Do you always obey the rules or use common sense sometimes?

M0nica

This evening I was driving home in slow moving interminable traffic. Although I had right of way as a I craled up a long main road, I regularly let cars into the traffic from side roads.

There is absolutely no denying what the Highway Code says. I had priority on the main road and traffic in side roads had to wait for a safe gap.

I chose to ignore the rules and let people out of the side roads into the traffic on the main road. I was not alone, lots of peopl were doing that. Rule breaakers, everyone of us.

You'd be in real trouble on our local FB page for committing such a sin!

I see nothing wrong with doing that btw.

When working in a day centre with dementia clients we were told we could not stop them wandering off if they wanted to go. I insisted on going with one client as we couldn't persuade her to come back.

This evening I was driving home in slow moving interminable traffic. Although I had right of way as a I craled up a long main road, I regularly let cars into the traffic from side roads.

There is absolutely no denying what the Highway Code says. I had priority on the main road and traffic in side roads had to wait for a safe gap.

I chose to ignore the rules and let people out of the side roads into the traffic on the main road. I was not alone, lots of peopl were doing that. Rule breaakers, everyone of us.

Biglouis
You post reminded of when my youngest was about ten he broke his wrist and it was in plaster
Technically I was in the wrong because I didn’t write a letter to school saying please excuse him from sports
However I don’t think anyone would suggest he should participate in a rugby skills session
Fortunately he had sufficient sense to sit it out and apparently stared the teacher out according to a friends daughter who was in the same class and she told me all the girls felt sorry for him

biglouis I think I might have ‘ asked’ the facilitator to facilitate somewhere else.

My university arranged a residential course and participants had to fill out a form stating of they had any special dietary or other requirements. I stated that I had mobility restrictions.

First exercise the facilitator suggested we sit on the floor in a circle. I told her I would not be sitting on the floor as I was disabled with arthritis and went to fetch a chair. Another participant also declined to sit on the floor and suggested we all sit on chairs. Facilitator not very pleased. At this point she could have asked if anyone else had any special needs but failed to do so.

Later was an exercise which I considered unsafe for me and declined to do it. The facilitator ws again miffed. That evening was a business game which had all participants tearing around from one room to another. Having reached my physical limit I decided to sit out. The facilitator told me that she was not "comfortable" with my sitting it out. I had just finished an assertiveness course and told her "Well I appreciate that you may not be comfortable. However you are just going to have to be uncomfortable because I will be sitting this one out."

Later I asked her if she had read the forms of the various participants, including where I had explicitly stated that I had mobility issues. She replied that the information "was not made available to her". I know that if I was going to arrange activities for 15 people I would be finding out as early as possible if any of them had any medical conditions or additional needs which affected some of the activities I was proposing.

When I returned I wrote a report to the head of department stating that the course had made no provision for disabled attendees and I was given the impression that I was being a nuisance by not being able to complete some of the events. There was quite a hooha about it. Even back then universities were pretty hot on disability issues.

When I turned 70, I decided I was going to wear what I wanted, go where I wanted, and do what I wanted. Sensibly of course. It is working well……I am thinking now of saying what I want to, but with a little circumspection I think.

Lexisgranny
It easy to break rules if you think about who makes them
Liberate yourself snd give it a go

I am not a rule breaker, but sometimes I wish I was!

As you said this is GN on a cold wet January day
What did you expect
Does Betty actually exists ❓❓

A number of you as usual have invented complicated scenarios where I have been rude to Betty, led others astray and been very very naughty!
Nothing like this happened.4 people who were not wanting to stand in the cold for half an hour decided to sit and have a coffee.No tickets involved or insurance or anyone else put out.
But of course this is Gransnet!

The aristocratic lady, story brought another to mind. Off post, so I apologise. I was shopping in Fenwicks in London, late 1960s. An old lady, beautifully dress, wearing pearls and a fur coat etc came up to me. “Can you tell me the location of the ladies retiring room” she said. I explained that I didn’t work there. “Then you shouldn’t look as if you do” she said and stamped off!

The most crushing example I saw of a rule breaker being put in his place was when a young man tried to jump the queue in John Lewis flagship store in Oxford Rd. A very grand old lady was sitting by the counter being served. Back in those days they had seats for customers. The assistant was measuring out a huge amount of very expensive curtain fabric for her.

The young man walked to the front of the line (ignoring several people who were waiting) and addressed the assistant who was obviously busy. The assistant became flustered and stopped measuring the fabric. In a cut glass accent the lady said "Young man, this assistant is waiting upon me. Kindly wait for your turn." He stared at her, open mouthed, whereupon she banged her stick upon the floor and again ordered him to the back of the line. Shamefaced he slunk out of the department. It was like something out of Downton Abbey where the dowager countess dresses down a wayward servant.

Of course the assistant should have been professional, politely pointing out that she was occupied with a customer. She could suggested he seek another assistant or await his turn in the queue. That was how I trained all my staff when I worked in a public facing service. You should never leave off attending to one customer in order to deal with another unless its an absolute emergency. Like the aristocratic lady I have several time had to step in and point this out to a potential queue jumper or incompetent assistant.

