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A family member has been described as 'overbearing and opinionated'.

(56 Posts)
singingnutty Tue 09-Jan-24 17:40:02

My SIL has been staying with us over New Year and quite a few of our friends have spent some time with her. Several have commented on her in an uncomplimentary way. The problem is that she has to comment on everything that crops up in conversation and relates everything to herself. So if someone, for instance, talks about an event, someone they know, something they are interested in, she will answer by turning it round to something in her experience. This is ok sometimes, but not all the time. You also cannot tell her anything she does not already know. On the odd occasion this happens she gets her iPad out straight away to check the facts. This is very tiresome and I wish I could think of some way of letting her know that she is rubbing people up the wrong way - including me, of course. I am just having a bit of a moan, perhaps, because she will be here again in a couple of days. Any advice please?

fluttERBY123 Sun 14-Jan-24 21:26:03

Spot on, chocolatelovinggran. Yes, we've got one!

Newatthis Sun 14-Jan-24 23:38:44

There are a lot of responses advising you to leave it be. I think that if people are allowed to behave badly, then they will and will continue to do so. However, it’s not up to you to fight other peoples battles. If she is like this with you then call her out on it, you could by starting your sentence with ‘I’m not sure whether you’re aware but ….’ She sounds pretty thick skinned though. If it any consolation I think every family has one.

icanhandthemback Sun 14-Jan-24 23:55:55

She sounds pretty thick skinned though

Or she has a neurological problem like ADHD and can't actually help being as she is. Or maybe she is quite lonely and gets overly enthusiastic. Maybe she isn't thick skinned and will be completely wounded by the thought people see her this way.

grannyactivist Mon 15-Jan-24 01:12:09

Someone I know overcompensates for her insecurity by acting a bit like this in large groups. A few years ago she was at a baby shower and was a bit, “me, me, me” when the granny-to-be stopped her in mid-flow and said, very forcefully, “today is not about you”. There was a shocked silence and then people covered it up by chatting again, but the young woman who was silenced was mortified and told me later that she thought the public humiliation was very unkind.

Fortunately she has a lot of close friends who adore her and overlook this particular fault because they see her ‘in the round’.

cjham Mon 15-Jan-24 02:16:07

I understand, more power to you