Do you live abroad and long for home ?

I returned to UK at the end of 2022 after 20+ of living in France. TBH I didn't really want to My Husband has a 87 yr old Mother and he's an only child. After Brexit and Covid it became difficult getting back to UK, local Airport shut down, Flybe stopped flying, Ferries had less crossings and more expensive. I never thought waking up on that morning to find out that Brexit had happened that my life would change so much. Then covid happened My Mum died of covid and it was impossible to get back. As it happens since returning to UK most of our long time friends have done the same. I miss France very much the way of life, the shopping and the rural life but not the difficult red tape which is part of living there.

We lived in Gibraltar in the 80's for 3.5 yrs but knew it was never going to be a longtime move, returned 30 yrs plus and it had changed so much and I think for that reason I wont return to that part of France. I haven't really settled where I live now and My Husband knows so when something does happen to his Mother we wont be staying. After living in Gib I fancied the thought of moving to Spain but that looks it wont be happening now with new laws that seem to be happening. At the moment I am plodding along and when the time comes hope that I have the health and resources to do want I would like.

I agree NotSpaghetti home is where we are.
My family have been scattered by choice or otherwise
My DGM came here, a refugee after the 2nd World War. She's the only GP buried in the UK.
I arrived from NZ as a child and now DS has emigrated there. Will he ever return? I doubt it.
DB lives abroad.
He used to miss the English language spoken so would come home frequently to enjoy the pub and to see us. Since mum died his visits are fewer.

I have lived abroad - I didn't want to go and then didn't want to come back.

I think, maybe Floradora9, you haven't ever made another country home and put down roots there?
I have longing memories of other places where I have lived and felt deeply connected- but now feel it's becoming increasingly unlikely we will move anywhere else 100% of the time.

Brexit has finally done it for us, I think...

I believe if I'd brought my family to adult hood in a different country instead of bringing them back to the UK s children I would have perhaps been more likely to live away.
Home, in many ways, is just where we are.

Maybe she thought you would "get it" JackyB.

So true, watermeadow. My neighbour (now long dead) used to complain to me of homesickness. She came from three villages down the road! Don't know why she chose me to tell. Me, who was living in a different country, over 1000 km from where my roots are.

It doesn’t even have to be abroad. I spent twenty years living somewhere I hated. I longed to return to my native town but was trapped there with children and no money in a very unhappy marriage.
When I finally escaped and returned home it was like going to heaven.

Swings and roundabouts I think, at least for me. I love our peaceful rural life here in France. Don't love the eternal bureaucracy that accompanies most decisions.
I miss the family but they are all adults now so I probably wouldn't see a great deal of the even living in UK. I am careful not to remember things through rose coloured glasses . Both countries are having their problems with health care and political issues amongst other things. For the time being I am happy to remain in France.

mokryna I was thinking about those who live away from their native country and then return when they retire. Even those who have had home holdays and leaves do not really see the changes that are part of the everyday life of those living in a country full time.

I think most of us will have at some time met those grumpy expats retiring home who expect the UK to still be like it was in the 1970s/80s and complain about everything going down the pan, that workmen charge too much, and children are spoilt and direspectful etc etc.

They can me met with in Spain, retirement to Spain being there alternative to coming home - and as they consume the 5th G&T of the day, they complain about Britain.

Every country has changed in the last 50/30 or even 6 years, time has moved on even in France. Commercially, 50 years ago chickens were sold alive in my market and now there are supermarkets selling tastless battery hens. Fortunately, my fresh food market is still here, three times a week. Ten years ago Ukraine started to be invaded, Trump aggression came, then Brexit and lastly Covid causing a new lifestyle of working from home. Many things beyond our control have affected our lives some for the better and others, sadly for the worst.
Life looks greener on the other side but I am staying put, here in France.

M0nica

Some times those living away forget how much Britian has changed over the last 50 years.

The country you come back to, to live, as distinct from just visiting is yet a nother country.

