Scared of the motorway

I've been driving since I was 17 and am now over the 75 mark. I loathe driving now - so many boy racers about who can't wait 2 secs. I have to drive to pilates every week along a dual carriageway and keep to the left and breathe a sigh of relief when I can get on a side road. I sometimes take a country route which is quite pleasant though can be busy with - lorries!! There is no way I would drive long distance now though DH does and I sit there with my eyes shut!!!! So far so good

I prefer driving on motorways or dual carriage ways. It is quite relaxing compared with ordinary roads.

I don’t mind driving on the motorway, but really don’t like getting on and off.

I am your age and regularly drive 200 miles on the A1 ( much preferred to M1) sharing driving with my husband but would not like to do this journey driving on my own. When I have travelled this journey alone I have gone by train, much more relaxing. Have you checked a route by train?

When I first visited London and surrounding region years ago, we had a rental car and had to drive a bit (husband was on a working trip), but he knew the road system well from previous trips, so we arrived back home safe and sound.

It was my very first exposure to roundabouts… OMG… how horrid are these?? My eyeballs were completely spinning 😵‍💫. Not to mention being on the wrong side of the road 😆. I hated them! Got back to the US and wouldn’t you know a few years later, we had roundabouts being installed. Hrmph!

They claim it’s a safer form of transiting through intersections. Really? The way people drive (fast) these days, I’m not convinced. I hate them. (I already said that.)

Stick to the speed limit but don’t go so slow that you are a hazard on the road. Don’t grip the wheel so hard that your knuckles are white - once you relax, driving becomes more enjoyable. I do like to cruise around.
Be careful!

I wonder what the OP has decided to do?? Lots of good advice and different points of view....but no reply.

Go scenic route and have an overnight stay.

I'd go by train!

I feel for you. Long journeys on your own can be daunting on any roads let alone motorways. .Give yourself a whole day to travel. I would pull off the motorway and stroll around a town or village before resuming the journey and even consider an overnight stay at a farmhouse b&b. Then it feels more of a treat than a chore.

Don't be embarrassed. I gave up driving more than 30 years ago because it scared me so much. I am not in the least bit embarrassed to admit that.

I have a similar journey coming up to visit a friend, North to South on my own. I am planning to go by train to Milton Keynes and then hire a car for the last 20 miles. My friend doesn't drive any more and I need to be able to get out and about when I'm with her. This cuts out the need to travel on the M6. The last time I saw her was pre covid and the journey was horrendous. One of the reasons it's taken me so long to go back. Would this be a possible solution for you?

Write out your route using a road map. E.G. A123 to There, A321 to Here. A321 to M5000. Junction 3 to A 456 - signposted to Anywhere. Stick to your dashboard where you can see it
I find this really useful, even when I am doing the same route again.

Do you listen to the radio or music whilst driving?
It may help you relax and alleviate some of the monotony of motorway driving. The sat nav will cut in to give directions as necessary. But as others suggest do practice using sat nav with radio on familiar routes.

I’m older than you and regularly drive motorways. I’d find somewhere local you can practise joining and leaving. Don’t middle lane hog and if you miss an exit just carry on to next one, and rejoin t’other way. Don’t try to exit suddenly if you realise you’ve missed it. Tbh I prefer motorways to all those winding roads with roundabouts etc.

I have two suggestions:

1. Look in your satnav. Ours allows you to choose a route which avoids motorways.
We chose it once by mistake and really rather enjoyed the drive. But it did take longer.
2. Go by train. It is no more expensive than the car for one person with a senior rail card, and I find it mor relaxing.

Good luck

I can’t do motorways either. I can drive around any busy city, as you mostly can pull in. Motorways make me ‘claustrophobic’ as once you’ve joined, however short the mway is you’re ‘trapped’ till the next exit!

I never use motorways anymore. Either don’t go or find an alternative route. Which probably will take longer…..
Or pay for them to come on the train

I prefer motorway driving as I find it easier than navigating city roads or even worse, country lanes.

What I always think is that on a motorway everyone is going in the same direction and there are no traffic lights or junctions.

