Actual names?

I actually can't wait to be a grandmother but love the trend these days of waiting a while and living a little

pinkquartz

Trouble is some of us will have rare and unusual names and live in small villages.
So it will never be an equal risk.

Ms Jones of London has it easy !

Mrs Jones in Wales even more so

In the early days of Gransnet, I revealed enough for someone to identify me and send me a very uncomplimentary PM. I changed my name to what you see now and didn't mention anything that could identify me.

Callistemon21

pinkquartz

Trouble is some of us will have rare and unusual names and live in small villages.
So it will never be an equal risk.

Ms Jones of London has it easy !

Mrs Jones in Wales even more so

Oh no!
You’ve outed me!

RosiesMaw

Callistemon21

pinkquartz

Trouble is some of us will have rare and unusual names and live in small villages.
So it will never be an equal risk.

Ms Jones of London has it easy !

Mrs Jones in Wales even more so

Oh no!
You’ve outed me!

I was just outing myself 😂😂😂 thinking CountessFosco would appreciate it!

I prefer the anonymity. There's just too many random crazy people out in the world that might be stalkers, etc.

I would probably go to a meet-up if it were available to me, but I'm too far away!

And yes, some people are snarky with their opinions; would they be nicer if we knew who they were? Perhaps, but I have a feeling it would be only moderately nicer.

Germanshepherdsmum

Having looked back, OP, I see that your bruising encounter took place in January 2022 - two years ago.

I don't think anyone was particularly rude except one post which was deleted (I don't remember it).

But CountessFosco was so upset she said she would never post again.

Have yet to encounter such vicious remarks [only from some people thank heavens] who hide behind pseudonyms knowing they are untraceable.
But a lesson has been learned here : any contribution will now cease - no more posting ever again.

I would suggest moving on, not letting posts from someone who could have been a troll or just having a bad day upset you. 🙂

I do know some posters first names, having met them in real life or their full name, because we have emailed. The Glesca Grannies are a great crowd and always so friendly..
However I am very careful who I trust now.

I thought you did use your real name, Marydoll? 🤔

I’ve posted long enough and with reference to the kind of area I live in etc to be ‘found’ if someone really wanted to. When I first joined I was recently retired and v cautious, much less so now.
Getting involved in any internet/fb activity carries some risks, it’s also interesting.
We are a cross section of society, our politics (broadly) can be easily identified, some of us are more easily offended than others. Anonymity is important imo. It may encourage some unpleasant grumpy folks to behave badly but generally this is a positive place to discuss all kinds of things

I think it’s something the OP just can’t move on from - she recently posted about it on Black Dog because she is still greatly troubled by it and by the way the UK has changed, in addition to family issues. The comments she received were part of the usual cut and thrust of GN, I have had far worse. I believe her real, deep-seated problem, is that she regrets moving back to the UK after many years’ absence and she can’t come to terms with the changes which have taken place- which include the advent of fora such as GN and people being far less polite than they once were. We have witnessed the gradual evolution, but to the OP it has come as a shock. But you can’t turn the clock back, and as I understand it moving back to where she lived for many years is not an option. So basically, the way life is now - including blunt posts on GN if she chooses to partake - is what it is.

she can’t come to terms with the changes which have taken place- which include the advent of fora such as GN and people being far less polite than they once were

There are Gransnetters who live in various countries of Europe, in the USA, Australia and New Zealand. As an online forum it is available to people in most of the world.

I don't think it's just the UK where people are more rude, in fact perhaps the UK is just catching up with other countries in lack of manners.
People are people, some polite, lovely, others not so.

Callistemon21

I thought you did use your real name, Marydoll? 🤔

Damn! I have been outed! 🤣

Marydoll

Callistemon21

I thought you did use your real name, Marydoll? 🤔

Damn! I have been outed! 🤣

Sorry, you sent me that photo and told me to keep 🤐

I really can't apologise enough 😟

Callistemon21

Marydoll

Callistemon21

I thought you did use your real name, Marydoll? 🤔

Damn! I have been outed! 🤣

Sorry, you sent me that photo and told me to keep 🤐

I really can't apologise enough 😟

You really can't trust anyone these days, Petunia.😉
However, I don't come fae Govan. I lied.🤣

GN has been my saviour over the years and have met some nice people at meetups. I have two good penfriends via GN and I doubt if we will ever meet because of distance.

Elegran I remember that instance and knowing the GN I tried unsuccessfully to help her find that person.

I joined GN to get advice about various subjects and also be able to give advice from my professional career. It has worked well 99% of the time.

Germanshepherdsmum

I think it’s something the OP just can’t move on from - she recently posted about it on Black Dog because she is still greatly troubled by it and by the way the UK has changed, in addition to family issues. The comments she received were part of the usual cut and thrust of GN, I have had far worse. I believe her real, deep-seated problem, is that she regrets moving back to the UK after many years’ absence and she can’t come to terms with the changes which have taken place- which include the advent of fora such as GN and people being far less polite than they once were. We have witnessed the gradual evolution, but to the OP it has come as a shock. But you can’t turn the clock back, and as I understand it moving back to where she lived for many years is not an option. So basically, the way life is now - including blunt posts on GN if she chooses to partake - is what it is.

Very insightful and correct.
"If we knew then what we know now"......comes to mind, but imo "toujours la politesse", costs nothing but means so much.

You can have opposing opinions and debate and disagreement without being nasty . If we all agreed with each other it be a dull world. But do it with dignity

My goodness, if the OP is distressed by the comments here please don't advise her to go to Mumsnet. I am on both, though much newer to GN. Mumsnet has become quite brutal and nasty.

I was reading some old threads on Mumsnet (around 2010) and the vibe was completely different. There was useful advice, quite a lot of humour and dare I say at the risk of sounding twee, a sense of sisterhood.

I think it's a significant indicator as to how the world has changed in that short time. It's rather depressing.

You can either grow a thicker skin or leave GN, CountessFosco. The choice is yours. I would rather stay here and accept the slings and arrows. Life is what it is and you can’t turn back the clock. You can but make the best of each day which is gifted to you.

There are times when I get upset by some posters on GN, ( I am quite sensitive) then I realise the problem is theirs not mine. A few posters I fear, feed on the distress of others and keep bashing away. I am sure if they were not anonymous they wouldn't attempt it. It is easy to be a keyboard warrior, especially when GNHQ rarely to respond to reports.
Fortunately, I do not have to be in their company in real life. I suspect they are quite unhappy people.

On balance, there are far more pleasant posters (as I have experienced recently) than nasties, IMO.

I've witnessed a huge number of kind, supportive posts here.

You will find the rude, dismissive and/or aggressive everywhere and I simply take the view that their tone says more about them than they may like to think!

Anonymity is a difficult one...I do wonder if the site should take some measures to take information but even if they did people could use a different email, VPN etc.

I have met several GN members and I now consider them as friends.

I have also made an exceptional pen pal who I hope to meet with one day.

If I am outed would I be upset? Probably not as I post as I would/do speak/act in the real world.

I like it as it is.I don't want to be quoted anywhere that's one of the things I appreciate about Gransnet.
What you read is what you would get in face to face with me.
I am a product of the area where I was brought up. Tell it straight, always have an answer. I have a banana-skin sense of humour that is not always appreciated.
Someone on here does know who I am and I appreciate our long catch-ups and friendship and the fact that it has never been told. I also now have a pen-friend abroad.
I miss Fanny who often kept me on the straight and narrow when I first joined as I often get the wrong end of the stick.
If it stays as it is I am happy,and I hope I am on Grans not Transnet as the auto check keeps telling me.