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Funny (and quick) one liners…

(8 Posts)
Mamma66 Mon 01-Apr-24 18:24:38

Many years ago I went to the cinema to watch ‘Arachnophobia’. I don’t know what I was thinking of, I hate spiders. At one particularly suspenseful part of the film I jumped half out of my skin. The chap behind me, quick as a flash said, “bloody hell! If she’d jumped any higher, she’d have ended up on my knee!” He was very quick and the entire audience erupted into laughter (even me). I wish I could be so quick. Anyone else experienced an admirably quick retort?

AskAlice Mon 01-Apr-24 18:31:33

A close friend of mine went to see "Elephant Man" when it first came out in the cinema (these were less enlightened times, bear in mind.)

In one of the scenes, someone asked Joseph Merrick "What was your mother's name?" and someone in the audience immediately shouted out, "Nellie!"

It doesn't sound as funny now as it did at the time, thank goodness.

Gin Mon 01-Apr-24 18:42:55

I was in the cinema last week watching Madam Butterfly relayed from Covent Garden. At the end all the magnificent singers were given an ovation from the audience in London but utter silence in our cinema. When Pinkerton. ( the dastardly husband) came on for his bow I booed loudly and the cinema audience erupted into titters. He was an excellent singer but I was carried away with indignation at his treatment of Butterfly!

TinSoldier Mon 01-Apr-24 18:46:29

My favourite was when Lord Tebbit was complaining in the House of Lords about the length of time it took to drive from Parliament to the Tower of London, a delay he alleged was caused by cycle lanes and cyclists. Labour peer, Lord Hunt, heckled him shouting Get on your Bike. Deliciously ironic. Tebbit was not amused.

RosiesMaw Mon 01-Apr-24 22:46:08

Gin

I was in the cinema last week watching Madam Butterfly relayed from Covent Garden. At the end all the magnificent singers were given an ovation from the audience in London but utter silence in our cinema. When Pinkerton. ( the dastardly husband) came on for his bow I booed loudly and the cinema audience erupted into titters. He was an excellent singer but I was carried away with indignation at his treatment of Butterfly!

It is the custom to boo Pinkerton at the end of Madama Butterfly.
You clearly knew this- the cinema audience didn’t.

Clawdy Mon 01-Apr-24 22:54:13

Dennis Skinner: "Half the Tories opposite are crooks!"
Speaker : "Please retract that remark."
Dennis: "Okay, half the Tories opposite are not crooks!"

Squiffy Tue 02-Apr-24 00:02:09

Many moons ago, we were at the cinema watching The Day of the Triffids. It got to a very tense scene during which a man was sitting in a glasshouse, eating his sandwiches, blissfully unaware that a triffid was creeping up on him. As it got closer some bright spark in the audience shouted out, “Look out Mate, it’s after your sandwiches!” The audience collapsed with laughter!

MissAdventure Tue 02-Apr-24 00:04:19

AskAlice

A close friend of mine went to see "Elephant Man" when it first came out in the cinema (these were less enlightened times, bear in mind.)

In one of the scenes, someone asked Joseph Merrick "What was your mother's name?" and someone in the audience immediately shouted out, "Nellie!"

It doesn't sound as funny now as it did at the time, thank goodness.

grin grin