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I made a mistake and feel so guilty

(136 Posts)
Brownhamster Wed 10-Jan-24 12:59:01

I went to town and bought a covid test kit yesterday.

Tested positive, in my car, then while in town nipped into a shop for milk and paracetamol. The shop was quiet and I kept my distance. An assistant I know asked how I was, so I told her why I was distancing.......I was not thinking clearly and she told me off!

Curtaintwitcher Tue 16-Jan-24 07:00:02

You obviously caught it from someone else who was not being careful enough. We cannot completely isolate ourselves from others. There would be no outbreaks of anything if we did. Just concentrate on getting well again and stop beating yourself up about it.

Bonnybanko Tue 16-Jan-24 06:43:08

You’re not on your own in making a mistake it seems I too have made one,I’m only human not perfectly perfect🤫🤫🤫🤫

Galaxy Mon 15-Jan-24 18:10:37

It's of no business of mine what people do on an individual basis, but it is useful as a society for us to be better at managing and understanding risk. And of course that avoiding risk is a risk in itself. Particularly important for young people to take risks for example.

MayBee70 Mon 15-Jan-24 17:53:14

Galaxy

Risk and our perception of risk are interesting in itself. I am not negating anyones concerns, but I wonder what the statistics show in terms of risk of covid on a bus compared to risk of car accident. I am not talking about individuals on this thread but we as a species arent especially good at identifying risk.

I have a certain amount of control when I’m driving. We drive a lot on the A1 and often witness people overtaking dangerously. However, we watch out for them, slow down when we see it happen ( the idiots then think they’ve timed it well and are too stupid to realise they only got away with it because we slowed down). The only control I have over not sitting next to someone on a bus that knowingly has covid is to not get on the bus. I still look after my grandchildren and visit the family. I’ve dodged a bullet there several times when one of them has tested positive shortly afterwards. But I know they wouldn’t ask me to childmind if they suspected that one of them had covid and when any of them do have it they inform everyone they’ve been in contact with. I’ve got two holidays coming up in which my children and their families are going to stay with us. They might unknowingly infect me with covid but that’s a risk I’m prepared to take. But, until then I ‘m not going to do anything that might expose me to covid thereby ruining holidays that I’m looking forward to. .

rafichagran Mon 15-Jan-24 17:47:39

I feel sorry for the OP she went into the shop to get paracetamol, and something else, the nosy assistant asked if she was OK, the op was honest and said she had tested positive for covid, the assistant then proceeded to tell her off which is not her place, she is there to serve. I would have just said yes, paid for my goods and left. This assistant in my opinion was looking for a argument and to have a go at someone.

Teaching staff and hospital staff are told if they have covid so long as they don't have a temprature and they feel OK they can go in. So why are posters upset with the OP.

I would also add, that some people don't have husbsnds, partners or people to help them, what are they supposed to do starve or continue to be in pain?

AGAA4 Mon 15-Jan-24 17:13:43

When I was younger I used to dread people coming into work with a streaming cold. If I caught it it meant a severe asthma attack and a ride in an ambulance and days in hospital. Now steroids are given things are better.
I don't think times have changed much and people will still mix with others when they are ill and infectious if it's not going to affect them too much.
It's about assessing our own risk without curtailing our lives too much as we can't tell others not to mix with others when they have an infection.

rosie1959 Mon 15-Jan-24 17:08:26

Everything you do in life can be seen as a risk anything can happen anytime. I have never been in a major road accident despite travelling many miles but who knows what’s around the corner. I haven’t curtailed any form of normal life due to Covid risk for a very long time life’s too short and I could pick it up anywhere usually from family in my experience. But I am not CEV if I was I would be more wary and invest in proper masks for crowds. But I am also aware from my experience both times I had Covid I was not ill in the slightest so I test even if I feel a little off or tired. If positive I would stay away from people.

Marydoll Mon 15-Jan-24 17:07:30

It's not the risk of catching Covid, but the risk of the consequences, which is the problem.
This is a risk I am very aware of.

