How much do you spend on yourself?

Thinking about this thread all day yesterday and came to the conclusion it was in really bad taste to mentions sums of money you are free to spend on trivial things when so many are just scraping along as best they can . Food , electricity and gas have all gone up and many are finding it a struggle to eat healthy meals on the budget they have .

We have 2 joint accounts. One is for my husband's use with my name on as well and the other is for my use has his name on it. My account has his company pension paid in and from which all the direct debits for bills are taken and from which the credit card bills are taken as well. So thats the busy account. My state and company pension is paid in there as well, but I keep a note of "my" money separate from the house hold bills money.

The other joint account has my husbands state pension paid in and any other ad hoc payments he receives.

Our personal outgoings are small now. I should think 100.00 per month over the year is what I spend on me. Hair cuts, lunches, coffees, clothes ...very few now..., national trust and a local garden annual membership, books and other small stuff.
If we had to pay for holidays , new white goods and large price items we would pay half each from our "own" money. It suits us.

He has shares as do I. And they are bought/sold etc at our own individual decision.

So we do have a healthy balance but the future healthwise is very uncertain. It could be all eaten into should care be needed.
If the future were not so uncertain...or if we had more future ahead, we might deal with finances differently.
Interesting what other couple or individuals do.
What I hate to hear is the phrase "spending ing the kids inheritance" often from people who have benefited from an inheritance from their own parents...who didnt spend it!!

Lots of things annoy me these days!!

We shared everything from the day we were married. He gave me the cheque book and asked me to run the finances in our joint account. Only much later in life did we get an account each, when I realised that it would make things easier when one of us became widowed. I also persuaded him to get his own credit card

Re the joint account when I was widowed, I transferred everything into my own account. It is what the bank wanted. We all need access to money, sometimes when we least expect it. I was suddenly widowed and immediately there are so many things to pay for wrt the certificates, funeral, wake etc.

My husband has always been a smoker. As the cost of his addiction (hobby) keeps increasing, I have decided to spend on some new clothes. At least I will have something to show for my money rather than it going up in smoke. He has been advised to stop smoking but now it is imperative as he has had a TIA and it could be a stroke next.

Alltogethernow, if your own pensions were to go into your personal bank account and from there you transfer into your joint account your share to cover bills, holidays, food, car etc., will the balance left in your personal bank account be more than £250?

If the answer is yes, maybe it is time to veto your husband and change the financial arrangement.

We have separate accounts. My name is on my husband bank accounts but I do not touch it. I have my own current and savings account.

We have known each other for 30 years, lived together for 25 and have separate accounts, pensions, savings! Other half gives me housekeeping to cover his share of bills but I pay more as my pensions are more! He has stopped drinking and his bank balance as soared! I bought no new clothes last year through choice, my wardrobes are full ! We run our own cars ! Pay our own holidays jointly or separately depending on who is going where and with whom! ! I spend more as I do more socially plus hairdresser every six weeks, facial every six weeks, we might eat out once a month depends how we feel ! As we have our own money we don’t question who spends what and it works fine! We own a house together as well so go halves on new items , decorating! Feel very lucky in many ways !

23grandtante
Santander did not freeze our joint account when my DH died. They did however freeze his personal account but luckily we still had enough to manage my finances between the joint and my own account. They didn't even ask for probate around the personal account in the end just the death cert. and a copy of our marriage cert.

I always spend far more on other people, especially family, than I do on myself each month, but I don’t go without! I do have an expensive hobby that I indulge in occasionally!

Like you we have joint accounts for monthly shopping, holidays, car etc. my DH has £300 a month to spend on what he likes, mainly his computing hobbies. I have more because I attend several classes at a local centre and have piano lessons. Once these are paid I have £200 a month for clothes and shoes, lunch with friends. I think you should both have whatever you can afford to enjoy your life. It's important that you both have some independence financially. £250 sounds fine to me.

It depends what we call essentials and what are considered luxuries.

pascal30

I think £250 is quite modest.. I certainly spend more than that but mainly on painting activities and exhibitions

Are you kidding ? I feel guilty is I spend £10 a month on books for my kindle . I buy no make up , magazines or coffees out . I look for bargain offers for Kindle Unlimited and Readly where I can read all the magazines and newspapers I would ever want . We each get £30 a month in our clothes accounts and mine is sitting several hundred pounds in the black .

I spend what I want when I want,no allowance.....some month's more, some less

I feel a bit embarrassed reading these threads. I'm a spender.
I'm in a very fortunate position I have quite a bit of personal money to spend each month. We do have sperate Bank accounts but the bills come out of mine which is technically the Joint account but DH never uses it, he just pays into it.
If I see something I want /fancy I just get it. I don't just buy /spend money for the sake of it, but I do spend quite a bit compared to many of you.

I have always managed the finances and paid every single bill from the mortgage to holidays. My oh is a spender and always has been. He likes cash in his pocket at all times and I'm not talking a few pounds he withdraws £100 regularly. I only spend on Hairdresser every 8-12 weeks, a few clothes when required but I do like to visit a nice coffee shop regularly but oh never comes with me. If I hadnt managed the finances for over 40 years we would have been bankrupt and homeless years ago.

