The thorny question of workplace 'collections'

While you do their share of the actual work.

I remember being asked to chip in a collection for a lady who was leaving to have a baby and I had only just started my job and didn't know her, at first I refused on that basis and was made to feel very guilty as I was told 'well it is for a good cause' and I gave in. This was in my younger years.

In one of my very first jobs it was a tradition to buy cream cakes for everybody in your office or department on your birthday.

I didn’t have much money then but I scraped enough together for the required 15 cream cakes.

Workplace collections - hated them.

Asked to contribute to xxx from 'Accounts' who was getting married - and whom I hardly ever saw.

Ridiculous.

And now collecting for baby showers?

Unless you are very close to your work colleagues - why? Why should you be involved in their personal anniversaries?

So it is possible GN is completely unrepresentative, but going by this the majority of people in a collection completely resent every moment of it

✋ not me though. I never minded contributing to collections as organised at my workplace. No pressure. Just a nice thing to do.

This thread has reminded me of a really embarrassing collection at work some years ago.

Someone came round with a collection and said they were collecting for flowers for X’s wife. One guy quipped “why, is she dead?” There was a very embarrassed silence from a crowd of us before the collector burst into tears and said “actually she is. She committed suicide a few days ago.” It was truly awful.

I remember working on a very busy ward with a french nurse who always insisted on having a full half hour lunch break, most people squeezed in 10 mins, when this person left nobody did a collection for a present..

I always paid in so must've been hundreds over the years but retired in covid so I got sweet fa !

I never minded putting in a contribution, but stopped when it became a demand for a 'minimum amount'. I had always varied my contribution depending on how well I knew the person.

When I retired I said that I really did not want a collection to be made, but one was and I was then pressured into coming up with suggestions for things that I wanted. I didn't want or need anything (downsizing at the time!) and suggested a couple of charities that a donation could be made to. This went down very badly indeed, and I left clutching assorted 'things', most of which were deposited at the charity shop on the way home. Ungrateful I suppose, but I felt steamrollered.

Same here with yearly contributions for retirements/leaving.
Understanding was that when you left there would be a gift commensurate with your time there. Some got quite big cheques. After 25 years of contributions it was decided to stop this. I retired after over 30 years in the same place and 40 years of teaching with nothing at all. It felt grim at the time.

We had a Saturday girl who received a present for her 18th birthday, another for her 21st, and a very generous gift when she left!
All that despite the fact that she was a lazy little madam, who would disappear and hide around corners at the first opportunity!
In my workplace it was very much a case of either your face fit, or it didn't!
Mine obviously didn't!

As admin in a school office it was always down to me to do the collection and purchasing of the gift, I would send an email about the collection a couple of times and never chase people individually, I would then send a subsequent email with scanned copies of the receipts and photos of the gifts, I always prided myself that the gifts were as appropriate as possible reflecting the staff members hobbies and interests. I have to say though when I retired although I knew my leaving gifts were of nice value they weren’t very well thought through (too small tee shirt with a slogan on it etc - not my style) but such is life

Over 35 years ago I was pregnant with my first child and went out at the Christmas with a group of friends from a group I belonged to. There were about 10-15 of us.
It was decided (by the loudest individual of the group that everyone 'looked up to') that we would have a whip round for the copious bottles of wine ordered for the table.
I refused as I was only drinking orange juice. This individual got rather unpleasant and said I shouldn't have come out with them if I wasn't prepared to pay my share.
This was back in the day when smoking was allowed inside premises (UK) so I asked if they would all contribute if a smoker bought a pack of cigarettes from behind the bar despite them not smoking.
None of them could see the similarity (or were too frightened to say so).
I wasn't ever asked out with them again.

When people were leaving in our workplace the company paid for a gift. Small collections had previously been seen as hurtful.

I worked in a bank, was given a wedding present, (sherry decanter and glasses, sadly never used, now in the loft) then a sheepskin rug two years later when I left to have a baby. (21 years old).