Germanshepherdsmum Mon 15-Jan-24 16:58:00

You’re not alone Marydoll. There’s a distinct feeling of ‘I’m all right Jack’.

Galaxy Mon 15-Jan-24 16:56:42

Risk and our perception of risk are interesting in itself. I am not negating anyones concerns, but I wonder what the statistics show in terms of risk of covid on a bus compared to risk of car accident. I am not talking about individuals on this thread but we as a species arent especially good at identifying risk.

Marydoll Mon 15-Jan-24 16:56:24

I feel quite disheartened by some of the posts on here.

Germanshepherdsmum Mon 15-Jan-24 16:52:36

It’s a life in which you keep yourself as safe as you can Hollysteers. Out here in the sticks we have no public transport, cinema or theatre - but if we did I too would be avoiding all of them. It’s sad, but what I have read on here shows me that it’s up to me to keep myself safe because I can’t rely on anyone else to care. Fortunately, I have the countryside and, like MayBee, the beach and can happily entertain myself at home.

Marydoll Mon 15-Jan-24 16:50:33

What is the definition of normal? Normality for one person may not be normality for another.

It is sad that many of us are like Maybee to a certain extent, but we have to do what we think will keep us safe. It doesn't mean that we have a miserable life, just a life which has been adapted to suit our needs.
Fortunately I still drive or my DH drives me, I shop at quiet times, steer clear of crowds because it is MY responsibility to keep myself safe.

I'm tired of being made to feel I am overreacting and making a fuss about nothing.
The critics on GN have absolutely no idea of posters' situations nor are their privy to their medical conditions.
Are my clinicians overreacting when they are still advising me to be vigilant and careful? I think not.

MayBee70 Mon 15-Jan-24 16:36:46

I can watch films at home and walk on the beach every day ( which I might not be able to do if, like a friend of mine, I get out of breath post covid). I’m not going to sit on a bus if there are people around me that knowingly have covid but aren’t bothered about passing it on. I’ll just drive everywhere instead.

hollysteers Mon 15-Jan-24 16:29:23

MayBee70 It’s sad to read that you will not be using public transport, going to the cinema or theatre etc. again. What sort of life is that?
By all means be careful, but I really think we must try to live as normally as we can.

MayBee70 Mon 15-Jan-24 15:12:25

And the shopkeeper shouldn’t have been vilified on here by being angry that a someone she has just served ( because it’s her job: she’s sat on a seat throughout the day incapable of protecting herself from any viruses flying around). The customer had a choice: go into a shop knowing she had covid whereas the shop assistant didn’t. She was stuck there. And, imo she had every right to be angry. At the same time I hope the OP is ok because she was obviously a bit taken aback to realise she had covid, wasn’t thinking straight and regrets going into the shop now. When something like a pandemic happens it’s down to all of us as individuals to do everything we can to protect ourselves and protect others too. Even small acts can accumulatively make a huge difference. Even though I’m living a more normal life that I used to be, reading comments on here has made me realise I’m not going to go back to using public transport or going to the theatre or cinema again for a long time. I know too many people that have never recovered properly from covid and, as I feared, people with long covid are being treated in the same way as those with ME.

RosiesMaw Mon 15-Jan-24 13:28:01

But, with respect, that was before covid, a virus that doctors said when it first appeared was not like any virus they’d ever seen before; it’s the unpredictability of it that’s so worrying. And the fact that it can permanently affect so many parts of the body
But not before Mexican Flu, Avian Flu, Swine Flu, Hong Kong Flu, Pneumonia, Epstein Barr, , Glandular Fever and many other viral infections.
I am not dismissing the repercussions of Covid, just saying that buying milk and paracetamol in an otherwise empty shop need not have occasioned the opprobrium OP has been subjected to from some quarters.