Alltogethernow
I have loved reading the responses to your post . It varies on how much I personally spend , hair /high lights every 6 weeks , I refuse to get my nails done regularly now as I feel £30/£40 is far too much .Until recently I always shopped for clothes in CS’s but have eased off of that for now as I seem to buy things that then go unworn which is a false economy. I love buying for the home & am a keen upcycling queen . I don’t spend too much on make up just replenishing lipstick , mascara & foundation as & when . In an ideal world my choice would be Clarins but I wait for offers . I also have fees for a college course.
Recently, I have declared that we both need to draw out £250 pm rather than keep using cards .
We have a joint account & savings accounts & have regular savings by so going in monthly. The reason for the cash usage was to use on personal things & daily incidentals from the supermarket., not things like petrol which can come from account by card . Last month was the first month we did this & we had nights out three weeks or so on the trot , that’s was hard as my DH was using his cash , at the end of the month I still at £20 in my purse ! Though I went to the supermarket this morning & was happy to use my last cash, it came to £23 lol
It’s all good for us as we both know what’s going I. & going out .
I had a fit a few months ago seeing the amount that was being spent on Coffees & food out . That was the reason for the swap to cash .

Oh - and teeth 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️. Dentists at sooooo expensive and I had to have an implant removed (it spli

We’ve recently moved - downsized but unfortunately is was from north to south so no financial gain there ! Most of our money is being spent on the house ….
We’ve been married 42 years and have had one joint account we use for bills - just putting in an average of our yearly bills in each month - this has worked perfectly. Our other account is also joint . DH has only ever bought tools …. though he now has a boat and that is fiercely expensive ! I sail with him so can’t really complain…. He has no interest in clothes so if he’s looking a bit threadbare I’ll get him something .
Since retiring I spend very little on myself - I can’t find a decent hairdresser so cut my own hair (it’s very forgiving ) and I’m lucky that it doesn’t need colouring . I barely wear make up but it’s cheap stuff now if I do - I do spend on a good sun cream but I get my skin care from ‘The Ordinary’ which is super cheap and wonderful. I do a couple of classes a week - and coffee with new friends - occasional meals out - never go to the pub but do go to folk events nearby, theatre occasionally - I love gardening g but am trying to grow more from seed as I can’t stand all the plastic pots ! I haven’t bought clothes or shoes etc for ages any money would go on outdoor pursuit type clothing as I’m still pretty active . I do like perfume but it’s a bit pointless really …. I may get some on eBay occasionally if I run out . I take my grandkids swimming and for lunch sometimes . Hmm - and I have to admit to a bottle of Prosecco once a week 😊😊🥂🥂

grannyactivist
That was me just before Covid hit , my treatment plan was £10k !
Rather that then the lose of teeth .
My treatment course was over a 2 year period during our lockdown .
Good luck btw 👌

We’ve had a joint account since we got engaged. We’ve never argued about mainly because all our money went on the mortgage or our kids. Now they’re all grown up we’ve had extra cash which we’ve saved for the last 5 years after our dd graduated from uni. My oh retired 5 years ago also, but took a part time job which we saved. I’m about to reduce my hours at work for my last year before I retire. I think each couple needs to agree, how to manage their finances. My OH doesn’t have many outgoings except his car, as he loves premium cars, he never questions what I buy. My biggest outgoing nowadays is for my grandkids.

silverlining48

Primrose I had a running away account, money which I had saved years before meeting my dh. I kept it til about 10 years ago when I was capable of running, but these days I don’t have the energy so it’s incorporated into our joint current account.

Aww, it came in useful then! 👍

Always had joint financial accounts. DH when retired was obsessed with woodworking (had always been a great DIYer) and that's what the spent money on. I do crafts and choir. Not much on clothes but admit I can get carried away on shoes. Now its all garden and house maintenance that seems to be my main spends. Never had any issues on who spent what, we shared everything for 55 years.

Primrose I had a running away account, money which I had saved years before meeting my dh. I kept it til about 10 years ago when I was capable of running, but these days I don’t have the energy so it’s incorporated into our joint current account.

Certainly when my mother died 11 years ago we were happy to have had a joint account with her which made dealing with her affairs much easier.

grandtanteJE65

I surprises me that many of you sound as if you only have joint accounts with your spouses.

If this is the case, will you please all open a personal acount and get your husband or wife to do the same, and make sure that money goes into them each month.

Joint accounts are frozen upon the death of either holder and not re-opened again until probate has been granted.

So the survivor in a marriage will find her- or himself with no money at all upon the death of her/his spouse.

And if you only have joint accounts or if bills are paid from a joint account, there is nothing your bank can do to help you, as it is a legal requirement that a deceased person's accounts are frozen immediately and not re-opened until probate has been granted.

This is not correct grandtante, (undskyld jeg modsiger dig, men) a single account is frozen immediately, but a joint account automatically belongs to the surviving member. I have sadly been there twice so know this for a fact.

lixy

Hair cut once every 6 weeks now as it is very short.
Other than that my spending money goes on mulch, compost and plants - gardening is one of my main hobbies so I count that as spending on myself.

This is similar to me.
A dry cut once every 4-6 weeks. No salon beauty treatments. Ordinary clothing (sales and/or using military discount).
I focus my spending on our home but especially the garden.
We have a modest detached bungalow, savings, our own bank accounts and pocket money.
My DH has daily Amazon packages arriving in a daily basis.
Best of all we have my parents, daughters, their husbands and grandchildren and another due in the early autumn.
I never anticipated this wonderful life.