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Forgetting where you left your keys does not mean you are “losing it”

(30 Posts)
RosiesMaw Mon 29-Apr-24 07:49:44

I have said for years that a lifetime of being a multi tasking woman, wife, mum, now Gran, teacher , dog owner and everything else means that there are times when my brain is simply “full” and trivial things (like whether I locked the back door or my own mobile number ) simply “drop out of the bottom” of my memory.
Now I know that I was right, according to this article in the DT this morning

FORGETTING where you put your keys or wallet does not mean you are losing your memory, scientists have claimed in a new book.
Instead, they say the brain forgets on purpose so that it can store other information.
Two academics, Dr Megan Sumeracki and Dr Althea Need Kaminske, have written a book, The Psychology of Memory, to explain why people lose household items and how we better remember names and numbers.

keepingquiet Mon 29-Apr-24 08:10:30

We all forget where we put things, it is an multiple times a day occurence for me!

Forgetting names though- that's a worry.

ginny Mon 29-Apr-24 08:15:13

I always think it’s not losing your keys that is the problem. It’s if you find them and don’t have a clue what they are for.

RunaroundSue Mon 29-Apr-24 08:18:40

I have one front door and one back door key on a chain in the cross body bag I use when I go out and a full set of keys in a key cupboard at the front of the house and another full set of keys in another key cupboard in the dining kitchen. All the keys in both key cupboards fit all the locks on the doors, garage, gates and garden hut.

Georgesgran Mon 29-Apr-24 08:25:28

This only goes to confirm what I’ve believed for years Rosie.
I think as we age and our brain takes in a lot more information than we need, it’s like a filing cabinet and memories, tasks etc are just moved around in some sort of order of importance.
Thats why (IMO) some things are easier to bring to mind than others.
Misplaced keys (I’m guilty and have been for years) is just a trivial annoyance.

Calendargirl Mon 29-Apr-24 08:39:52

Went for a five year health check recently. All well until she asked about my memory. Light heartedly I said “Fine, but I couldn’t find my glasses as I was about to come here!”. (I soon found them before I left home).

Big mistake! She honed in on that, did this happen often, did I live alone, what would my DH say if asked about my memory?

The health care lass doing this assessment was probably in her mid 20’s, if that, and no doubt doesn’t wear glasses, so has no idea what it’s like to take them off in the kitchen, go to do a job in the bedroom, then think “Now where are my glasses?”….

Next time I shall keep quiet.

lixy Mon 29-Apr-24 08:49:41

Calendargirl Specs often get 'lost' on my head - can't think who puts them there. blush

I too use a carabiner to clip my keys to the inside of my bag - but that is reliant upon remembering where I have put the bag!

Visgir1 Mon 29-Apr-24 08:54:43

My DH has been loosing Keys, sunglasses, etc since he was a kid. My Mil used to say he drove her batty with his loosing things especially his door key. No different now, he's a nightmare at times, I don't think there is any hope!
I do know you can get a tag that you attach to your items, that a phone app can trace, I did ask him does he want some, he just ignored me grin

Jane43 Mon 29-Apr-24 08:55:22

keepingquiet

We all forget where we put things, it is an multiple times a day occurence for me!

Forgetting names though- that's a worry.

I don’t forget where I have put things but I do forget names regularly, not my nearest and dearest obviously.

RosiesMaw Mon 29-Apr-24 09:42:14

ginny

I always think it’s not losing your keys that is the problem. It’s if you find them and don’t have a clue what they are for.

gringrin

Athrawes Mon 29-Apr-24 10:00:34

I'm glad I'm not alone! I forget where I put things too AND sometimes forget people's names which is more worrying.

M0nica Mon 29-Apr-24 10:04:45

Last year I twice had to do full cognitive tests and had a clean sheet on both (the higher the score the more likely you have a memory problem)

I mislay keys and glasses. I always say that my memory is like a plate. After 80 years, the plate is very full so bits placed on top, or round the edges, trying to find room, tend to roll off the plate very easily.

Visgirl DS is like that, he has ADHD. His wife does a run through with him every time he leaves the house - if she is there - telephone, car keys, phone. He has descibed how difficult he finds it, trying to keep it all together and finding he has forgotten something.

Baggs Mon 29-Apr-24 10:25:39

If there are a limited number of places you put your wallet/keys you don't need to remember.

Being ship-shape – a place for everything and everything in its place – saves a lot of memory space.

This is not a claim that I'm a ship-shape sort of person but I do try 😅.

Visgir1 Mon 29-Apr-24 10:29:34

M0nica... You could have hit on the problem? When he worked away from home I used to put a list in the kitchen so he could check off everything he has to take.
Interesting? Thanks

TerriBull Mon 29-Apr-24 10:36:47

We have a bowl in our hall for keys and I never fail to leave my car key there. House key, my wallet and often my phone are always in my small across the body bag, but glasses are another matter, I continually curse myself for not being able to find them, even though I've two pairs of reading glasses, I still manage to mislay them. I need glasses to find my glasses, or at least feel like I do, even though I'm not that short sighted yet!

M0nica Mon 29-Apr-24 10:55:22

Bags th problem is remembering to put things where they belong!

