Is this appropriate?

We know exactly what three of our four children earn because they recently discussed finances with us, for very pragmatic reasons to do with possible house purchases. The fourth, we haven’t a clue and wouldn’t dream of asking.

I think expecting an adult child to share their finances is an odd expectation for a parent to have.

I have no idea what my sons income is.
And would never dream of asking.
They don't know what my income is either. We are close but it's private business isn't it.

I've now lost both of my beloved parents but neither they nor either of my sisters nor my (adult) step-children have ever had the slightest clue how much I earned until my retirement in 2017.
None ever asked !
Nobody's business except my husband's and my own.

Nobodies business except her daughters, and a live in partner so they can budget properly.. Why do parents think they have The right to know the ins and outs of their families life..my 96yr old mother still does this not just about her children but our children and their children!! When given non committal answers or saying I don't know she gets huffy and says 'I told my mother everything'....well I'm pretty sure my gran was not particularly curious about 'everything' at all!!!

Unless they have some kind of joint finances (share a mortgage or a loan or some such thing) then it is absolutely none of her business. Does she want to know about her sex life too!

I think the growth of social media and multiple ways of always being in contact, has led many parents to think that they should continue to know absolutely everything about their adult children's lives. Including how much they earn

I’ve no idea how much anyone in our family earns, including our two sons and their wives. None of our business.

I have an idea of my AC's salaries but wouldn't ask or expect to be told. I am grateful that they have good jobs which they find enjoyably challenging.
I don't know what my parents earned either.

Georgesgran Somene else mentoned partner's income, so my post was in response.

DD started a new job a fortnight ago. She discussed the overall package with us and the horse trading that was taking place because they really wanted her but the initial value of the package offered was slightly less than she was already getting (unspecified). So I know all the adjustments that were made to reach a satisfactory deal, but how precisely how much money she gets, I really do not know - and didn't ask.

No. I’m sure I’d get a (gentle) flea in my ear if I did ask. I do know what my son earns because he told me without me asking in the course of bending my ear one day. He bends my ear a lot🙄!

No idea really except two are teachers and probably on a certain scale. Many years ago a SIL left a bank statement on the kitchen table that’s about it.

Three sons all doing well all achieving their goals in life and happy that’s all I need to know!

would would you expect to be told family's salary?

No, never. And don't care either.

My husband had a basic understanding of my brothers salary before retirement - but they're best friends and men talk, imo.

Aveline

I wouldn't dream of asking.

Neither would I Aveline.

I think knowing what DH earns is a given MOnica as I too paid all the bills and made savings and investments etc from our joint income, but the OP’s post is about an AC, which I think is a totally different kettle of fish.

I have always known how much DH earned, as he knew how much I earned, because we always considered any income we had as family income and, as he travelled a lot worldwide. I ran the family 'business' and often had pay his credit cards and other bills for him.

I wouldn't dream of asking my AC how much they earn - it is none of my business.

Did you tell her that it is none of her business?

I have no idea what my daughter earns and don’t feel that I need to know. My daughter is an adult and I respect her privacy. Perhaps if she was living at home with her mum and had agreed that the higher earner would pay a bigger percentage of the bills it might come into play. I cannot think of any other reason why anyone should know what her earnings are.

I don’t know what any of my family earn, although I could make a rough guess. It’s none of my business.

I suspect the friend would like to know so that she can tell others. Not something that is her prerogative either!

over involved mother

Someone's income is their own business, and possibly that of their partner depending on their financial arrangements. If anyone else needs to know they can tell them.

I haven't a clue what my DC earn and didn't know what DH earned either, all I know now is that I inherited his pension which is enough for me to live on.
Nosy mother has no right to be told about salary.

Just be glad they have got a job

Yes agree! none of her business.