A family member has been described as 'overbearing and opinionated'.

I think I tend to do that but with the idea that I was sharing similar experiences, not taking over. Oh dear 🫢

If people in her company are not comfortable with her behaviour let them deal with it themselves. We all have our little foibles if you get on with her in general then leave it be.

This.

RosiesMaw

I reckon she’s on GN and. I have my suspicions who she is too!

Absolutely

I guess you could say to your friends 'I know what she's like but please don't let it affect your friendship'.

If SIL lives alone she probably has quite a lonely existence and seizes any opportunity to 'get noticed' and have her say.

Don't let it bother you, just keep on being tolerant although once she starts perhaps someone could swiftly change the subject??

I am appreciating all the comments being made in response to my post. She has a husband, but he does not say a lot, although whether this is chicken and egg I don't know. He has never been very chatty, but certainly is less so now. I am not going to say anything to my SIL because she is not thick-skinned and I know would be very hurt indeed if I did. She is actually very kind in lots of ways and well-meaning so this is why people just let her behave the way she does. I think part of the problem is that she is someone who can be coped with in small doses and they have had quite an extended stay here.

Just yawn and then say " Oh so sorry as I'm not bored at all but so tired ... do it a few times and it will eventually sink in !

This is like my BIL!! He's the most annoying person ever, drives everyone mad, he ends up lecturing/ preaching BS to everyone if they don't respect his opinion or view, he also gets on his I pad to check things out. I try to avoid him, but it's hard, you can't have a normal conversation with him, i once said 'lovely sunny day isn't it' he then started telling how the sun and earth work together to make the seasons!! I'm 62!! not 12!! Yawn

My husband fact checks me all the time! It is annoying but he'll never change so I just ignore it.

I just realised that except for the google everything, you might be talking about me. I always thought I was helping as in trying to say, yes, I had an experience like that to show them I knew what they were talking about and therefore could emphasise with them. Never realised it could be seen as overbearing and opinionated. Oops. I will strive to do better.

Is it possible to turn off the broadband thingy for a short time when she is in full flow?

From a half facetious and total ignoramus re anything technical!

I was very surprised that your friends would be so unkind to actually say anything about your family member. It could be considered rude and inappropriate, unless someone has facilitated that kind of talk.
My advice would be to speak only favourably about your SIL, pointing out to these friends how kind she is. And I definitely wouldn’t say anything to her- she may lose all confidence to join in with people.
With regards to a conversation, aren’t they about sharing experiences, ideas and thoughts? Only being allowed to listen to a person’s contributions rather stilts them, doesn’t it?

I do know a few people like this . Try to avoid eye contact and if in a group try to change the subject or bring someone else in by asking them their opinion or view.

Anyway.. back to me!
So many people out there like this!

I don't Google but I am probably otherwise guilty. I thought I was empathising and in some way bonding through shared experience. I will try to work on that!
My sister did once say that people didn't want to hear other peoples' experiences (oops, missed that hint) but I thought it was rather funny as you can never get a word in edge ways as she waxes lyrical about her ailments. I think we must be just a funny family!

Chocolatelovinggran: I thought that it was compulsory that all families had to have at least one member like this ....

Yes. I tend to agree!

And re googling things, I think it’s generational PLUS sometimes it’s the only way to shut up the bossy and self opinionated one! 🙄

I suspect your culprit may have different mental wiring than most people. I'm sure she doesn't mean any ill intention. She's just trying to join in and be entertaining. As a person who talks too much, I have recently received a diagnosis of ADHD. I don't mind being interrupted and it's great if someone takes a facilitation role and directly asks another person for their view or experience. It really isn't arrogance. I just have a very speedy mind and lack of a filter. Sorry everyone

If she starts talking, ,all of you stop, immediately, to listen to her. Perfect silence from all of you. When she stops, you start talking again. Maybe, eventually, she will notice this.

sounds like my sister in law. We try to limit our contact with her

In your place I would tell her when you and she are alone that you find her behaviour rude when it occurs. I would also tell the friends who have complained to you about her manner that you did not care for it either, and tell them they are at liberty to tell her how rude she is being, as nothing you say has any effect on her.

It probably will not do any good, but at least your friends will know that you don't care for her behaviour either.

I wonder why the mentioned it to you, instead of dealing with it themselves? This seems rather unkind to me.

I bet she's actually trying, rather desperately,to be liked and respected for her knowledge.. I would just listen with compassion.. it might change the whole dynamic

I have a dear friend who recently turns any conversation into something to do with ailments, hospitals, gps or old age. It is so depressing. I now just very pointed change the subject to something very cheerful, she is getting the message but it is taking time!
Re iPad usage, a suggestion - can you pull out the plug on the wifi connection for a while?

^ I would also tell the friends who have complained to you about her manner that you did not care for it either, and tell them they are at liberty to tell her how rude she is being, as nothing you say has any effect on her.^

I think this is an awful idea. What you are effectively saying is that you have all sat around backbiting about her. It's one thing for one person to have a quiet word and the effect on them but to speak for everybody, that is mean.

icanhandthemback

^ I would also tell the friends who have complained to you about her manner that you did not care for it either, and tell them they are at liberty to tell her how rude she is being, as nothing you say has any effect on her.^

I think this is an awful idea. What you are effectively saying is that you have all sat around backbiting about her. It's one thing for one person to have a quiet word and the effect on them but to speak for everybody, that is mean.

Sorry, a space between my quotation mark and the "I" seems to have scuppered my italics!

icanhandthemback

^ I would also tell the friends who have complained to you about her manner that you did not care for it either, and tell them they are at liberty to tell her how rude she is being, as nothing you say has any effect on her.^

I think this is an awful idea. What you are effectively saying is that you have all sat around backbiting about her. It's one thing for one person to have a quiet word and the effect on them but to speak for everybody, that is mean.

I agree.. gossip is pretty unpleasant

I have a friend like this. She turns every conversation to herself, her experience and then she goes on to talk about her job and how she was an amazing teacher. So tedious, and self indulgent but it means people avoid her.