It is a system I work to, but find that at times I just put things down without any awareness I have done so.

I have still not lived down an occasion many decades ago, when, car keys in hand ready to leave the house, i saw something on the side waiting to go into the freezer, so I picked it up, went and opened the chest freezer, put it in, went back in the kitchen - and couldn't find my car keys. I searched everywhere, finally grabbed the spares and went out - very late.

Later that day someone went to the freezer and found my car keys, where I had let go of them unthinkly while putting the food in the freezer.

AreWeThereYet Mon 29-Apr-24 10:58:00

I have a habit of sticking things in coat pockets instead of putting them back in my bag. So many times I've gone out without my bank card because I stuck it in my coat pocket last time I was out but was wearing a different coat. Now when I get home the first thing I do is to rummage through my pockets and retrieve anything that should be in my bag. Then I go through my bag and take out anything that shouldn't be in there (like things I bought and forgot about) and put my keys, cards, glasses, tissues, and anything else back in it's proper pocket. I have spare glasses that stay in my bag because I was always forgetting to take them with me.

Oreo Mon 29-Apr-24 11:00:57

I agree with you OP and think the brain, as a sort of computer, stores so much data that trivial stuff like keys and glasses gets pushed out for more important stuff, like where your emergency chocolate is.😁

TerriBull Mon 29-Apr-24 11:48:54

We were in Jersey last week and on exiting the hotel, we went down to reception to settle our bill, husband then discovers his cards weren't where he thought they were, he goes through his jacket pocket and back pack. I go through my hand luggage, although ultimately not a huge problem, I have my cards to settle up. He then has to get key back from reception to go back and search room for missing cards, comes back a couple of minutes later, they were deep in his trouser pockets all alonggrin

crazyH Mon 29-Apr-24 11:58:30

I am the youngest of 9 children. Towards the end of her life, aged 93, if asked to name all her children, she would name and count on her fingers and by the time she reached No 9, she would say, I think it was a girl, and I’d be sitting right in front of her. After much hints and prompts, she would finally get my name. This was a standing joke in our family. Bringing up 9 children, 7 boys and 2 girls couldn’t have been easy. Poor, dear Mum ❤️

Baggs Mon 29-Apr-24 12:13:53

Bags th problem is remembering to put things where they belong! It is a system I work to, but find that at times I just put things down without any awareness I have done so.

MrB does that, M0n, the no awareness thing. I call it shedding. He just sheds things, like a tree shedding leaves 😁.

Baggs Mon 29-Apr-24 12:15:43

Oreo

I agree with you OP and think the brain, as a sort of computer, stores so much data that trivial stuff like keys and glasses gets pushed out for more important stuff, like where your emergency chocolate is.😁

Priorities, Oreo. Just so. 😁

HelterSkelter1 Mon 29-Apr-24 13:01:56

Yes a basket on the hall table for keys to go straight into together with small umbrella, bus pass, NT card and other membership cards. Always there nowhere else. And I agree with the emptying bags and pockets of things which shouldn't be there and putting them where they should be stored.
Glasses hmmmm they are a moveable feast. Could be on my head or on any table in the house. Sometimes they are on my head and then I try and put sunglasses on top. Actors' names sometimes take a while to remember. I Google them if they are taking a while to put me out of my misery.
I think the getting lost in a familiar place or not remembering what something is for are 2 red flags.

Norah Mon 29-Apr-24 14:43:26

Baggs

If there are a limited number of places you put your wallet/keys you don't need to remember.

Being ship-shape – a place for everything and everything in its place – saves a lot of memory space.

This is not a claim that I'm a ship-shape sort of person but I do try 😅.

I try to put things where they belong .. whilst cooking, cleaning, dressing, doing the laundry etc .. I have ADD and forgetting comes easily. If things are where they belong life is far easier.

Last week I "lost" fenugreek. Spices all 100s of jars go in one place. I've looked everywhere, finally decided Baby binned it.

I'm holding firm, that's the answer.

grandtanteJE65 Mon 29-Apr-24 15:52:28

"FORGETTING where you put your keys or wallet does not mean you are losing your memory, scientists have claimed in a new book.
Instead, they say the brain forgets on purpose so that it can store other information.
Two academics, Dr Megan Sumeracki and Dr Althea Need Kaminske, have written a book, The Psychology of Memory, to explain why people lose household items and how we better remember names and numbers."

Oh, how I love it when the scientists finally catch up and tell us what we always knew.

Forgetting where your keys, glasses etc. are is usually a consequence of either having too much on your mind, especially worries, or of trying to do too many things at once.

Nothing to worry about, unlike my BIL who (45 years ago) forgot his six month old daughter in her buggy outside the grocer's. He got home with the groceries and not until my sister said "Why is the grocer's assistant pushing our daughter's buggy up our garden path?" did he remember he had had the child with him, when he left the house.

Strange to say he stayed married to my sister for the next twelve years, until one evening he forgot who he was supposed to go to bed with, and was found by my sister with her best friend in my sister and brother-in-law's bed!

That kind of forgetfulness causes problems - forgetting where your reading glasses are is just a minor occurence in everyday life.