What is the funniest/strangest thing somebody has ever said to you?

I think that mother in law's specialise in saying odd things !
Now , I'm a mother in law I say nothing unless it's pleasant !

Some years ago , I tried Internet dating .
A guy contacted me and actually , he seemed perfect .
We spent a very long time just chatting on line .
And then , I finally met him .
He was unbelievably late - embarrassingly so .
He took a long hard look at me and pronounced disapprovingly ,
"What , you're not blonde ?! "

Sorry mother in laws not mother in law's !

I had a colleague who excelled in odd or downright rude comments. "Your hair looks nice- from the back." And "I love your trousers. I wouldn't have the nerve to wear them if I was your size." Not both to me, but a flavour of the kind of thing. And there were many more

There have been a few but I think the oddest one was this.
We were on our way home to the uk in our boat.
We were moored up at Avignon when a British couple made themselves known to us. It was obvious that they wanted to come onboard.
We invited them on. She walked into the wheelhouse and said
oh, aren’t you tidy and you didn’t know we were coming 🤷‍♀️

When my father said there was no point in educating a girl because I was only going to "get married and have babies" I told him I intended never to have children.

He told me "You will have what god gives you in life" (yes - seriously)

I told him I would have what I took for myself. It earned me a walloping but I have never regretted the walloping and would say it again.

Grandmabatty :
Someone that I knew used to do that regularly.
On one occasion , she invited me to a party and said ,
"This is Esmay , she used to be huge " and laughed as she demonstrated my girth with her hands .
The whole room fell into silence and I could feel the colour creeping up my neck and saw the look of sheer maliciousness and triumph on her face .

Next time , I saw her I let her chat on for ages before saying ,
" Oh dear , I meant to say , but didn't want to in front of people , but you've smudged your mascara , spit on a tissue and I'll wipe it for you ."

God forgive me .

My neighbour saw that my grandson has grown a beard, and said "oh, I can see he looks like his mum, now"

I went to talk to an elderly patient many years ago. She woke from a doze and looked up at me and said “My, what lovely dentures!” Nearly 50 years later I still have my own teeth…

On first meeting what was to become many years later my MIL greeted me with "Oh your not what I was expecting I thought you would have looked like me." I had to think twice and then realise what she meant.

I was chatting to the father of our local vet. He told me that he was concerned about his daughter as she was working so hard and had lost a lot of weight. He said, "Before she became a vet she was well-rounded like you."

Another time, a friend popped round briefly knowing I wouldn't be able to chat for long as I was going out. After a little while she looked at me and said, "I will go now as I know you have to get ready." The thing is, I WAS ready.

I took MIL out in my car. She said she felt cold so I told her I would turn on the heating. She replied “don’t do that dear, you’ll have such a big bill!”

Esmay that was spectacularly rude of her!

In the 1960s someone said to me 'You really looking like Paul McCartney. You both always look surprised'. Now I'm an avid Beatles fan but that wasn't the look I was going for!

Once I called in the next patient from the waiting room. She sat down and looked at me then said, 'Thank goodness it's you.' I smiled smugly thinking that my reputation must be good until she said, 'I didn't want one of those young ones.'

“I’ve always liked you in that coat”.

When a man in the street asked me if I was "Mr Paddy's daughter,because I was the double of her when he knew her" 25 years earlier.

My DH had an elderly aunt, always outspoken, and unaware of her affect on people. She once told me, that while I wasn't fat, I was well covered.....

Grandmabatty :
I think that she disliked me intensely because she thought I fancied her husband .
Yes , I liked him to make polite conversation with and that was that !

Here's another extraordinary conversation that I had with someone about 40 years ago .
One of the playgroup mothers was asking about a member of my family .

So I told her the sad truth : that the lady had had a massive brain tumour rendering her severely epileptic and she suffered from long blackouts and after many years she'd died .

She reflected ,
" Never mind , you've got your glam shoes on today ! "

My 10 year old neice and I out shopping on a half term.
I saw these totally over the top seriously expensive Christian Lacroix white jeans, had to try in.
After I put then on, I asked her what she thought. Hands on little hips she said "if you think your coming out with me with them on, your mistaken" the ladies in the dressing room fell about laughing, as I did..so that's a No then!
Out of the mouths of babes...

Esmay, is there something in the water where you live? Great memory and good stories.

Urmstongran

“I’ve always liked you in that coat”.

Someone said that to me the other day - about a jumper I've had for about 3 years but only worn perhaps 3 times.

An elderly man was reminiscing about the ‘beauty’ of my grandmother and her sisters, then finished by staring at me and remarking that “Pity, you don’t favour them at all”.

“Your hair looks great at the back,”

An argument with my father always ended the same way. He would say “be quiet, you know quite well that you are talking round shouldered”.

Watching kids in local baths. Teeenage laddo was also there.
Me ‘You not swimming then?’
He, looking surprised ‘I came on my bike!’

Standing in my Dads lounge putting my coat on and Dad said ‘Eeeh lass you do remind me of my Mother’ ‘Do I Dad?’ I said, ‘Yes’ he replied, ‘she was rotund too’ (I had to ask my DH what the word rotund meant when I got home)