MayBee70 Mon 15-Jan-24 12:58:07

RosiesMaw

^As for you brown hamster please don’t worry, you were in the shop only moments surely not enough to pass anything on^

I think this needs to be borne in mind.
OP is clearly sensitive to the possible consequences and they (and most sensible people) are not denying the risks to the immune compromised.
My DH was on immunosuppressants after his transplant for 20 years during which time he had to use trains and buses(to get to hospital clinics every month among other reasons) live with me teaching in a secondary school with all the bugs on God’s earth circulating, (I got shingles and flu - he didn’t) go to church and receive communion, go to concerts and the theatre, fly - always a “soup” of airborne bugs- and as far as possible lead a normal life with scrupulous precautions- gloves on trains, buses, tubes on staircases in stations, lots of hand washing, avoiding those sneezing or coughing etc.
I am not belittling the risks to those who catch Covid but just saying that OP’s action was not something they need to beat themselves up about.

But, with respect, that was before covid, a virus that doctors said when it first appeared was not like any virus they’d ever seen before; it’s the unpredictability of it that’s so worrying. And the fact that it can permanently affect so many parts of the body.

RosiesMaw Mon 15-Jan-24 09:29:38

As for you brown hamster please don’t worry, you were in the shop only moments surely not enough to pass anything on

I think this needs to be borne in mind.
OP is clearly sensitive to the possible consequences and they (and most sensible people) are not denying the risks to the immune compromised.
My DH was on immunosuppressants after his transplant for 20 years during which time he had to use trains and buses(to get to hospital clinics every month among other reasons) live with me teaching in a secondary school with all the bugs on God’s earth circulating, (I got shingles and flu - he didn’t) go to church and receive communion, go to concerts and the theatre, fly - always a “soup” of airborne bugs- and as far as possible lead a normal life with scrupulous precautions- gloves on trains, buses, tubes on staircases in stations, lots of hand washing, avoiding those sneezing or coughing etc.
I am not belittling the risks to those who catch Covid but just saying that OP’s action was not something they need to beat themselves up about.

Marydoll Mon 15-Jan-24 09:13:03

Iam64 and GSM, I fear our concerns are falling on deaf ears. That is until someone experiences the serious consequences of catching Covid and becomes seriously ill.

I found some of the comments on this thread quite unsettling and in some cases uninformed.
However, it is my responsibility to stay safe, no-one else's.

silverlining48 Mon 15-Jan-24 09:07:55

I had glandular fever as a mature student which left me with hearing loss and tinnitus which in turn progressed to Menieres.
Had never considered a possible connection,
As for you brown hamster please don’t worry, you were in the shop only moments surely not enough to pass anything on.
I speak as someone whose Christmas was a spoiled by COVID but no idea how who or where I picked it up.

Germanshepherdsmum Mon 15-Jan-24 08:47:58

Indeed Iam - Derek Draper is the most well known case but how many have been irreparably damaged by this disease which some shrug off so easily? I doubt any of them would wish to be the next Derek. Vaccination won’t prevent terrible outcomes for everyone.

Iam64 Mon 15-Jan-24 08:41:57

GSM - our experience must be seen by Consultants frequently. The rheumatologist who diagnosed my autoimmune conditions took a detailed family medical history. He identified genetic links. He was also clear that the joint and energy problems that became significant after a pregnancy, were seen frequently, pregnancy as a trigger.
To dismiss the potential for covid to wreak havoc seems unwise to say the least

winterwhite Mon 15-Jan-24 07:57:17

The lack of official advice does get more extraordinary as time goes by. We're told that Covid numbers are rapidly increasing. We ask whether we should all take more protective measures. Silence. We ask whether this means that covid is now something we all have to learn to live with. Silence. I don't think the OP should be beating herself up about this.

Germanshepherdsmum Sun 14-Jan-24 21:08:00

Not dissimilar to your story Iam - I contracted glandular fever at just 17 and was ill for a long time. It left me with epilepsy, for which I must take medication for life, and I had to drop my A levels from 5 to 3, unable to study full time for some months. I narrowly escaped having my enlarged spleen removed. I too was diagnosed with arthritis at 21.