Six hours is a long long time and the most I've ever done is about four.

You need to stop often especially for the toilet so don't drink too much at stops but have water in the car. Also don't eat too many snacks, tempting though this is. In six hours one light meal should suffice. Make sure your phone is charged too.

Having a short practice run in advance will help your confidence. I did this after lock-down when I returned to work.

I recommend as early a start as possible but bear in mind any major cities as they will be busy at certain times.

Mentally tick off junctions as you go, this always helped me to focus where I was and where I was headed.

Motorways are very much safer than ordinary roads so put your music on and enjoy the ride!

The motorways can be rather claustrophobic because , once on, you can't stop until you reach the exit.
If I were you, I would make the journey in stages, taking the ordinary roads and avoiding the motorways altogether.

pay an instructor for a motorway session and then take their advice as to whether you can do it.

Your estimate of 6 hours could be very optimistic. Lots of M-ways have roadworks going on, accidents that slow you down, etc. In my book even that is too long to do in a single day though I know others will disagree. Many M-ways have Travel Lodges or similar, some very cheap if not near prime areas. You will likely be more stressed than you think and that is not good for a driver. I would suggest an overnight at about 60% of the distance from home, making a shorter day ahead.

A satnav is virtually essential. Either on your phone (which will be bang up to date) or a dedicated machine (which might not be). We have both and often resort to the mobile phone. I wouldn't bother about being able to SEE the route on-screen, but listen to the instructions carefully. As others have said, if you go wrong it will get you back on track.

Some junctions are a doddle, others need more care. Try to track the route before you go and take extra care at these - particularly where changing from one M-way to another.

As others have said, stay in the inside lane where possible.

We regularly travel from Manchester to Bristol and find the M5 has much less traffic than the M6 towards Birmingham, but actually leaving the M6 for the M5 is fine - just don't get on the M6 Toll Road as it doesn't connect with the M5.

I would also factor in a service station every 2 hours. You generally need 40 mins for parking and toilet break plus buying a sandwich, more if you sit in to eat.

Huge lorries can be disconcerting. They have a timetable to stick to so will overtake you. They then pull in front of you (in your "safe space" once they have got past you. Allow for that and ease off the speed - you'll soon speed up again.

Lots of drivers only do about 60 mph these days - the speed merchants are in the outer lane.

I don't agree that A-roads are easier. All those junctions, traffic lights, roundabouts, single lanes, parked cars, side roads where cars can whip out unexpectedly. Give me the Motorway any day.

Nor do agree with music en-route. Too distracting.

Plan it all carefully. Be prepared for occasionally getting in the wrong lane - the sat nav will sort it for you once it realises. Don't panic at all, and you will be surprised how competent you really are.

A coach will take twice as long. Airports are not always convenient. Trains possibly worth a look. Connections aren't always convenient.

Good luck.

I would no longer want to drive for six hours, including motorways. You would have to stop anyway. You could stay at a budget holiday at a service station half way through the journey and relax for the evening. Or would you just dread the next day?

Maybe go on a route which excludes motorways, but that will make the journey longer.

Arrange for the dog to go in to kennels, so that you can both go.

Only you knows exactly how nervous you are, so follow your own instincts.

Drina01

Please don’t be ashamed. I cannot/have not drive/driven on motorways for at least 20 years. Something tells my brain I cannot do it. I use minor roads to get anywhere and could write a book on alternative routes ! Why this happened I don’t know - but know of many others younger than I who have this fear. No matter what am told how safe/stay in slower lane/crash barriers etc etc there’s something about not being able to come off, when I need to once on, and speed of other traffic and keeping up. Choose an alternative route there’s always a way - don’t let it rule you.

Write the book!
I'd buy a copy

I agree with merlotgran, a satnav is invaluable. If you're not used to using one then it's probably worth doing some driving around locally beforehand to get the hang of it.
Also agree that it's a good idea to work out which motorway junctions you'll be leaving on, though the satnav can put you right even if you make a mistake.

Why don’t you have a couple of refresher driving lessons on motorway driving?