Goodbye to my Annus Horribilis. How was your year, lol!?

My year was awful. First My husband had bowel cancer and was having horrendous chemotherapy treatment. My sister's husband died in February, my brother in law ( deceased sister's husband) died in march. A friend's husband died in April. After chemotherapy treatment a scan showed husbands cancer had spread to liver. More chemo had. In July my husband told his cancer had spread to bones and nothing more could be done to treat it. You have several months to live he was told. 5 weeks later at beginning of September he died. I'm heartbroken.

So very sorry for anyone who has had a difficult time recently. It’s been a rough year for our family through an illness with a loved one. I personally have found it very upsetting as I’m a distance away. I think because I could not be physically closer it caused stress and anxiety and a lot of tears. Not just from me but my husband too as he worries about me.
After months of illness feeling dreadful I was diagnosed with COPD which is now being treated and stabilised thankfully. So yes I was glad to see the back of 2023 and hope this year is better.

I'm not sure that "LOL" is going to be appropriate for many of us particularly those who have experienced an annus horribilis

Hev61
I'm really sorry to hear of your loss. It must be difficult to bear. Things will get better in time. It's about taking one day at a time, and eventually you will turn a corner. Take good care of yourself.

RosiesMaw
I wasn't making light of anyone else's situation - just my own. I have had a terrible year but I'm trying to be hopeful. There is always a light at the end of the tunnel.

I would describe our year as similar to the Curate’s egg, mainly as a result of health problems - hoping for an improvement this year.

Redhead56
I hope that this year will be better for you. I'm glad to hear that you have received treatment for the COPD. My husband also had a close family member die unexpectedly, which really affected him. It's taken a while but he's beginning to slowly turn a corner - and so will you. We sometimes need to go through darkness but the light gradually returns. We just have to keep going.

I’ve also had an awful 2023. A family member was sectioned and his ex stopped access to his children as a result. It was a short incident caused by medication for something else entirely. Restoring contact has so far cost nearly £70k despite him doing nothing wrong. The system is beyond appalling. I can’t say anything in detail but I’m no fool and he is a gentle, kind and generous man and certainly not the person the other party says. They’ve been apart more than six years and still he is hounded by this person. My sister died suddenly in October. 2023 can do one.

For anyone going through a tough time I would say it's important to keep hope alive. That's what keeps us going.

Fairycakes

RosiesMaw
I wasn't making light of anyone else's situation - just my own. I have had a terrible year but I'm trying to be hopeful. There is always a light at the end of the tunnel.

There may be light at the end of the tunnel or it may be a long way off, but "laugh out loud" is singularly inappropriate for many - I would have been dreadfully hurt at a similar turn of phrase the Christmas after my DH died, for instance.
It's a horrid expression and too easily bandied about.
And before anybody tells me to lighten up, bereavement, serious illness diagnosis, miscarriage or Alzheimers are no laughing matter.

Thank you for your kind words Fairycakes.

This has been one of the worst years of my life it started in
January with the death of my youngest sister and ended two weeks ago with the death of my husband. In between I have lost 8 friends some from schooldays, in May I slipped in the shower damaged my hip and knee and crushed two vertebrae in my spine leaving me disabled and unable to walk and in constant pain. The private carer who looked after me fell in love and now lives in Barcelona and I just can’t find a decent replacement. My youngest son still refuses to have anything to do with me which is heartbreaking and I can’t see my little g.grandson. My elder sister who is 90 also has a fall a few weeks ago and has become very fragile and I dread what will become of her. So I am saying goodbye to 2023 go away please and I hope 2024 will be better for all of us. HAPPY NEW YEAR

I’m Not wanting a heated disagreement so early in this year and after an OP aimed at raising spirits. A word of support for RosiesMaws dislike of lol. I share her dislike of this turn of phrase. I’ve seen it used on this forum as a passive aggressive response.
It goes without saying, that isn’t the way Fairycakes was using it. I found 2023 the most difficult in my 74 years. My husband’s death in October 22 came 6 months after a devastating, unexpected diagnosis. I’m resilient but ‘light at the end of the tunnel’ - not a spot of it. I’m rebuilding my life as well as I can. I didn’t ’need’ these tough times, didn’t find it good for my soul and the only good that came from it was the continuing love from family and friends.

