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Did you or didn't you? Sex before marriage!

(107 Posts)
Nana75 Sun 07-Jan-24 16:02:29

We waited until the engagement before we indulged!(easier for me than him!)I was "entitled" to being on the pill,being an engaged lady! Plus I definitely didn't want to risk a pregnancy! Also as an added "no no"I was brought up with the" nice girls didn't ".I was 21 at the time and" it"happened when we were on holiday.We were staying with his aunt and uncle.Separate rooms for DH(then)and I but when they left for work,himself visited and we did the deed.I was an "innocent" virgin.He,d had a teenage girlfriend before me whom he lost his to. She DIDN'T need a ring or the pill .I was told,much later no other method was used either.I insisted on "back up".I must have been thorough!!Can't say it was earthshattering but it was nice to be" close ".Anyone else have good or bad memories of their" first time "?

Delia22 Tue 09-Jan-24 15:21:59

Is this an exclusive bunfight or can anyone join in?!😀

Stella14 Tue 09-Jan-24 13:19:28

I can’t believe this question is being asked. I know it’s Gransnet, but we’re not 140-years-old 🙄

Esmay Tue 09-Jan-24 12:44:33

I think that discussing your sex life very much depends on your age and culture .

I have a lot of friends , who are much younger than me .
They aren't " smutty" about sex , but have occasionally asked my opinion about it .

Last week , a 27 year old male friend asked me if I thought that it would be OK to have sex as his partner has had a suspected miscarriage .
I advised him not to for now , until he has asked the obstetrician .

I think that they are just interested to know .

Friends of my own age (71) tend not to talk about it and never about their first experience , but might say " thank goodness he doesn't bother me anymore ! "

My Middle Eastern and Asian female friends talk about sex very frequently and never in male company in which they are demure !

Glorianny Tue 09-Jan-24 11:46:31

I think the info about contraception being available is interesting. Thank goodness for the sympathetic woman GP we had access to. The rest is nobody's business. I've never understood why anyone wants to share details about their sex life, even when we were teenagers and giggling about things we didn't really understand it wasn't something I did. I'm certainly not starting now.

Germanshepherdsmum Tue 09-Jan-24 11:33:41

It’s not putting others down, it’s saying that asking such a personal question and relaying your and your husband’s experiences is considered by many to be inappropriate. I don’t know why you don’t understand and respect that.

Marydoll Tue 09-Jan-24 11:26:28

Nana75

Kittycat

Kittylester. I agree with you- if you don’t like the post just ignore it! Scroll on!

Totally true!If you don't like the subject or the question.....jog on!!! So many "pure" Victorian "thinking" people on gransnet!Who would have thought? Grow up!!

Your comment is immature.
No pure Victorian thinking here. However, I have no interest in your sex life and it's none of your business what mine is like.
If you start a thread, you would be naive to expect everyone to think the same as you.

Smileless2012 Tue 09-Jan-24 11:22:53

You're right Nana that no one has to read posts or respond, but accusing those who don't like the subject matter of a thread you've started of Victorian thinking and/or needing to grow up ie attempting to put them down is "NASTY".

You could of course not read posts when it's clear they disagree with you and "just jog on".

Purplepixie Tue 09-Jan-24 11:18:25

Definitely a private matter and I certainly won’t be sharing.

Nana75 Tue 09-Jan-24 11:14:27

Germanshepherdsmum

Not wishing to be questioned about such a private matter does not equate to Victorian thinking or the need to grow up. I wonder if your husband or his ex have read your post yet?

So......just jog on then! No one HAS to read posts or leave a response! Some people just love to put others down! NASTY!

Germanshepherdsmum Tue 09-Jan-24 11:02:10

Not wishing to be questioned about such a private matter does not equate to Victorian thinking or the need to grow up. I wonder if your husband or his ex have read your post yet?

Nana75 Tue 09-Jan-24 10:57:56

Kittycat

Kittylester. I agree with you- if you don’t like the post just ignore it! Scroll on!

Totally true!If you don't like the subject or the question.....jog on!!! So many "pure" Victorian "thinking" people on gransnet!Who would have thought? Grow up!!

