surely we can see what she meant however bad things are for us.

This thread has reminded me of the Queen, who was the first person I heard use the phrase Annus horribilis. I hadn’t been an enthusiast but her bravery in acknowledging what a tough time she had stayed with me. She had seemed such a contained private person but I felt I’d learned more about her to admire and like.
She also showed empathy, as she did in such a magnificent way during the pandemic. She got on with it, something people posting here are trying and succeeding in doing.

Jennyluck

Well the last few months of the year have been terrible for me.
Husband has Alzheimer’s, we’ve lived with it for several years , but this year has been awful. We have no life together anymore, half the time he doesn’t know who I am . We have rages , threats of violence. Constantly leaving to go home. Looking for his mom (deceased).
I just want to run away and escape, but I can’t.
So 2023 had been terrible, but 2024 looks no better at the moment.

That sounds truly awful. Have you looked up the criteria for CHC (NHS) funding? It might be well worth looking to see if you can get funded for extra help in the home or in care help. The Care to be Different website is very helpful and will tell you what Social Workers or Hospitals won't.

Annus horribilis here but I won't go into it. However following the unexpected death of DH which was the worst of the 2023 annus horribilis events several people I had know slightly for some time went to great lengths to be there for me and a warm friendship has grown. And - a few old friends that I had more or less lost touch with contacted me with condolences and we've met up or are planning to do so. My school friends with whom I've been in touch ever since we left school in 1966 organised a lunch - two of them travelled some distance to be there. My DDs have been wonderful in spite of their huge loss. So from a life changing event new friendships have grown, old ones re-kindled and alongside are my school friendships.

Jennyluck I’m so sorry you are going through this and sympathise as my husband had the same condition, but had a stroke before it became completely intolerable.
If you have threats of violence, it sounds to me as if your husband should have professional care in a nursing home. No one should have to live with that fear.
I wish you all the best.

So sorry to hear everyone's troubles. I was diagnosed with Parkinson's in 2020, with tremors weakness and night terrors. Recently diagnosed with breast cancer. Had a mastectomy early 2023, trying to be positive but I live alone and am very worried about the future. Best wishes to everyone facing problems.

Well the last few months of the year have been terrible for me.
Husband has Alzheimer’s, we’ve lived with it for several years , but this year has been awful. We have no life together anymore, half the time he doesn’t know who I am . We have rages , threats of violence. Constantly leaving to go home. Looking for his mom (deceased).
I just want to run away and escape, but I can’t.
So 2023 had been terrible, but 2024 looks no better at the moment.

So sorry to hear about all the awful things people went through last year. We too had the worst year ever. My husband started the year by getting an inguinal Hernia, which the GP's refused to examine. They sent him to a lymph clinic and the lady there sorted it all out, and he had emergency surgery, They did a CT scan prior to the surgery and discovered a Kidney tumour. This was removed and was cancerous, but he was given the all clear as the surgeon said he had removed it all. Two weeks later he developed a swelling at the top of his leg, which months later has still not been properly examined. he developed eye problems after being given Stemetil for "vertigo" and I had to stop the drug because of the side effects. I was hoping that when 2023 ended that things would improve, but New Years day he had to be taken to hospital by ambulance with a suspected stroke which turned out to be sepsis from a urinary tract infection. He is still in hospital and on gentamycin and vancomycin. Fingers crossed he will recover, but I am left wondering now what next! Last year was definitely an annus horribilis for us, and the new year hasn't had the best start.

How awful this year has been for so many. I really hope next year is better for you all. As for me, my daughter has been having treatment for breast cancer for most of last year. In February my husband decided the real love of his life was a woman living in California who he'd known as a teenager. It seemed it was mutual and in May when she came over on a family visit he left me for her (came back after a few days but the fall-out has lingered). And then just before Christmas I too was diagnosed with breast cancer. So - looks like a fairly crap 2024 for me, just when I'd been hoping for an improvement on '23.

I rarely agree with GSM however this time shes absolutely right.