I'm very sorry for everyone who has had a bereavement or suffered a debilitating illness, I've had a few trials and tribulations but nothing major.

Whilst not wanting to pile in, I would just say there's something about "LOL" I dislike it, I thought that was personal to me, but obviously not.

My husband had a heart attack almost a year ago, and needed a lot of physical help which was exhausting. He made a slow but steady recovery until a slight chest infection which his weak heart was unable to fight and he died in April. Since then I have gradually been sorting and clearing his stuff, which is still ongoing but I have set myself a target date. But the more stuff I get rid of, the more I feel I am getting rid of him and that is hard.
I keep thinking he is away visiting his daughter and will be back soon, or I turn to tell him about something and he is not here. Coming to terms with my new reality is something I am learning.
Very soon I am going to book a couple of coach tours as I need to go on holiday. It is not easy to know what to do with my life as a ( nearly elderly) single person, but I am in reasonable health and have a loving, supportive family not far away, so I try to look positively into this new year.

I hadn't realised that 'lol' was offensive. I used it because I wanted to end my message on an optimistic note. I know that many of you will feel that there is no light at the end of the tunnel, and it may seem that way at present, and maybe some of you have a long way to go before you find it, but all things pass eventually. I would never make light of anyone else's situation, and my own has been much worse than I described here. My mental health problems were so severe I thought I was not going to survive. I have spent many months practically bed ridden, but it was hope that got me through it. There were many times where I lost hope and felt like giving up, but I kept searching for things to give me hope - even just the smallest thing. I can't pretend to understand everyone else's situation, but I do sympathise with anyone who is going through a tough time and would never wish to cause them pain.

Some people think that LOL means Lots of love. 😉

I'm sorry Fairycakes, I don't think it's necessarily offensive, a very personal dislike of mine first realised when I saw the lead singer of The Lost Prophets, jailed for abusing babies wearing t shirts displaying "LOL" that's when it occurred to me "I hate that acronym and have ever since. As I said I always assumed that was personal to me, in some contexts I find it crass and some people use it I know to emphasise something that is supposedly funny, but rarely is imo.

Not a personal attack on you and I wish you a better year for 2024. Once again commiserations to those who have suffered bereavement and pain in their lives.

Thank you, TerriBull. As far as I was aware it was meant to be positive, and I was laughing at my own misfortune. Still, I've learnt something and I definitely won't be using it again 🤔

I thought I had a bad end of year, since my sister died in September everything seems to have gone wrong.
But reading some of the above I realise that many have had it a lot worse than me. I do hope things get better for all of you.

Fairycakes, keep smiling. There is only one way out of a trough and it must be upwards. We learn from every bad period, these bad times make us stronger.

I am hoping that 2024 is a good year for you

No Fairycakes, all things do not pass eventually. And I too hate ‘lol’ in any context.

Goodness, in a strange way reading of how dreadful others have had it this year has made my own misery feel a little less awful, so thank you Fairycakes for the post. I know they say misery loves company but we can appreciate the difficulties others are enduring too. I don’t mind LOL at all, I don’t understand why anyone would take this tiny expression and make it what this post was about. It gave those of us having a hard time a chance to express it and maybe move on a bit. Certainly, getting my own troubles off my back has been a relief to me. I felt this year was worse for me than four years ago when my husband died, I’m not sure why but the grief has been worse this year than any previous year too, I think the finality has finally dawned on me maybe. 2024 is starting with my daughter’s wedding on Saturday, I’m hoping for better times ahead. Happy new year everyone.

The past is behind us: learn from it.

The present is here: live it.

The future is ahead: prepare for it.

Not my original, but spotted this just now. Seems right to me.