My daughter has died

Again, thank you for your responses. Your support has touched me deeply. I send my love to those who have also experienced the tragedy of loosing a beloved child in this way. There is no hierarchy to grief, but this is definitely the worst pain I have ever endured and my heart goes out to any other family experiencing the same. Perhaps a time will come where we won't feel the constant torment of being without our beloved children and can try to focus on the privilege of having them in our lives, if even for such a short time. I really hope so anyway.

I am so sad that you are going through this. I want to give you a big, warm hug. My only suggestion is to join a bereavement group for survivors, maybe through a doctor or hospital, church or survivors group. It helps so much to share your grief with people who have been through the same thing, knowing they understand your feelings and loss.
Bless you.

First of all, I'm so sorry and you have my sincere condolences.
Secondly, you could be writing about my life. My daughter left us in September last year after years of mental health problems. I don't have the answers, just wanted to let you know you're not alone. X

Have you thought of joining a "compassionate friends" group, tigerpaws?

They are specifically for bereaved parents, and everyone there understands the devastation.

Did anyone listen to James Doran on Desert island diacs yesterday.

His mother died of cancer when he was 16. He was obviously struggling after her death, when his father sat him down and told him, that he was not to see himself defined by his mothers death.

'He was trying to say that you can live a fulfilled, positive and happy life still, now that doesn't lessen the impact of losing mum or anything but I guess it was just dad giving us the okay to see happiness in our future.'

Perhaps this advice is too soon for Tigerpaws, but later youwill understand it.

I'm so very sorry Tigerpaws I hope you and your family find the support and strength you need to move forward.

Oh Tigerspaw I am so sorry to hear of your tragedy. All I can offer is a repeat of the wisdom of others in that it is very early days and that you need to accept that it will take time for you to learn to live with it, even if you can never adjust completely. Be kind to yourself in the meantime. Sending you warmest wishes.

Condolences for your loss my auntie son did the same thing also due to his mental health he had it for years. She had her 2 older daughters to lean on but he was her only son and her baby 7 months after he died she popped a jar of pills I was 16 at the time. Please talk to someone or join a group of other parents that have gone through it themselves.

I'm so really sorry to read about your loss. Sending (( hugs)). Is there any way you could reach out to get some support from Bereavement Group. A year is such a short time to heal but l think you might be ready to reach out now to others who could really know what you are going through. Isolation is so hard to cope with when grieving, but their are people out there who really want to help. Make that phone call tomorrow, they really want to help. x

So very very sorry. Love and hugs.

Thank you all so much for your kind messages. They mean so much to me. The kindness of strangers. Despite her struggles, my beautiful girl made many warm connections during her life and the support of her many friends in the early days was so comforting to me. But (naturally and thankfully) their lives have all moved on, whilst for me, the shock, horror, pain, guilt, regrets and sadness seem to get worse and worse. The loss of hope and optimism is so hard to cope with. I miss her so very much. Seeing the devastation her death has caused my other young adult children, and how bravely they are trying to cope, is breaking my heart. I know I need to find a way forward for myself and my family and I will contact some of the organisations that have been suggested when I find some energy. Thank you all again.

I have not lost a child to suicide but have lost a child many years ago. It gets easier with a lot of time ,you don’t get over it, your life grows around your grief, the grief stays the same.

SOBS is a good support or CRUSE does bereavement counselling in your own home . I am a therapist and worked for them for many years.

Please be kind to yourself losing a child is like losing a piece of yourself, it is like no other bereavement

I'm so sorry to read this . It must be excruciating .
I'm sure that you did your very best to help her .
And now the pain of grief ...
Sending you my condolences and prayers .

So desperately sorry Tigerpaws. It is a parent’s worst nightmare. I hope you gain some comfort from grans’ words and support here. Look after yourself and take one day at a time. 💐

So sorry to hear of your daughter's distress and death. The guilt, questions and self-doubt that follow a suicide compound the already overwhelming grief - I do know from personal experience. But you will gradually come to terms with yourself - give yourself permission to be kind to yourself and time will help. Take care.

Tigerpaws I don't think anyone can cope with such a terrible loss but downtoearth has shared her experience of how you can eventually live with it. Take good care of yourself while you are finding a way forward. 💐

Tigerpaws, I’m so sorry to hear you’ve lost your daughter. Have you come across this support group for people in your position. My sister and her husband had real ongoing support from this or a similar group after contacting them several years ago, and friendships which are still going strong to this day. slowgroup.co.uk

I wish you all the best for the future.

The death of a child are amongst the saddest of threads. I'm so, so sorry for your loss, it truly is the wrong order to lose a child for whatever reason. My husband's son died very suddenly over ten years ago, I have often thought "how do you bear it" He tells me that eventually he came to terms with it, the sense of loss and sadness is always there and of course anniversaries such as birthdays cut like a knife, but talking about it often proved cathartic.

I wish you peace and understanding, there are posters here who will know exactly what you are going through from their own bereavements.

Look after yourself Tigerpaws, your daughter is at peace. Only the ones who have suffered the same can know what it is like. I lost a good friend to the same but I can't imagine what it must be like to be one of your children.

Tigerpaws I also lost my daughter to suicide,we have just had the 20th anniversary.
There is always so much guilt,should,could you have done more.
My daughter took her own life after a violent attack by her partner who had abused her throughout their relationship.
It is early days for you,suicide leaves so many questions and no answers.
You will learn to live again,but in a different way,the hole in your life will still be there,you will learn to move round it.
I am sending you love and hopefully the strength to move forward one day at a time,I still do this,but more than anything I would love to give you the peace of mind you need to move forward

I am so sorry Tigerpaws. I’ve lost a son in tragic circumstances. Life will never be the same. These things can make us or break us. I suspect you are a better person with kindness and love for others but right now you need some kindness and love from us to help you. You have it in buckets. xxx

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I completely agree with Luckygirl.. sadly MH illness does mean that people are often in deep distress and can lose touch with reality and hope, despite the care and love they receive from others.. I think you perhaps take comfort from the knowledge that you supported and loved her as much as you were able, and now maybe try to find a support group where you can share your feelings of loss and pain..

I don't have any words of wisdom for you but wanted to say how sorry I an and send you gentle hug 🤗

So very sorry. You might find the work of Julia Samuels of some comfort. Also there is a support group aligned to her called Griefworks.