Returned to work when youngest child started school. Retired at 60 having contributed to numerous engagements, 18th’s, 21st’s, weddings, births, retirements, leavings.

By then at a different two person branch, part of a cluster of branches. My retirement present was a bit of gardening stuff, kneeler, seeds, etc. Am not a keen gardener btw.

I knew full well that most of my ‘colleagues’ had never met me, had no idea who I was, wouldn’t therefore contribute, so was unsurprised that the gift was a bit of a let down.

Would rather no one had bothered actually. Apologies if I sound ungrateful, but that’s how I felt.

Should add that the woman I actually worked with bought me a pair of earrings as her own personal gift.

They weren’t expensive, she was always hard up, but I really appreciated them.

I’m the one that used to collect for the girls at work. Then came baby and leaving gifts one girl left had over £100; in gifts then decided to come back after a month! That finished me let someone else do it! I retire next Christmas let’s see how I fare!,,

I think they should be banned, give by all means on your own terms, but in this day & age of hardship, people are scratching themselves to pay bills, food, etc- we had one woman off ill regularly, that in her words, she could have opened a florist shop, with all the flowers & plants she received 🤣

JdotJ

Over 35 years ago I was pregnant with my first child and went out at the Christmas with a group of friends from a group I belonged to. There were about 10-15 of us.
It was decided (by the loudest individual of the group that everyone 'looked up to') that we would have a whip round for the copious bottles of wine ordered for the table.
I refused as I was only drinking orange juice. This individual got rather unpleasant and said I shouldn't have come out with them if I wasn't prepared to pay my share.
This was back in the day when smoking was allowed inside premises (UK) so I asked if they would all contribute if a smoker bought a pack of cigarettes from behind the bar despite them not smoking.
None of them could see the similarity (or were too frightened to say so).
I wasn't ever asked out with them again.

I use to go out with a group of girls, we would go to Chinese for birthdays, set meal was £25.00 & set amount for a tip- but they would split the bill, I don’t drink but would have 1 soft drink, but these girls would be ordering double spirits so a £27 meal would end up costing me £57- A couple of girls & myself resented this, because we were single, house owners & couldn’t afford it!

Years ago the collections staff member came around armed with a staff list.
I liked her, she would say if you don't wish to contribute that's absolutely fine and that she didn't need to know the reasons.

Nowadays I'm choosey, if I don't know/like the person, I don't contribute.

I'm the collector for whip rounds for leavers / new babies, small team of all men. Had one guy leave on Friday after 8 years, bosses topped up the £200 whip from 10 staff to £400 - Amazon vouchers. I didn't ask the two guys that started this year (no face-to-face, bcc email so others couldn't see responses). Latest new baby (Nov 23) we got £250 for Amazon vouchers.

Had the absolute worst time during Covid, with me being vulnerable and not allowed into the office. Wife of one of the senior staff had a baby Summer 2020 and I couldn't organise a whip - the Directors covered the full thing, with Vouchers, but the senior staff guy is so resentful and won't contribute to anyone else's new babies now, and always points out how he got "left out". Full on sulks. I've had other members of staff tell me how he got missed out (moans to everyone); I've explained the circumstances and actually he still got the vouchers he'd have had, but it's caused a serious issue for such a small office.

I had a significant birthday recently and told the ladies I knew would organize it I only wanted a card signed by everyone. I find being the recipient of gifts very embarrassing, I was shallow enough several years ago to notice my present was half the price of a colleagues who's birthday was the following week, yes I know he was much more popular!!

My hospital department was a smaller group than most others and we were tightly knit. I only allowed a collection for a LONG TIME staffer who was leaving. Not for any other occasion.

Collections seem to me to be an example (sure there are many others) of good intentions gone bad. I'm a bit shocked to hear of the proceeds being diverted, or - worse - stolen, although I guess I'm very naive. But please don't knock Secret Santa. In the groups I'm in it's £5 from a charity shop. You can get something interesting and if the recipient doesn't lie it - back to the charity shop! Win, win.