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I made a mistake and feel so guilty

(136 Posts)
Brownhamster Wed 10-Jan-24 12:59:01

I went to town and bought a covid test kit yesterday.

Tested positive, in my car, then while in town nipped into a shop for milk and paracetamol. The shop was quiet and I kept my distance. An assistant I know asked how I was, so I told her why I was distancing.......I was not thinking clearly and she told me off!

Gundy Sun 14-Jan-24 10:53:58

Easy for me to say “Oh, just get over it.” But I do come from the perspective that (still) some people are not aware that you can be completely asymptomatic and still have Covid and be spreading it around!

So there are those people walking around not aware of what they’re doing and everyone reading this may or may not get Covid.

I think the asymptomatic people are the ones that should feel guilty. And you, my dear, may have learned to not go out till it passes the safe stage.
USA Gundy

Sparklefizz Sun 14-Jan-24 11:13:36

Marydoll I agree with everything you've said. I have been ill with M.E. for 35 years, which developed after I caught Glandular Fever, so it could be described as Long GF. It has spoilt my life. I am juggling a number of other conditions including asthma, and have had cancer twice during those years, and can't afford to add Long Covid to the list.

I know my cousin and some of my friends think I am over-cautious, but I am the one who would have to deal with it, not them.

If I had a sore throat, even if I tested for Covid and was negative, I wouldn't go and visit anyone, particularly someone in the late stages of pregnancy as mentioned in an earlier post. Other viruses can be damaging.

aonk Sun 14-Jan-24 11:45:16

How can an asymptomatic person feel guilty? You can’t test all the time. They do nothing wrong in carrying on with their lives. Of course this endangers vulnerable people but I don’t see a solution.

singingnutty Sun 14-Jan-24 15:35:21

I started with a cold a few weeks ago and when I got a high temperature DH said maybe I should do a test. It was positive and I stayed away from social things until I tested negative - only a few days in fact. I mentioned to someone that I had not sung in a concert because I had Covid and she was very rude and asked me why on earth had I tested and it was nothing to worry about now. This was very annoying, particularly as I probably got the Covid from someone in a singing session a few days before the 'cold' started, who tested positive a few days after. This person was quite poorly with it in fact, but had had no symptoms on the day of the session.

Sparklefizz Sun 14-Jan-24 16:27:47

Singing has always been designated a high risk activity re Covid (or any virus I expect) because of the projected breath.

fancythat Sun 14-Jan-24 16:37:22

Yes.
And orchestras which include wind instruments.

MayBee70 Sun 14-Jan-24 17:10:19

There is a test for flu. They say that, if you see a £20 note on the floor and walk over to it to pick it up you haven’t got flu. If you’ve got flu you can’t move. So many people say they have flu when they have a bad cold.

Marydoll Sun 14-Jan-24 20:37:10

I've had 'flu once in my life. I thought I was dying, couldn't lift my head off the pillow for days.
Your test is spot on, Maybee!

Iam64 Sun 14-Jan-24 20:50:00

I had glandular fever when I was a very fit 25 year old. I was ill for two years, stopped playing squash, running was exhausted most of the time. I’d say I never recovered my fitness, often felt exhausted, achey joints and muscles. Various blood tests found nothing wrong.
Long story short, I was diagnosed in my mid 40’s with psoriatic/rheumatoid inflammatory arthritis and several other auto immune conditions. The consultant dated it to the GF which attacked my immune system allowing these various health problems. He was very positive about the way I’d managed to live and work

Covid seems to be capable of attacking our immune systems. Long Covid is a serious issue

Grannybags Sun 14-Jan-24 21:04:23

MayBee70

There is a test for flu. They say that, if you see a £20 note on the floor and walk over to it to pick it up you haven’t got flu. If you’ve got flu you can’t move. So many people say they have flu when they have a bad cold.

Yes, my husband is one of them - so irritating!

I always say to him you're still walking about so you have a cold not flu!

Germanshepherdsmum Sun 14-Jan-24 21:08:00

Not dissimilar to your story Iam - I contracted glandular fever at just 17 and was ill for a long time. It left me with epilepsy, for which I must take medication for life, and I had to drop my A levels from 5 to 3, unable to study full time for some months. I narrowly escaped having my enlarged spleen removed. I too was diagnosed with arthritis at 21.

winterwhite Mon 15-Jan-24 07:57:17

The lack of official advice does get more extraordinary as time goes by. We're told that Covid numbers are rapidly increasing. We ask whether we should all take more protective measures. Silence. We ask whether this means that covid is now something we all have to learn to live with. Silence. I don't think the OP should be beating herself up about this.

Iam64 Mon 15-Jan-24 08:41:57

GSM - our experience must be seen by Consultants frequently. The rheumatologist who diagnosed my autoimmune conditions took a detailed family medical history. He identified genetic links. He was also clear that the joint and energy problems that became significant after a pregnancy, were seen frequently, pregnancy as a trigger.
To dismiss the potential for covid to wreak havoc seems unwise to say the least

Germanshepherdsmum Mon 15-Jan-24 08:47:58

Indeed Iam - Derek Draper is the most well known case but how many have been irreparably damaged by this disease which some shrug off so easily? I doubt any of them would wish to be the next Derek. Vaccination won’t prevent terrible outcomes for everyone.

silverlining48 Mon 15-Jan-24 09:07:55

I had glandular fever as a mature student which left me with hearing loss and tinnitus which in turn progressed to Menieres.
Had never considered a possible connection,
As for you brown hamster please don’t worry, you were in the shop only moments surely not enough to pass anything on.
I speak as someone whose Christmas was a spoiled by COVID but no idea how who or where I picked it up.