Sparklefizz Tue 09-Jan-24 10:54:04

My GP in 1968 would only give me the Pill a month before my wedding date and that was only "so that it would get into my system" apparently.

It never occurred to me to lie about the date . He didn't ask for proof. Ridiculous that a doctor would ask to see a wedding invitation!! shock

Lovetopaint037 Tue 09-Jan-24 10:16:42

It’s all about the times and how things have changed. I wasn’t quite 19 in 1960 when we married and this was quite normal.

Sara1954 Tue 09-Jan-24 10:14:12

What a difference a decade made, in the seventies it was all very easy, no questions asked.

GrannySomerset Tue 09-Jan-24 09:28:51

Like Franbern, we married in 1962 and could only use the Family Planning clinic on production of the wedding invitation. I often wondered what people did who didn’t have formal printed ones.

Franbern Tue 09-Jan-24 09:16:17

I got married in my early twenties in the early 1960's.
There was no legitimate way I was able to get the contraceptive pill, - back then in East London GP would only give this to a woman who had already birthed a child.

Nothing was given until the bans were called. Then (so three weeks prior to the wedding) we were able to go to a clinic for a cap.

Thank goodness such matters were much improved by the time my daughters all grew into adulthood!!!!!!

Kittycat Mon 08-Jan-24 22:51:40

Kittylester. I agree with you- if you don’t like the post just ignore it! Scroll on!

Gwyllt Mon 08-Jan-24 22:50:40

A woman should retain her mistery
Some say it makes her more interesting

Bella23 Mon 08-Jan-24 22:28:24

NotSpaghetti

Bella23

As a student in the late 60's/70's I knew of 50 shades of Palatinate Purple. I'm not saying I indulged nor would I want to know the details of anyone who did.

Do you mean Durham Uni or are you referring to the rampaging?

Just curious. grin

Both. When colleges were known as the" Whores on the hill"' or the" Virgins Retreat'" amongst others. I don't think life was less than colourful. I'm still not telling though.grin

NotSpaghetti Mon 08-Jan-24 14:07:31

Bella23

As a student in the late 60's/70's I knew of 50 shades of Palatinate Purple. I'm not saying I indulged nor would I want to know the details of anyone who did.

Do you mean Durham Uni or are you referring to the rampaging?

Just curious. grin

Norah Mon 08-Jan-24 14:07:09

Tenko

As someone who didn’t meet my husband until I was 29 , I find this a strange post.
And Katie59 most young women these days marry in their late twenties and thirties.

It is a strange post no matter your age at meeting your husband or being married. Age has nothing to do with ones morals or privacy.

I suspect the OP is doing some sort of research.

I divulge too much information apart from this question.

Our astonishingly boring home interior layout is on GN (daft I realized after typing), stored beans/rices are at risk somehow, I'm quite sure. grin

People become part of stupid news stories, no thank you.

silverlining48 Mon 08-Jan-24 14:04:02

Tenko In the 60 s and even 70 s, it was usual to marry early, many were still teenagers.

AreWeThereYet Mon 08-Jan-24 13:51:40

Katie59

Probably in the “70s” a lot of women had only had sex with the man they married. Now I guess there are very few, IMO having a lot of partners is bad partly for women’s emotional welfare but also men taking easy sex for granted.

Do you mean the 1870s?? I was an older teen then and I don't think any of my friends married as virgins 😅 I don't think most had one night stands but many had had a few serious relationships before marrying.

Tenko Mon 08-Jan-24 13:43:54

As someone who didn’t meet my husband until I was 29 , I find this a strange post.
And Katie59 most young women these days marry in their late twenties and thirties.

TerriT Mon 08-Jan-24 12:58:39

So much importance was set on sex for us born before the pill was widely available wasn’t it. We had to keep ourselves pure or as my m.in.law said, no boy would want us. Soiled goods in her view! It was control of women. The lads could be doing it with those ‘types of girls’ who would let them and were ‘no better than they should be’! What did that phrase arise from and indeed mean. If I had my time again I’d be at it like a rabbit not liveing like a nun because if we didn’t we’d ’be left on the shelf’ ! Another well used phrase of the times. Whatever was the fuss about!!!