Tales about "stingy" guests and hosts.

You were very unlucky Maggie. We have had some splendid hospitality over the years in Germany, mostly from friends or family but sometimes from strangers.
Once an elderly couple took us to their home for the night because we had missed the last bus.
Next morning after breakfast they drove us back to the main station in time to get the train to the ferry back to the uk.
We kept in touch until they died. We were foreign, young and scruffy having travelled all day from Bavaria, but they didn’t hesitate.

When we lived in Germany we were invited to someone’s home for the evening (a colleague who seemed very keen for us to go). We were both convinced that the word “essen” (to eat) was mentioned! We arrived at the agreed time, with a bottle of wine, a few beers and flowers. And proceeded to sit there making small talk for a couple of hours on chairs arranged around a coffee table bearing a little bowl of salted peanuts. No other food was offered and no further drinks once the four of us had finished the beer and wine we brought. We started to think we’d misunderstood and were all going to go out for a meal, but no. When our glasses had stayed empty for a while and it became obvious we weren’t going to get the peanut bowl refilled, we thanked them and left, off in desperate search of food. We did wonder whether we’d actually even have been offered a drink if we hadn’t taken it with us!

Annsixty you just have to be like DMiL. She included written instructions with her funeral plans (which she had paid for in advance). She gave a copy to all her DC in case one of them lost it

So when she died last year aged 98, we all knew exactly what we had to do.
She was a fabulous cook so we took recipes from her notes and brought the results of these to the wake.

Everyone was invited back to the house and we were told there was to be no meanness.

The service too was as she wanted it to be with chosen hymns.

I picked flowers from her garden and our garden for the coffin. It was June.

We felt it was a good send off and I hope she would have approved.

Biglouis
I loved your account of stinginess!

I also once travelled to a funeral some distance away.
It didn’t involve an overnight stay but did involve a whole days travelling by train and taxi.
At the wake we were offered tea or coffee and a cupcake.
On the return journey I couldn’t wait for the trolley to come round but it never did as the train was so crowded.
The funeral was for the H of a good friend and she is actually a most hospitable person but she didn’t have a hand in the catering for this, understandably so.

Still laughing at aggie's post

The guests from overseas who were too polite to leave! 🤣🤣🤣

We travelled some distance for a friend's funeral which meant we had to stay in a B & B. After the service there were a a few curled up sandwiches and a cup of tea. It was a quick in and out reception and people then went on their way. It cost us quite a bit in petrol and an overnight stay, so we were not impressed.

Diplomat

When I first met my husband I found it very strange that I would sit for hours at his parents house without being offered a drink (I was too shy and thought it impolite to ask). It was after some time that I mentioned it to my then boyfriend who explained that they made drinks at certain times - after lunch, after dinner etc!! Hard luck if you missed the slot!!

Are you my sil?? This is exactly like my mil apart from the fizzy drink that is constantly in her hand or alcohol. When it comes to a hot drink, it's either too soon after one meal or too close to the next. As (adult) DS and I dont drink alcohol and like our coffee (decaff) it's torture! We are not allowed to make one ourselves though dh will sometimes risk her wrath and do so.

Just remembered , people turned up one evening , father , mother and teen daughter , they said our son had given them our address and said we would put them up for a night
They were from New Zealand , I hadn’t heard from my son in a while , I had visited him a year previously I didn’t remember these people , but had had lovely hospitality on my visit
So I got them in , changed my student kids beds for them , made a meal my husband took them out and showed them round etc etc
They stayed a few days , I was getting anxious as to where my lot were going to sleep !
That evening they came downstairs with their bags and drove off …. IN A CAMPER VAN .
Next time son rang he laughed , all these people had wanted was a shower and a drink in the pub !
They were too embarrassed not to stay the extra nights after I had welcomed them !
And my son didn’t actually know them , they were friends of friends !

Years ago we were invited to neighbours for dinner as we were new in the area.

We took a couple of bottles of decent wine plus chocolates or flowers (I can't remember which but it is what we always do when invited out)

They accepted the bottles of wine. When the dinner was served the wine was brought in in a carafe. It wasn't very nice wine

Months later we were in their garage looking at some new equipment they had bought. On a shelf in the garage were quite a few bottles of very nice wine - along with several cartons of cheap wine from the cheap supermarket nearby. These were not proper boxes of wine but the sort of boxes you get orange juice in. We put two and two together and realised that they were keeping our good wine and giving us the cheap stuff.

They were lovely people so we never let on that we knew.

A friend of a friend went on a singles holiday, mostly mature women, and got to know people quite well and quickly.
After the holiday they exchanged phone numbers and addresses.
L got a call from one of them asking if she could stay a few days as she was going to be in her area.
She was a dreadful guest and outstayed her welcome .
When L rang another one for a chat and mentioned it she found out she was far from alone.
This woman had foisted herself on others in the group in just the same way.
They surmised that this was a regular ploy.
She could get lots of free holidays a year using this method.

we had some vague acquaintance from Canada just turn up on the doorstep one day. (pre internet) and stayed for months with very little contribution. Eventually they got the hint and moved on, to my sister in law - bet she made them pay rent. Not embarrassed at all.

Serendipity22

Not kitty table

Meant to say kitchen.