Marydoll Mon 15-Jan-24 09:13:03

Iam64 and GSM, I fear our concerns are falling on deaf ears. That is until someone experiences the serious consequences of catching Covid and becomes seriously ill.

I found some of the comments on this thread quite unsettling and in some cases uninformed.
However, it is my responsibility to stay safe, no-one else's.

RosiesMaw Mon 15-Jan-24 09:29:38

As for you brown hamster please don’t worry, you were in the shop only moments surely not enough to pass anything on

I think this needs to be borne in mind.
OP is clearly sensitive to the possible consequences and they (and most sensible people) are not denying the risks to the immune compromised.
My DH was on immunosuppressants after his transplant for 20 years during which time he had to use trains and buses(to get to hospital clinics every month among other reasons) live with me teaching in a secondary school with all the bugs on God’s earth circulating, (I got shingles and flu - he didn’t) go to church and receive communion, go to concerts and the theatre, fly - always a “soup” of airborne bugs- and as far as possible lead a normal life with scrupulous precautions- gloves on trains, buses, tubes on staircases in stations, lots of hand washing, avoiding those sneezing or coughing etc.
I am not belittling the risks to those who catch Covid but just saying that OP’s action was not something they need to beat themselves up about.

MayBee70 Mon 15-Jan-24 12:58:07

RosiesMaw

^As for you brown hamster please don’t worry, you were in the shop only moments surely not enough to pass anything on^

I think this needs to be borne in mind.
OP is clearly sensitive to the possible consequences and they (and most sensible people) are not denying the risks to the immune compromised.
My DH was on immunosuppressants after his transplant for 20 years during which time he had to use trains and buses(to get to hospital clinics every month among other reasons) live with me teaching in a secondary school with all the bugs on God’s earth circulating, (I got shingles and flu - he didn’t) go to church and receive communion, go to concerts and the theatre, fly - always a “soup” of airborne bugs- and as far as possible lead a normal life with scrupulous precautions- gloves on trains, buses, tubes on staircases in stations, lots of hand washing, avoiding those sneezing or coughing etc.
I am not belittling the risks to those who catch Covid but just saying that OP’s action was not something they need to beat themselves up about.

But, with respect, that was before covid, a virus that doctors said when it first appeared was not like any virus they’d ever seen before; it’s the unpredictability of it that’s so worrying. And the fact that it can permanently affect so many parts of the body.

RosiesMaw Mon 15-Jan-24 13:28:01

But, with respect, that was before covid, a virus that doctors said when it first appeared was not like any virus they’d ever seen before; it’s the unpredictability of it that’s so worrying. And the fact that it can permanently affect so many parts of the body
But not before Mexican Flu, Avian Flu, Swine Flu, Hong Kong Flu, Pneumonia, Epstein Barr, , Glandular Fever and many other viral infections.
I am not dismissing the repercussions of Covid, just saying that buying milk and paracetamol in an otherwise empty shop need not have occasioned the opprobrium OP has been subjected to from some quarters.

MayBee70 Mon 15-Jan-24 15:12:25

And the shopkeeper shouldn’t have been vilified on here by being angry that a someone she has just served ( because it’s her job: she’s sat on a seat throughout the day incapable of protecting herself from any viruses flying around). The customer had a choice: go into a shop knowing she had covid whereas the shop assistant didn’t. She was stuck there. And, imo she had every right to be angry. At the same time I hope the OP is ok because she was obviously a bit taken aback to realise she had covid, wasn’t thinking straight and regrets going into the shop now. When something like a pandemic happens it’s down to all of us as individuals to do everything we can to protect ourselves and protect others too. Even small acts can accumulatively make a huge difference. Even though I’m living a more normal life that I used to be, reading comments on here has made me realise I’m not going to go back to using public transport or going to the theatre or cinema again for a long time. I know too many people that have never recovered properly from covid and, as I feared, people with long covid are being treated in the same way as those with ME.

hollysteers Mon 15-Jan-24 16:29:23

MayBee70 It’s sad to read that you will not be using public transport, going to the cinema or theatre etc. again. What sort of life is that?
By all means be careful, but I really think we must try to live as normally as we can.

MayBee70 Mon 15-Jan-24 16:36:46

I can watch films at home and walk on the beach every day ( which I might not be able to do if, like a friend of mine, I get out of breath post covid). I’m not going to sit on a bus if there are people around me that knowingly have covid but aren’t bothered about passing it on. I’ll just drive everywhere instead.

Marydoll Mon 15-Jan-24 16:50:33

What is the definition of normal? Normality for one person may not be normality for another.

It is sad that many of us are like Maybee to a certain extent, but we have to do what we think will keep us safe. It doesn't mean that we have a miserable life, just a life which has been adapted to suit our needs.
Fortunately I still drive or my DH drives me, I shop at quiet times, steer clear of crowds because it is MY responsibility to keep myself safe.

I'm tired of being made to feel I am overreacting and making a fuss about nothing.
The critics on GN have absolutely no idea of posters' situations nor are their privy to their medical conditions.
Are my clinicians overreacting when they are still advising me to be vigilant and careful? I think not.

Germanshepherdsmum Mon 15-Jan-24 16:52:36

It’s a life in which you keep yourself as safe as you can Hollysteers. Out here in the sticks we have no public transport, cinema or theatre - but if we did I too would be avoiding all of them. It’s sad, but what I have read on here shows me that it’s up to me to keep myself safe because I can’t rely on anyone else to care. Fortunately, I have the countryside and, like MayBee, the beach and can happily entertain myself at home.

Marydoll Mon 15-Jan-24 16:56:24

I feel quite disheartened by some of the posts on here.