The thorny question of workplace 'collections'

I’m not sure about ordinary leaving collections but my husband is due for retirement and I hope there’s a collection for him!….it will just round things off somehow. That said, he will also be expected to buy everyone a drink and is already moaning about the cost of that which could run into hundreds! It’s a crazy system!

I left my job of 20 years to go to uni in the 1980s. I didnt get on with my immediate boss so I didnt tell him I was resigning - just sent in my one line letter to the central location. I was also due a weeks leave so I scheduled that as part of my 4 weeks notice. Called in sick to avoid the last few days and the cringy presentation.

A few weeks before I had one of those bovine excrement appraisals. I expected it to last about 1 hour and it went on for more than 2. I had lost all motivation for the job and the boss knew it. He was trying to gee me along. I was sitting there with a confirmed place at a RG university and finding it hard to keep a straight face. It was a bit like leaving because you won the lottery but didnt tell anyone.

aonk

I’m a retired teacher. At my school we were all asked to contribute a set amount at the start of each case year to cover contributions to leaving, babies, illness etc. A member of the admin staff then dealt with the card, present or flowers. If you felt very close to someone you could always give your own gift.

We did that at the school where I worked too. It also included coffee and tea. The agreement was that if you'd been there for 5 years or more, you received a £25 gift voucher, plus flowers. If you'd been there for fewer years, you just had the flowers. Most people seemed happy for that, as it avoided the going round with an envelope thing. (I'd been there for 5 years and bought a lovely knitting bag with my voucher!). It was up to individuals to get individual gifts if they were particularly friendly with someone. Babies, bereavements and the like were funded by the SMT - they earned more, so contributed as much as they liked.

I never wanted a colleague to feel left out so if no collection going on I always started it and amazing how many didn’t havdd Ed a purse , then forgot the next time so I often ended up chipping in a large amount to make up for the deficit . If I happened to miss one as on holiday or something , sometimes they would leave with no card or anything - so hurtful . If never happened to me thankfully, and was always very generously treated when I left places . People are sensitive!

I was the one who got stuck with asking people , I used to say to them that if they wished to contribute just come and see me, I ended up adding my own money
Most of the time

Other posters have highlighted the massive inequities in these office collections; inequalities of disposable income and notable life events being two main ones.
In today's financially challenged world it would be unsurprising if the system were to be discontinued or modified.
From another era I have no resentful memories, probably because the system of a leaving card and gift was normalised so I just accepted it.
I never had loads of dosh but managed to find some for collections like many others and after about fifteen office moves for various reasons over 45 years and one marriage , I must have signed more leaving cards and contributed to more collections than I've had hot dinners.
In the early years we had loads of lovely middle -aged ladies ( I was middle-aged once!) who kept stores of birthday cards that were dished out as appropriate. Such a lovely thing for a young person in their first full-time job but no money collections for birthdays .Collections were for "leaving" for various reasons ; babies; weddings; move to another office; promotions, retirements etc. "Leaving" cards were passed around on staff lists and neither signing them nor donating were mandatory nor was there any mandatory donation amount. Purchase cost of the card was always covered out of the total collected.These were large offices where "collection/signing " pressures may have been reduced because too much was going on for everyone to have been watching each other all the time.
I thought providing a signed leaving card was the most lovely custom as I'm sure many people like me who kept their cards can reminisce now in their retirements and remember all the lovely colleagues ( some eccentric; the occasional one slightly less than lovely but very few of those) with whom one worked.
Nostalgia ain't what it used to be !

I worked in schools for most of my working life. I must have contributed £100’s in my lifetime but my birthday was always in the summer holidays so I never had the joy of receiving anything! ☹️

Worked in local government senior manager was 40 and we had a whip round because it was "such a special birthday ". We were expected to give a generous amount because he was the boss. I worked part time so he earned a lot more than me. A couple of months later I was 60. Apparently this wasn't a special birthday. I got cards and presents from the ladies in my office as normal, but the rest of the staff didn't even wish me a happy birthday until I sent out an email to say my birthday cakes were in the office. I wasn't really surprised as I
definitely wasn't one of the "in" crowd but at the time I was a bit sad

Nowadays someone sets up a gift giving web page and this is circulated for anyone to donate. I don't bother any more as it can get expensive especially when there might be minimum donation of a tenner or thereabouts.
At the same time I don't like being on the receiving end either. I don't want a manager giving some silly speech and everyone standing around expecting me to be either witty or tearful. When I retire I want to hand my stuff in and escape!

I just had a (random) thought, wouldn't it be nice if there was a collection to welcome a new person, instead of one to say goodbye when someone left? Just a thought and it's easy for me to say, as I'm now retired and not likely to be starting or finishing a job!

I also get fed up with the constant demands to sponsor people. It's very annoying. I choose my charity contributions very carefully.

... or going round with a collection envelope!

I agree, the collections are aggravating and biased as BigLouis and many others have stated. I really really hated having my name on an envelope or in a book and I had to sign to say I'd contributed and someone else had to countersign.Madness.
BigLouis also brought up that age old point about having a 'Kitty' when you go out. I absolutely hate it and always have.I'm not mean but have always had a tight budget, sometimes dining or socialising with people much better off, but they were always the ones having more drinks, starters and desserts and my 'Portion of the bill' was always hugely more than anything I had consumed myself ! I just think it's really horrible and it turns what should be a nice social event into something rather different.

