Car seats and 2yr olds

One thing I find helps is to let the seat straps out to their full length before the child sits on the seat.
Put the straps loosely over their body, buckle up and then pull the straps snug until they're correctly fitted.
It's not such a claustrophobic wrestling match that way!

I've had parents on my drive trying to get their child in the car seat to go home for twenty minutes on occasion.
One lovely, but timid, dad phoned his wife at work to say he couldn't get the child to sit in the seat and what should he do? 🙄

On principle I don't interfere or contradict parents, but occasionally if I've seen they're struggling I've gone out and taken over, and told the parent it's ok to be the adult and be in charge. Car safety is not negotiable as others have said.

I've also talked firmly to the child in question the next day; they're not allowed to mess around in my car and they mustn't in Daddy's.
Some children kick off purely because they enjoy the drama. It makes them the centre of attention, especially if the journey isn't for their benefit eg taking another child to school as in the original post.

My grandson doesn't particularly dislike his car seat, he's simply very resistant to doing anything he's told to do in the morning when we are in a hurry - they can spot weakness!
I've solved it by travelling on the bus which is easier if a little slower.

M0nica

*The Exwife* You gave exactly the reply I would have given to the comments in the post above yours.

Give him a choice, either you get in the seat or don't go in the car........ but the whole point is that he doesn't WANT to go in the car! It's a no-brainer for him!

Luckygirl you have got hold of the wrong end of the stick. If a child is being put in a car they are going somewhere, often somewhere they want to go. If the person in charge says 'Fine, then we will not go swimming/to nursery/ or whatever. The child has a choice. if they do nt get in the car they do not go where they want to go.

If they do not want to go to where they are going, then deal with that problem first, then deal with the car seat problem.

Car safety should never have any rewards attached to it, no matter how well hidden. It is a matter of life and death. There are events and places that can work with negotiation but car seats, like other personal safety measures are. parents/grandparents are in charge and they should be capable of making a clear division between what is and is not negotiable with a child and make it clear to the child. If the can't, are they safe to be in charge of a small child.

My response was to the OP - they are not taking the toddler out to a jolly (swimming, play park) that he wants to go on and he is therefore motivated to co-operate (or respond to the threat of not going) - he does not want to go!!!

It is not a matter of car safety having rewards attached to it!! - you are missing the point. It is about ensuring car safety by dealing with the situation in a way that a toddler can understand and respond to, rather than setting up a fight!

Who said anything about fights?

I had some horrendous times in the car as a passenger with my DD SiL and two GC . The youngest a boy as a toddler played up from London to Dover when we were going on holiday. He screamed cried and kicked me ( I was next to him) . All because he hated being restrained in a car seat . He hated it and they tried everything from bribes , iPads to music. He is seven now still hates long car journeys but just plugs into his ipad with headphones and plays games. He’s then hot wired for hours after they arrive! The other GC has been carsick most of her life and hates taking the medication! There’s not really much room for me now the GC are bigger thank goodness!

My friends son's used to undo car seats and climb to the front from being very young, nightmare which norhing stopped. Her DG won't settle unless his IPad is strapped to the headrest in front, with Thomas The Tank Engine playing😃 might be worth a try

Lynnypie I told my children, as they went through this phase, that I simply wouldn't take them with me.... anywhere! Do you have someone you can leave the child with? Also, I laid it on thick about how dangerous it is to travel unrestrained. Everyone wears a seatbelt in the car! My children would insist that I strapped them in securely. They were petrified otherwise and would shout, "Mummy! I'm not strapped in!" while I was busy strapping one of the others in.

I bought my gd a board book called ‘all buckled up’ by Andrea Zimmerman. It made an impression on her, but not so much on her little brother! It’s well worth a try tho. Available on Amazon.

My GS aged 2 has learnt to unbuckle his car seat harness. If he does this again I will turn his seat around so he is facing backwards which he hates. DH struggled to get him into his car seat as well. Took him 10 minutes.