I was wondering what that was!! 😱
My mind was racing!

What a brilliant story. It reminded me of stay I had with a former colleague. I regularly travelled North from Devon so my children could see my ex husband, their father. We stayed with this lady for two nights. It was winter but there was no heating and my daughters were really miserable. Food was limited and the general atmosphere was formal and not at all friendly for such young children.

We slept together in one bed for warmth. On the second night we decided to put our coats on to try to get a decent night's sleep. Our hostess was highly offended when she realised we needed coats in bed. We left that day and I never contacted her again.

When we are with stingy people we often simply pay the bill. My husband is a generous man and would rather be out of pocket than quibble with people who are often wealthier than we are.

As for entertaining at home; we have often hosted International School students and have heard many tales of mean host families who buy the cheapest food for their guests and begrudge any expenditure on them.

One of people in a group we used to go round with used to collect all our cash money for the restaurant food, including some generous tips. He would then pay the exact amount, no tip, on a card. Pretty soon the rest of us worked out what he was doing and we all paid by card ourselves after that. Miserable git. The richest of us all and we all know why!

That reminds me of a friend who went with her S, DiL and two teenaged GC to visit family members who had been recently bereaved. It was a long drive but they wanted to do it.
The family being visited, rather an odd couple apparently insisted on cooking a meal.
It was Toad in the Hole with gravy and each person got half a sausage.
My friend was totally embarrassed but did see the funny side later.

Sorry, didn't mean to use the quote with my last comment. The BBQ sounds like one we went to with a work friend of my husband and his family. They'd been to our house for a couple of meals over the time he'd worked with him. After two hours we were given half a sausage each - needless to say we never accepted another invitation.

JustMe

We had a funny one. A guy my DH worked with lived round the corner, we didn't know him and his wife well, but we did ask them round for a meal... all quite casual, it was a Sunday lunchtime and I did a farm shop quiche, cold chicken, new pots, salads etc. Nice weather, sat outside. All went well.

A few weeks later they asked us round for a BBQ. Arrived at their house at 12 noon, I took them some chocolates. Went into the garden, had a small glass of wine each and we sat. And sat. And sat. No sign of a barbecue, no one talking about it, and the longer it went on the more embarrassing it was. It got to 2.30 and I made faces at my DH, and we said... oh, we better be going. They said OK! And off we went!

Seriously strange! Never met up again, never found out the reason for that one

We used to have a friend who was not only stingy but also a truly terrible cook. If she invited us for dinner I always fed my husband before we went there.

Somebody very close family -arrived late to my son’s wedding wearing a huge green net top hat shaped hat from a charity shop and sat in front of me and my husband blocking the view . The wonderful butcher’ s sourced hock of ham came from her local Co-op and cost £2 x2 she brought . Then didn’t open and took them home for her spa sessions . The box of rose wine not used went at the same time as she left ( useful for her spa days?) and she is captured fast asleep at the wedding breakfast on a photo . This is how you become a millionaire!

ordinarygirl

I remember reading about a lady who would open the door with her hat on. If it was guests she wanted to see she would say she'd just come in and invite the people in. If it was somebody she did not want to see- the answer was she was just going out and could they come back another time and let her know in advance

I was told the trick of going to the door with a towel wrapped round my head as if just washing it.
“Looks dry to me” said my friend 😁

Many years ago a couple of my gran’s sister granddaughter came to the uk on tour of Europe. It was agreed in advance they could leave their excess baggage with my gran’s younger sister, turns out they were the excess baggage, stayed with my great aunt for months, as far as I know they never paid towards household costs.

I was mortified during a visit to my b-I-l with family over from USA, it was a beautiful sunny day and neither b-I-l or s-I-l offered any of us a drink not even the kids.

I had rather an opposite experience with a rude guest. I invited her round for something to eat, which was to be a quick meal, after she’d finished her office job for the evening. We were being picked up later that evening by another friend taking us to the theatre in a nearby city. It was summertime - June or July. For our meal, I served up a generous slice of quiche, a mixed salad and hot new potatoes. I put the food in front of her and she said, rather rudely I thought “Is there a chip shop around here? I fancy something hot”. I’m wondering now whether I was being mean? We did have a dessert of some kind as well. She’s still a friend and I forgave her abrupt question. She didn’t think she was being rude as she never turned a hair! Maybe I should’ve made a casserole and I think, in the same circumstances. I would do next time.

At the age of 19 I was offered a job for a few days in the centre of Dublin. My mum couldn't make the same flight as mine. Before I accepted the job she had telephoned the guest house were were to stay in to get an idea if I would be looked after. The hostess went on about her hospitality. I arrived and went for a fitting then to the guest house. You guessed it, I was offered water and crackers for dinner! The next morning, it was a plain roll in a cellophane bag, and again water. I didn't report this to my mum, who arrived and escorted me to the Job. On arriving back for dinner, out came the crackers again, and of course my mum complained. The best they ended up doing was give us rolls in cellophane and tinned oxtail soup-every night of our stay! We managed to find breakfasts at a greasy spoon, smuggled supermarket snacks in for dinner (this was long before takeaways on tap) and never were we so pleased for a proper cup of tea once we got home!