I used to be a total rule follower until I met DH. He's terrible and always questions why he should/shouldn't do something. He says it's from his time in the army when he had to follow stupid orders from officers who had no experience in the field but acted if they knew it all. Often the men they were ordering about knew the order was wrong/dangerous but had to follow it. He's not a total rule breaker. If he can see the point then he'll keep the rule but if he can't see the point then he doesn't. I still panic at times if we cross the road on the red man even when there is no traffic about but then I had my traffic safety training from an officer called PC Barker who used to tell us (5 to 7 year olds) about horrendous accidents where children had their stomachs ripped open by car door handles (the days when they used to stick out) or their skulls crushed and their brains on the road. PC Barker was a lovely man and I remember him with affection but he pulled no punches when it came to road safety and was certainly effective. He is a legend among those of my age group who were taught by him. Imagine telling those stories to you children these days lol.

The majority of you have stated that you would never break the law.
If you had watched your friend suffer excruciating painful spasms through having MS would you help her by buying cannabis.
She did eventually get a pain implant.

'Follow the arrows'...is usually the sensible thing to do, but there are times when it is not appropriate or convenient.
If you're at a pelican crossing and there are no cars in sight, then it's perfectly reasonable to cross even when the red man is flashing. I do it myself and have seen a policeman do it.
Some people love to have control over others and make rules simply to give themselves that satisfaction.
Fashion is an area where I never follow rules. I don't need someone else telling me what to wear!
Don't be a sheep...take responsibility for yourself.

I married the ultimate rule follower and social policeman. I am the opposite preferring common sense. Our rows can be seismic!

On the whole, as an eldest child married to an eldest child, I am a responsible rule follower. I can generally see the need for rules which preserve safety and benefit the majority. I find people who break rules just for their own interest selfish and immature.

However, it is wise to audit the need for each rule and to update them when necessary. Rules need to change when circumstances do. Also, the desire for authority and control in others should be taken into consideration when deciding whether to obey rules. Once should also consider whether the rule maker have the capacity to make and enforce rules wisely.

Covid was a once in a lifetime example of how sudden rule making and overzealous enforcement in a situation where the level of knowledge rapidly altered, was both accidentally and deliberately manipulated by the powers that be.

During Covid and the Lockdowns my family rigidly stuck to all of the rules except for that mandating one hour of exercise (we were able to do solitary country walks to aid our health without risking that of others.) Gradually, we learned more about the transmission and seriousness of the virus from primary sources and assessed the degree of danger for ourselves and others. We acted accordingly.

We were actually quite shocked at the level of virtue signalling we saw amongst the middle classes where overt compliance (gel, masks etc.) were paraded while transmission of the disease was accelerated by the same people who defied the rule of six and spread Covid up and down the country rule busting parties and visits.

We were also shocked by the blatant use of the Nudge unit to bully people into complying with rules the government knew at the time were unnecessary.

Also an unwelcome aspect of the management of Covid was the revelation of contemporary WhatsApps from health leaders who displayed arrogance, ignorance and a contempt for the public and the important seriousness of their role.

What we had reinforced by this horrible time is that the individual needs skepticism and to be personally extremely well informed on all important topics to enable a personal response. After all, the inhabitants of Grenfell Tower obeyed the instruction to stay put and look where it got them.

Covid has not made me a rule flouter, but I see a reinforced need for personal knowledge and autonomy. The parallels between Covid and Climate Change activism in particular reveal the latter as a possibly real problem being hijacked by interest groups to the detriment of the majority.

I will stay rule compliant- but I will also think for myself.

i remember the kohlbergs stages of moral develpent story,A mother with a sick child, penniless steals the medicine to save the childs life,is that bending the rules? The nazis come for my children, do i lie? the list goes on. break the rules for the greater good, very simple.

I am sure Betty must be amused by all the controversy she has caused

I was being followed driving home one night with my teenage son. Absolutely certain as I went round a roundabout 3 times and round the block twice. Drove up a one way street the wrong way and across the pavement to lose them which worked. I could see they were waiting for me to come back out the one way street but luckily I knew the area and the pavement didn't have bollards. Think this was the only time I've broken the law but I was terrified. No mobile phones then too long ago.

JamesandJon33 So proud you, living dangerously. Fun, isn’t it? 😆

Life would be boring otherwise and I have always been a bit of a rebel.

JamesandJon33

Heady moment today. Hardly any cars in the car park so we drove straight across, ignoring the arrows .

😯

Oh you rebels!

Some rules it would be daft or dangerous to ignore, eg don't cross at a level crossing when the barrier is down. So I wouldn't go against anything dangerous to myself or others.
However, I have been known to use the gents loo (the type in small cafes etc), when it's obvious it's not in use, and there's a queue for the ladies'. That's an example of using common sense!