I have been thinking about this a lot recently. For over 30 years we have had a holiday home in Normandy. Quite close to the UK and we have travelled between the two countries, may be 10 times a year for all that time.

Now, with age and infirmity growing, we have sold it and we have been reminiscing about how much France has changed in the 30 plus years we have commuted between the two countries.

Anyone French who had gone to live abroad 30 years ago and came home now to retire, would find the France of their youth was no more. Everyone shops in supermarkets. There are still butchers and bakers in small towns, but only one of each - rarely at village level, all those corner bars have gone, and the restaurants that just offered one 'plat du jour' and had 4 tables. Supermarkets and some other shops are open all day. We have a weekly rubbish collection, the French are far more law abiding, fewer deals 'under the table' and less casual ignoring of health and safety laws. and this is just a sample list of changes.

It is the same for every one, leaving their home country and returning after occasional short visits before retiring 'home'.

The past is another country.

Interesting post Monica.

I holidayed in Paris in the late 50s as a teenager transfixed by both Nouvelle Vague cinema and previously Tradition de qualité... was passionately in love with Jean Gabin and Daniel Gelin, and the narrow alleys and cobbled streets of Paris portrayed in Le Ballon Rouge. I wasn't disappointed.

Returning decades later - it was indeed another country.

We spent four years, 2015-2018, living part time in Françe, March to October and came very close to selling up and moving there. Our grandchildren and my children were the main reason we didn’t, then the implications of Brexit meant we couldn’t have the long visits. Even over those years MOnica there was less stringency on the rules which started changing subsequently.
We look back on those years with extreme fondness, but don’t regret our decision, Françe has changed a lot in the last six years.

Some times those living away forget how much Britian has changed over the last 50 years.

The country you come back to, to live, as distinct from just visiting is yet a nother country.

I have been thinking about this a lot recently. For over 30 years we have had a holiday home in Normandy. Quite close to the UK and we have travelled between the two countries, may be 10 times a year for all that time.

Now, with age and infirmity growing, we have sold it and we have been reminiscing about how much France has changed in the 30 plus years we have commuted between the two countries.

Anyone French who had gone to live abroad 30 years ago and came home now to retire, would find the France of their youth was no more. Everyone shops in supermarkets. There are still butchers and bakers in small towns, but only one of each - rarely at village level, all those corner bars have gone, and the restaurants that just offered one 'plat du jour' and had 4 tables. Supermarkets and some other shops are open all day. We have a weekly rubbish collection, the French are far more law abiding, fewer deals 'under the table' and less casual ignoring of health and safety laws. and this is just a sample list of changes.

It is the same for every one, leaving their home country and returning after occasional short visits before retiring 'home'.

The past is another country.

I have lived in Germany since 1976 and consider both countries my home. My children, who grew up here, are happy in any country - one lived in California for five years, but was glad to finally get back to Europe. They all spent an Erasmus semester abroad when they were at university and because they grew up speaking two languages, learning the new languages has always come easily to them.

It is nice to go back to the UK and I do feel at home there, although I have spent most of my life away. It has been wonderful being able to keep up with things for the last two decades thanks to the internet.

My son and his family moved to SA in 2015.

On a visit back to the UK, my then 9-year-old grandson told me whilst we were all sitting in the garden that he loved being back here in the UK. Intrigued, I asked him why. His answer was, that it was so comforting.

He's 16 now, and plans to return, ultimately. The youngest grandson was too young when he left to remember life here and has acclimatised to life in SA.

The opposite! I live here and have longed for abroad, specifically the town in Spain where DH and I spent 2 decades of happy winters. Now widowed, I’ve paid return visits and realise it’s where I most feel ‘at home’ plus I dislike the long cold winters here. I should have left after the Brexit vote, now that makes it too difficult and I feel too old for the stress of the upheaval anyway. However, I’m going to concentrate on the positives of my current life and not dwell on might have beens.
I’m from an army family and we moved around a lot here and abroad so I guess I’m used making myself at home anywhere.

