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Is this appropriate?

(47 Posts)
Icandoit Sat 02-Mar-24 08:04:10

My friend's daughter has recently got a new job taking her to a high level of management. She is quite upset that her DD has not let her know her new salary that goes with this new job. I think information like that family or not is quite usual to be kept to themselves and I can't see why she is so upset not being told. Or would you expect to be told family's salary?

Grandmabatty Sat 02-Mar-24 08:06:00

I don't know my daughter's salary and wouldn't expect to. I think expecting to know that kind of financial information about her daughter isn't acceptable

Marydoll Sat 02-Mar-24 08:10:45

I would never expect to know nor ask my children's salaries. It's none of my business.

Auntieflo Sat 02-Mar-24 08:13:30

Why on earth would she expect to know her daughter's salary.
Just be very glad for her that she has such a good job.

BlueBelle Sat 02-Mar-24 08:14:52

I have no idea what any of my children or working grandchildren earn Not a clue and why should I ?
How strange none of her business keep her beak out

Astitchintime Sat 02-Mar-24 08:15:34

I wouldn't dream of asking my daughters what salary they were being paid. If they wanted me to know, then they'd tell me. It is their business and I would never consider myself so entitled to need to know.

M0nica Sat 02-Mar-24 08:19:46

I know the ball park my children's salaries are in, because I know roughly what jobs at their level in their industries pay, but I do not know how much they specifically earn - and I would never ask.

Anyway, nowadays, at the level her daughter is at, she will get a pay package, an individually negotiated balance of pay, pension contributions leave allowance etc etc.

My parents never knew how much I earned, nor did my adult children when I was working.

Georgesgran Sat 02-Mar-24 08:20:36

I haven’t a clue what either of my DDs earn. It seems enough to pay the bills with some left over for holidays and treats.
That’s all that matters to me and that they both like what they do!

Millie22 Sat 02-Mar-24 08:27:35

Hmm what?


lemsip Sat 02-Mar-24 08:30:26

surprising how many people start a thread with a problem of their friend..

Granmarderby10 Sat 02-Mar-24 08:30:59

Exactly my feelings Georgesgran. Knowing that they are successful and content with it is quite sufficient for me when I consider what some of their peers are going through😊

Cossy Sat 02-Mar-24 08:39:34

How bizarre! And very nosy!

NotSpaghetti Sat 02-Mar-24 09:29:10

I know what one of my daughters and one of my sons earn because they have told me and in the case of this particular daughter we have discussed it at length.

I also know how much one of my sons-in-law earns as he has also spoken to me about it.

I would never ask.
I would not disclose it to others.
I think they must think I have something to offer if they want to talk salaries with me.

I think it's most peculiar to think as the OP's friend does!

Aveline Sat 02-Mar-24 09:30:16

I wouldn't dream of asking.

BlueBelle Sat 02-Mar-24 09:36:36

Is this a new poster ( another with a friend)

25Avalon Sat 02-Mar-24 09:40:36

I only know because one is a teacher and the other was head hunted and wanted to discuss the best options with dh and myself. She made up her own mind. Otherwise I take the view it’s none of our business and I certainly wouldn’t dream of asking. Maybe friend wants to boast how much dd earns.

Susiewong65 Sat 02-Mar-24 09:40:55

What a person earns is their business alone and if they choose to share that’s up to them.

How odd that your friend is upset about not knowing what her daughter will be earning, I’m presuming this information has been shared with her before which is probably why she’s miffed and not being told the new salary.
What is she going to do with this information anyway, possibly show off about it in which case it’s best she doesn’t know!

Greenfinch Sat 02-Mar-24 09:45:48

I continue to be bemused when “new posters” begin threads and this question is bizarre. It is fairly obvious how posters will respond to it. I haven’t a clue what my children earn and am not the slightest bit interested.

annsixty Sat 02-Mar-24 09:49:57

I have a friend, yes really, and she joyfully tells me exactly how much her two high flying Sons earn and now her GS.
She is the most boastful person I know.
My two children are not high earners, that is all I know.

Athrawes Sat 02-Mar-24 09:53:09

It's none of her business. She should just be thankful her daughter has a job!

Icandoit Sat 02-Mar-24 09:53:37

I'm in agreement with those who think it is none of anyone else's business to know what salary is of anybody including family so glad that I am on the same lines as most of you. I also agree if you are included in such information it would be kept in confidence as in my opinion it is a very private matter. I just needed to clarify that whilst she is my friend I didn't want to offend her by saying she should not feel it's her right to know. I have so far not said anything to her and I am not going to, do not want to upset friendship. As for those who have thoughts of 'friend' not being friend, I can assure you she def is. Why would these people think any different. I am also not a newcomer either although do not post often. Very perplexing. Thanks for all the positive comments.

Iam64 Sat 02-Mar-24 09:59:24

None of her business. Is she wanting to add boasting about the salary to that about ‘the high level of management’

TerriBull Sat 02-Mar-24 10:07:30

Yes agree! none of her business.

Gwyllt Sat 02-Mar-24 10:08:33

Just be glad they have got a job

harrigran Sat 02-Mar-24 10:30:27

I haven't a clue what my DC earn and didn't know what DH earned either, all I know now is that I inherited his pension which is enough for me to live on.
Nosy mother has no right to be told about salary.