M0nica

You are the adult - and a lot bigger than him. Tell him to get into his seat and if he doesn't, put you arm round him and firmly shepherd him into the seat, offering no opportunities to break away or get difficult.

Once he gets the message that he needs to get into his seat and you will not accept any messing around or doing anything else,iy will all get easier.

Nice suggestion Monica but I swear my 2 year old GS is stronger than I am. No way could I wrestle with him. DH is stronger than I am but he struggles. This child can help lift 50ltr bag of compost into a car.

There must be some way.
How about a treat for whichever child gets into the car without a fuss?
I'm sure I have seen supernanny deal with this before, but I can't remember now what she did.

Bribery every time …..worked with my 2 year old granddaughter . Our problem was buses . We needed to be on them 2-4 times a day and I couldn’t be doing with it! So a tiny bag of cheesy things in my pocket did the trick . She wasn’t naughty or obstreperous , she was scared of them!
After about 2-3 weeks you could not keep her off the buses….she eventually had a fleet of different coloured buses and I spent hours playing with her and them . I even made bus garages out of shoe boxes. (good excuse for new shoes!)….the bribery did not turn her into a devious little so and so either. She’s perfectly well-rounded.
Your grandson is a baby at 2 …..find his weakness ….and bribe him.

If it becomes more funab0nd perhaps a competition than a struggle it can work.

Presumably older DGC has to sit in a booster seat?
"Who's going to be first to get into their seat?"
"Which arm first - left or right?"

Sing a song, be cheerful but firm.

funab0nd fun and a competition!

Has autocorrect gone potty?

Lots of praise and clapping!

Have you checked the seat? Could be uncomfortable for him. My granddaughter hated her seat and we finally worked it out that she didn’t like her feet dangling. A seat with a foot rest solved the problem. If getting him in the seat is the problem, you could buy one that swivels so you turn it to put the child in and then rotate into the correct positi9n.

I used to have a technique involving a scoop up, place gently into seat and then a pin down with my knee to make sure he remained bent in the middle to give me hands free to do up the straps. Sounds awful but done gently with practice it might work if you wear loose clothing and remain fairly athletic. Worth practicing without the child to make sure you are fit enough to do it risk free.

Is it possible to walk to school or take a bus, I’m sure after a few trips he will change his mind regarding car seat.

I’m so glad I don’t have a toddler to deal with. Teenagers instead…

youtu.be/2sorjfpOA0w?si=yAuotz8f0jojH2a-

Supernanny.

The car seems to be a real problem, from the vids I've just looked at.

Eleven year olds having tantrums, mums having to stop the car and cry at the side of the road.

Most examples are of older children, though, so not the same as a toddler.

Car sickness?

Trying to get the kids in the car sickness, I'd say.

Calipso

M0nica I completely agree, toddlers cannot and should not be allowed to manipulate this situation. I wonder if there is a difference in strategy between those who provide regular and ongoing care for their grandchildren and those who care for the children less regularly? Our family has broadly similar and sensible strategies for dealing with these stages of toddlerhood and I wouldn't dream of chucking a spanner in the works just because I'm a grandparent and see myself as entitled to do my own thing. Which I don't as the parents are doing a damn good job of raising their children.
Children feel much more secure at this age when rules are clear and consistent.

I think the different strategies depend not on how often you provide child-care, but rather on if you did it professionally, as well as bringing up your own bairns.

Car safety, kerb drill, playing with matches, running with scissors and a great number of other things are far too dangerous for any responsible adult to allow a child to do.

Bribing children - how could you ever think of doing this? Do you really want to see your beloved grandchildren turn into adults who accept bribes?

Car seats didn't exist when I was a toddler, but if they had and I had refused to do as I was told, or indeed refused to do what I was told in the car, I and,I suspect, most of you ladies of my age (72) had her bottom smacked!

Now I am not advocating returning to smacking children, but I am totally with Monica and those others who managed to make it clear to naughty children that there are some things they cannot get away with.

A certain tone of voice, kind but decided, and the look that clearly says, Behave, or else! usually works. It has for me since I started teaching when I was twenty-something.