Lots of my extended family have emigrated to Canada, New Zealand and America but gradually they have all returned to NI.

We have a strong link to Philadelphia in particular and still have family in their 80s and 90s who have stayed out there but more recent family only lasted a decade or so.

I have a friend who moved to Spain about 8 years ago and she is forever posting on FB what fantastic weather they have when she knows it’s bad weather here but when they have those torrential floods that wash cars down streets she keeps quiet! Her Mum told me she is not so happy with life in Spain as she makes out and was, for a long time, getting her own daughter to collect their prescriptions from GP here as she did not tell them she moved abroad where they have to pay a lot more.

Some interesting posts here.
My sister is now on her way home from Australia for the umpteenth time. She last came two years ago and is now in her mid-seventies.
My brother who also lives there will never travel to the UK again, but is constantly homesick. He just knows he has a better life where he is.
I have been several times and if I was rich enough would spend my summers in the UK and my winters in Australia.
It is obvious to me that what they miss about the UK has nothing to do with the food, or the bad weather, or the NHS etc but has everything to do with the people.
We have been a family split in two by this incredible planet for the whole of my adult life.
I know the next time I travel there will be because one of my siblings is seriously ill or worse, but what experiences we have been given flying backwards and forwards across the globe to enjoy a good cup of tea and a natter in each other's homes.

I’ve been here 50 years but I wouldn’t return. The UK has changed so much in that time it is now very foreign to me. I’ve changed too, of course. Can’t say I have ever been homesick though the first couple of years you have to get used to a different mentality and a different way at looking at things. I once went back to the UK for 8 weeks, about 15 years ago now. I felt so, so homesick for Australia and the sun and laid back attitudes I started to cry when the plane landed back here to the strains of ‘I still call Australia Home!’

I’ve lived abroad for 42 years, longer than I lived in the UK.

Whilst I still think fondly of my hometown and other places in the UK, nothing would induce me to move back.

I have a good life here in Malta, there are many benefits to living here including being able to see a doctor when you need one without having to jump through hoops.

I also love the weather and would not like to live anywhere cold again.

I still have two children living here plus two grandchildren, my two eldest are in the US, and I have no immediate family in the Uk since both my sisters died. So while I enjoy the occasional trip back to visit friends, I do not have any desire to go back permanently.

Yes I do - here 😂. I left ‘home’ about 50 years ago. We had every intention of returning, after my husband (now Ex) completed his surgical training. I left behind my darling Mum, who adored my children, (she practically brought them up), brothers, Aunts etc. I got pregnant with my third baby. My husband was offered partnership in a thriving Practice in the Welsh Valleys. Loved the place and the people, and made this our new home. Never regretted it. We went home regularly to see my Mum, brothers and family and they have visited us here. My children have married the ‘locals’ and all my grandchildren are British born.

I love travel to different cultures and countries, but I would never want to live anywhere other than my home in Britain. There are so many things wrong with Britain but I still think it’s the best place to live. There is a lot wrong with other countries too!

My BIL had been in Australia 35 years....although still close to his 3 siblings ( as in phones every couple of weeks) , he has all the family he needs in Australia ( wife, DC, DGC) ....he says he will never come back to the UK....he last came in 2011 when his DM died.... he's 66 now....we last saw him at Christmas....and will likely go again in a year or so...but he won't come 'home' again.

I’ve lived overseas, and missed some things about the UK. Living here, I miss things about the other places I’ve lived. I would happily go back and live in one of them now. My husband, who isn’t British born, misses various things about his birth country and the two other countries he’s lived in, but wouldn’t want to live in any of them instead.

I think many, maybe most, people who have been immigrants elsewhere for longish periods and return to their first country would agree that, rather than having two or three (or however many) homes, you end up feeling not quite at home in any of them.