I was one of the admins who did these collections. There were several of us each looking after big teams. Even thought the collections were for our own team, a large brown envelope with card went round the whole floor and people could sign the card, donate or both. No names were ever shown on the envelope. An email to the floor DL was sent out, excluding the relevant person of course, and this was sent out several times over the course of say a month. I have full faith that all monies were given to the person whom it was intended no matter who organised it. This was only for retirement and leavers who had been with the company for a few years. Teams did smaller collections for births and weddings and I can say for our team at least, people were always happy to contribute as we were a close-knit team. Now we are a very much depleted team and I work from home so would not expect to get anything when i retire. I bet manydont evenremember me!. I don't ever see emails going round any more. We are a much changed organisation since Covid.

I hate them. We have a colleague who is expecting a baby and a collection has been set up months in advance so that we can all contribute an amount each month up to the birth. EACH MONTH! Wtf!

In the past (pre covid) I always gave to collections and signed cards but now due to hybrid working I only know most people through zoom meetings so when the emails come round saying leaving , having a baby etc unless I’ve dealt with them personally or they’re in my direct team I don’t tend to contribute. I’m due to retire and don’t expect anything more than a card although I will invite my team to go for lunch with me ( we’ll all pay for our own meals and drinks) and I’ll only keep in touch with those I want to . I must add that in the past I’ve been very disappointed by leaving presents as I never was one of the ‘in crowd’ , just did my job and couldn’t afford to socialise for various reasons although I did give to collections for others

In my school, we had a system, with a list of criteria, as to what occasion would flowers be bought for. E.g long term illness, big birthday, big anniversary, birth of baby etc.

Everyone contributed a set amount every month, determined by grade and salary. Management paid much more. Everyone agreed to this and it worked well. It meant that some months, nothing was bought and when there were two or three bouquets to be bought in the one month, there was enough funds. It worked really well.
I also managed to secure a discount from the florist, because I had taught his son.

When someone was leaving, donations were anonymous. No-one knew who had put in nor how much.
At least two of us managed the money and it was kept in the office safe. Everything was very open and open to scrutiny.

I agree with Gummie about the sponsoring. However well intentioned and charitable, they were so frequent it was a pain. I loved giving gifts when people left work or had a baby etc, but agree it had started to get out of hand.

I benefitted greatly when I left one school where I had worked for only a year. We were a large staff, divided into four, and a respected HoD had a list of people to collect from. I don’t know if there was a set amount or if people were generous because they knew my 12 month contract was up and I hadn’t found another job to go to, but I received a wonderful, well-chosen gift.
When DH retired after 25 very influential years in a senior post he received lots of gifts, most of which I found recently in a box in the loft! From the Governors he received an engraved silver plated dish and for the first time they broke with the tradition of speeches at a farewell dinner to which spouses were invited. I was so disappointed, though he was pleased to escape. At his memorial service last year many staff and former pupils sent in tributes, even though he had been retired for over ten years. So I heard or read them- and he didn’t have to!

As for sponsorships, I told all pupils that I had so many requests that I would limit my sponsorship to a £1 ‘fix’, whatever the cause, rather than £1 per mile/ length etc. it saved me from forking out a small fortune!

The whole mark the occasion thing at work was becoming out of hand even when I retired many years ago. I
the 60s only 21st birthdays and weddings were marked with a communal gift. Bereavements, not that there were many were obviously acknowledged with a card and flowers if appropriate. Anyone leaving to have a baby wasn't given any gift until the baby arrived ( bad luck )and the gifts were from individuals not a collection. It's like children's birthday parties, the whole class, is ridiculous.

When I read the accounts on Mumsnet of hen parties abroad, baby showers, lavish kids parties and so on I wonder where people get the money. It has become just another way to competetively flash the cash.

I know a couple of people who avoided the last few days in the workplace by calling sick or having a "family emergency" to avoid something they would have found very embarrassing.

I'm self-employed but when I was employed I refused point blank to do it.

I was of course told, quite bluntly by arms crossed, angry, lip-up pouters that I was being selfish and inconsiderate and I retorted that they chose to get married/pregnant/retire, it's nothing to do with me, that It's nothing personal against who the collection is for but I'm not a ''contributor''.

I hated the never-ending collection plate coming around and the pressure to hand over my hard-earned wages.

Catherine Tate (repeats) does a very funny sketch on the subject.🤣
More or less captures the sentiments of the majority of posters on here.

There were collections going around all the time in one of my previous jobs. It was a huge open plan office with around 100 people in it. There were different departments in the space. Collections were just passed around all of them.

Just for devilment, a colleague of mine set up a collection for a fictitious person and sent it around to see what would happen. He collected quite a few pounds! This was about 30 years ago.

I suppose some people are generous (or wealthy) enough to put into any collection without questioning it.

My colleague did go back and refund the money.

Personally, I would put into a collection for someone I didn't know.

We use on- line collections, so no dreaded envelope. Donations can be anonymous or not. Everyone can see how much has been collected. I find it all rather tasteless, as if your popularity has a figure on it. Have very rarely given to people in my current workplace as I hardly know them, doubt that I will expect anything when I retire ...