What is the funniest/strangest thing somebody has ever said to you?

Thank you everyone. This thread has given me many chuckles .

Years ago my friend and her husband moved into a new house. They had a house warming party for friends. A chap we know came with his girlfriend who all the ladies didn’t like as she was a terrible flirt with all the men.
She said to my friend as it’s a new house and new start I have bought you these as a gift, when friend opened the bag it was a set of Slimming World cookery books!!
Then later on she was eating pizza my friend had made and said to her, these are nearly as good as mine.
We still laugh about it 30 years later.

Dee1012

My uncle when describing a larger female relative stated quite loudly "well she certainly wouldn't travel well on soft ground"

Oh now that really made me chuckle! Thank you for sharing!
🤣

Oh grandtante! Awful faux pas but I have to admit that it did make me laugh!
😁
Things people blurt out eh?

Went to tell my father in law I was pregnant for the first time. He said “oh good now you can stop work and be a proper wife to my boy”

My DH never, ever gives compliments. However one day I was surprised and pleased when I pinned my long hair up and he said that I looked nice. However, the moment was spoilt when he followed it up with, "Yes, it suits your podgy face."

Ha ha Bella.

She thought DH should have chosen an Ava Gardiner look alike as she thought she was and was confronted with a tightless 60's teenager trying to look like Jean Shrimpton.
Battle lines were drawn for the rest of her life.

Bella23

On first meeting what was to become many years later my MIL greeted me with "Oh your not what I was expecting I thought you would have looked like me." I had to think twice and then realise what she meant.

I was thinking of this one Bella23...

😲 grandtante
And Aldom !

"How come your brothers are so good looking and you're so plain?" asked a school friend.
Later on my SisIL wondered why the girls in the family were all very plain but the boys were so handsome ...

🤔

Grandmabatty

I think I was too stunned at the effrontery!

I know the feeling!

Four months ago, my husband died. Last week, a dear but tactless friend said to me, "Don't you find being single a great saving?"

I was so flabbergasted, that I could not reply - probably just as well!

The worst of it was, she meant it as a kind, consoling remark!

I was puzzled once when a very nice woman I knew said, 'Of course it's alright for you Aveline, you've got opinions.' I didn't know what to sayin response. Don't we all have opinions?

When I was newly widowed I told a friend that my husband had died. Her response was, 'Never mind.'
I'm sure she meant well really, just didn't know what to say.

My mother didn't have a filter at times. When a friend showed her her new hat my mother said doubtfully ‘Does it suit you?’

One of my friends was being divorced by her husband. My mother greeted my friend’s boyfriend with ‘Oh, John, fancy you being a co-respondent, how hilarious!”

My MIL again,she was very dark looking I had blonde hair. She told me in company if she had a moustache like mine she would remove it, I couldn't stop myself and retorted if I had stubble on my lip and chin like her I would wear a paper bag I nearly said plastic but was banished to the cold parlour as punishment.

Grandmabatty

I've just remembered another one! A group of us were going out for the evening. We met up with a friend of a friend who was effusive in her compliments to one of us, how young and attractive she looked. She then turned to me and said, "Oh well 'Batty'. At least you have character." 😱😂

I think that is a compliment actually,even though she might not have meant it at the time.. looks fade but character just keeps growing and is far more interesting..

I was told at a party years ago that my dress was nice as it flattered me.
Also once started a thread on GN when another friend who was, at that time, very glamorous, told me I always looked neat and tidy.
I asked if that was being damned by faint praise.
I still see her regularly, she “hasn’t worn well”
Should I tell her?

A Woman acquaintance once said to me has anyone ever told you how stupid you look dressed like that. I replied no you are the first person to do so.

My father repeatedly told me to go to my room because I was neither useful nor ornamental. I gladly went.

Thanks for the laughs and I think we all deserve a hug for the nasty ones! 😘

NotSpaghetti

What did she mean, Bella23?

Jeremy Thorpe had been outed as gay when it was still not talked about. We use the expression "Don't know which way to turn" when we are all worked up. My FIL meant that poor woman was in a tiss he never thought of the sexual connotations about Mrs Thorpe's husband being gay like all the rest of us with smutty minds did..

My uncle when describing a larger female relative stated quite loudly "well she certainly wouldn't travel well on soft ground"

biglouis

When my father said there was no point in educating a girl because I was only going to "get married and have babies" I told him I intended never to have children.

He told me "You will have what god gives you in life" (yes - seriously)

I told him I would have what I took for myself. It earned me a walloping but I have never regretted the walloping and would say it again.

Sounds as if you had a pretty horrible father, Biglouis. So sympathies for that.

I invited a friend round to mine for the evening (it was a special birthday celebration), along with some other friends. She said "Well, we did have plans for that evening but we can always go somewhere nice another night!"

A neighbour said to me once 'I've always thought I was just that little bit better than everyone else.'