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Faffing about in Older Age!

(137 Posts)
zakouma66 Wed 27-Mar-24 10:12:26

I read an interesting thread o'er yonder on the young folks' site entitled 'Please tell me we don't all end up like this'

I recognise some of the traits; the constant worry about food and minor details, obsession about set meal times, indecision, minutae becoming huge. Bins loom large as does the Radio Times.

Anybody else?

LucyAnna Wed 27-Mar-24 10:30:09

None of that resonates with me! Bins? Meals? Indecision? No, sorry. I’m 76 this year and not concerned with any of that. Maybe some folks have those traits when younger, then they get more pronounced when older?

Witzend Wed 27-Mar-24 10:33:02

Nor me, dithering and faffing make me want to scream!
I’ve known non-elderly people do it too, though - it’s not confined to older-age.

henetha Wed 27-Mar-24 10:33:10

Not really. Well, only a little bit. At 86 I am allowed a bit of faffing about, but generally I'm still reasonably together and organised.
I must admit to being indecisive, but I've always been like that.

Kate1949 Wed 27-Mar-24 10:37:05

Bins never enter my head! My husband puts them out. I'm not sure they'd ever go out of it was up to me. I am 74 and quite well organised I think, bins excepted!

MiniMoon Wed 27-Mar-24 10:43:48

I'm 72, been retired 10 years and none of this resonates with me. DH faffs about a bit, but he's always been like this. I put it down to his being on the autism spectrum although he's never been diagnosed.

Grandmabatty Wed 27-Mar-24 10:44:31

I have always been organised and I still am. I found the Mumsnet thread very ageist and fake 'amused at these old doddery parents '. I suspect it may take some folk longer to make decisions because that's their nature. Nothing to do with their age

Redhead56 Wed 27-Mar-24 10:47:25

My dh does all that dithering about trivia my only concerns are real worries family and health.

1summer Wed 27-Mar-24 10:51:51

I am afraid that since my husband died 18 months ago I have started to notice some of the annoying traits my Mum had as she got older and after my Dad died in me.
With me it’s worrying and stressing about minor things, getting upset about things going wrong in house or garden but become indecisive about finding tradesmen to fix.
I want to move house but have been saying to daughter I will put house on market next month for about 9 months.
Meal times or bins do not bother me yet!

eazybee Wed 27-Mar-24 10:56:48

Sounds like obsessive behaviour to me, not faffing about.

downtoearth Wed 27-Mar-24 11:00:35

I am not a faffer, a friend is a faffer and a moaner it takes a lot of patience and good humour to smooth and deal with the faffing an,d flapping and moaning,this a personality trait not age relatedgrin

eddiecat78 Wed 27-Mar-24 11:03:45

My elderly parents very much did certain things on certain days and at certain times. I don't see that as a problem - it gave them a rythm to their lives when they were retired and less physically able to be "spontaneous".

pascal30 Wed 27-Mar-24 11:10:15

Not a faffer ... just relaxed and take life as it comes

Glorianny Wed 27-Mar-24 11:11:48

I don't worry about food- whatever is in the fridge and cupboard, I'm willing to experiment, and I eat when I feel like it. I'm never sure which bin is going out this week, but as mine are never full it doesn't really matter. They go out eventually. Haven't seen a Radio Times for years. Maybe those posting on Mumsnet just know the wrong older people. The rest of us are too busy with other things to "Faff"!!

flappergirl Wed 27-Mar-24 11:13:00

I'm not a faffer and never have been but I do have slight trouble with arthritis in my hands which may give the impression of faffing I suppose. I'm still working (unsociable and long hours) and am widowed so meal times don't factor into my life and bins just get put out. Haven't bought the Radio Times for years.

biglouis Wed 27-Mar-24 11:14:03

I dont know about "faffing" but I am a planner and an organizer so I have a "to do" list every day which I try to get through. However I dont worry too much if some minor tasks are left at the bottom. I tend to block things off into different compartments of my life and not allow them to overflow. My nephew says I have very male attitudes.

I read threads about people who have an obsession with bins, like my former NDN. She had a mania with bins, drains and rubbish. Possibly because she had dementia coming on for years.

I find the big bins too heavy and clumsy to manage even when empty. So my nephew puts them out for me but only once they are rammed full, which takes weeks. I recycle as much paper and cardboard as possible so my bins take ages to fill. After the bin men have emptied them they generally stay there until nephew brings them back in on his next visit. I have better things to do than mess about with bins.

AGAA4 Wed 27-Mar-24 11:16:45

I am indecisive. More so as I've got older but I don't worry or faff about food or bins. Routines are non existent since I retired. I do things when I feel like or when they have to be done.

MissAdventure Wed 27-Mar-24 11:19:10

Most people, including younger ones, like to make sure their bins are put out on the right day because they don't want to have to store rubbish, surely?

fancythat Wed 27-Mar-24 11:20:45

I know about 3 people, late 80s who went into faffing.
I have already told a few people, I am not able to guarantee what I will be like then, if I get there.

Kate1949 Wed 27-Mar-24 11:21:24

My DH puts the bins in and out for our 95 year old neighbour. She phoned me one day to say that my DH should put her garden bin an inch or so further back on her drive. She also rang one day in tears as the bin men hadn't emptied her food bin. Still she is 95!

M0nica Wed 27-Mar-24 11:24:04

Another non-faffer. If doubtful on bins, say after being on holiday, I just check it on the Council website. Food, as I have done for the last 60 years, weekly plan, weekly visit the supermarket and adjust as necessary. Radio Times? what's that?

Sarnia Wed 27-Mar-24 11:27:44

I don't do well with ditherers. At 76, I make a list of things to do but apart from that I get on with things pretty much as well as I always have. I have a Committee meeting this afternoon and just typing this makes my blood pressure rise because I know I will spend 2 hours with a couple of prize faffers. grin

MissAdventure Wed 27-Mar-24 11:27:54

My mum always had the TV and Radio times. smile

It was no skin off anyone else's nose, I'm sure.

Casdon Wed 27-Mar-24 11:37:59

I think traits you’ve always had get more dominant as you get older, so if you were a faffer as a child, you will be more of one by the time you’re eighty. I’m a mental effort procrastinator, the type who always delayed exam revision until 5am on the day of the exam, meanwhile you could have eaten your dinner off the floor in my bedroom and every cupboard was sorted to within an inch of its life. I’m even worse now, I’ve had to learn self management strategies to cope - but I’m not a faffer in getting ready or other aspects of day to day life. Patience is another example, people who were always impatient often get very intolerant as they age. I also wonder about anxiety.

Juliet27 Wed 27-Mar-24 11:39:40


I am indecisive. More so as I've got older but I don't worry or faff about food or bins. Routines are non existent since I retired. I do things when I feel like or when they have to be done.

I’m indecisive so tend to faff but I think I’d be better if I could just do things when the mood/need takes me, My H I’m pleased to say deals with the bins but despite him having grumbled about how his parents used to have mealtime routines, he’s forever asking what and when we’re having for the next meal. Again, I would just rather eat when I’m hungry