The past year has been good in parts but has had some difficult and downright nasty bits. We are still trying to get a decent education for my autistic GD. The provision for this type of ‘diversity’ is practically non existent and makes an utter mockery of the government’s stated commitment to equality diversity and inclusion as its obviously not the fashionable type. Won’t go into detail as it’s too, too lengthy, frustrating and disappointing. Had some happy times with my family, my DS obtained his MSc in Physiotherapy after some wonderful results and has a new job to start next week in a really promising role-and I have a permanent physio around if I need one! I had a lovely week visiting ‘home’ in Cornwall where I stayed with my sister who still lives there. I have a beautiful new great nephew too and one of my daughters friends had a baby boy, another is at last pregnant through IVF after two ectopics. Another boy too. Have seen these two grow up so it is a joy to me! On a more sombre note, I was diagnosed with breast cancer at the end of the year and am waiting for my first appointment with my breast surgeon on the 25th to discuss treatment. Sounds similar to what my mum had, so I am optimistic that the outcome will be like hers and it will be completely curable with me living to a ripe old age as she did. Still uncomfortable, though I’m trying not to worry excessively. My first cataract op is due soon so that will be cheering, I hope, as my sight is so bad now. Ongoing input from my dentist (and the bills!) are not so nice. The worst that the year threw at me was my younger daughter’s referral for an endoscopy due to a great deal if blood being found after a FIT test ordered by her GP following stomach problems. Hopefully this will be in the next few weeks. I’ll play merry hell on her behalf if not as bowel/ stomach cancers run in both families. I know that there’s lots of other things this could indicate but I can’t help being afraid, especially after my own diagnosis. At the moment, I have to just keep on keeping on and trying not to be a doom monger to worry others. It’s hard though, I admit. I know this time will pass, it’s just the endless waiting I hate.

2023 just carried on from 22, nothing exciting.

23rd of March, I got the call I'd been hoping for, the hospital had a new kidney for me, possibly. 24 hours later it was all over and I was carrying Sidley the Kidley around in me. Then later in the year my care was transfered from Leicester to nearer home. That saved a few hundred miles a week.

December rounded the year out with good and bad news:-
Firstly I'm going to be a great grandad again to a little girl
Secondly I'm going to be a grandad again, to another little girl
And finally, just to kill the year off, my sister has been diagnosed with pancreatic
cancer, with not much hope.

Talk about ups and downs

There was laughter in the trenches I believe. Anyone remember M.A.S.H? Laughing is one way of dealing with things. A friend was in hospital with everything going wrong. I said Always look on the bright side. We just looked at each other and then fell about laughing.

Fairycakes, I took your title as a positive one and was not offended in the least. I hope you have a good year.
Nexus, what a lovely outlook in the fact of such adversity. I wish you all the best in the coming year.

I had a stressful year last year which included trying to sell my Mum's house, finding her a care home and my son telling us he had been told he had lymphoma. The latter was then retracted and his lump which had become uncomfortable removed but although they were biopsying it, we were told not to worry. I was really looking forward to a much easier new year.
Yesterday I spent the day trying to invest my Mum's house sale money and there are so many hoops to jump through before I can get it sorted.
This morning my son rang. The hospital had called him in and he has a very rare form of cancer. The consultant had only seen two cases in his career. We are yet to hear what the treatment will be but this particular lump was thought to be a fatty lump. Now our son has shown us his arms and he has loads of fatty lumps. Suddenly it looks like it won't be such a stressless year after all.

I don’t like the expression either and it’s rarely used now as much as it was - even as far back as the late 1990s - but I took at, as you said, that you were using it to make light at your own misfortune. I’m sorry you had such a bad year.

i need to go back to 2021 to explain 2023, had vulva cancer in 21 so in 22 had all groin lymph nodes removed and was being treated for fluid retention that was actually lymphedema, diagnosed by myself then a clinic in early 23, by the middle of 2023 i had to start using a walker or for long spells when walking was painful a wheelchair, had 2 colonoscopy's to see if my bowel cancer had returned and they might have to remove the half of my bowel that is left, then heart and lung tests as they thought the cancer may have got in there. i am not bothered about the cancers had 2 and if i get another then i will deal with it. so i am looking forward to 2024, i am still here, i am 60 and mother nature can throw what she likes at me, wishing everyone a brilliant 2024,

Thank you, everyone for love and positive messages - and thank you to those of you who posted about your own difficulties. It's not always easy to bare our souls. But I hope in doing so, it has helped in some small way.

A very sad time for so many GN's. The last 18 mths for me has been day after day of endurance and just trying to put one foot in front of the other. My very deepest sympathy to all those who have lost their other halves especially those whose loss is so recent.
I don't think Fairy cakes meant any harm but to many of us on this site words can seem very harsh when we're going through such heartache.

Ditto for 2023; 5 deaths in the family and narrowly avoided being in hospital for Christmas after being taken in as an emergency with pulmonary embolism and DVT. Just managed to get out about 11 days before Christmas.

Like many, I was hoping for a better New Year.Made an appointment at the opticians as I was finding that my glasses weren't as effective as they had been. Saw the optician this morning who discovered that one eye was having hemorrhages behind it. So no new glasses, a warning that I was borderline legal for driving and a referral to a consultant.
Lovely start to 2024. Not.

Hope reigns eternal. Fairycakes I hope you and a lot of others have a better 2024 than we did 2023
Sometimes all that is left is hope ,What we hope for is personal to us and how we achieve what we hope we all have to find the courage to do it in different ways.
Best wishes and luck for 2024 for all who are trying to be positive.