Do you ever erupt like a volcano

Should say I never lost my temper since he died . As it doesn't get you anywhere and to me it's a waste of energy. Even when I have to complain I am polite and friendly and find people are helpful and things get sorted quickly. Apart from PIP people. 🤬🤬🤬

Haven't had a blazing row with anyone since my husband died. As he was my sparing partner it was only over stupid things never important issues. He used to pick a fight for make up sex the 👿 he was. But since he died I do have a rant at him out loud by myself then I see him with that stupid grin on his face . I can imagine him saying feeling better. But the rage and anger I feel over my fit healthy husband dieing in agony unable to breath gets me through everyday of the last 20 years. I was born disabled but it never phased him even when I got worse when the children were 4 and 6 months. And they only and easiest way for us to go out was me in my wheelchair. Mind you my husband had wheelchair rage anyone cut in front of us he went for them and did hit them.
The love of my life that still is with me in my mind and heart. As an atheist I don't believe we will meet again. But he lives on in our children's and grandchildren s DNA and that comforts me.

My husband,me and our children all had tempers and where stubborn. I said the house should have been Bedlam as it's a wonder the roof stayed on at times.

Happy days 😥

I don"t get angry but if someone upsets me badly I disappear.
Eg. Years ago I was living (while house hunting) with my daughter and family doing lots of childcare, cooking the evening meal, walking the dog etc. One evening out of the blue she was extremely rude to me. Without a word I left and checked into a hotel. I received an apology by text and returned to tell her I wanted a promise that she'd never behave like that again which she duely gave somewhat red-faced. I remember rubbing it in too much with "How dare you speak to me like that" and "I would never have been so unkind to my mother" etc etc.

Ali08

I'm bipolar, so yes!
I'm pretty well controlled with pills, but occasionally it needs to get out or we implode!!

It's been said that I'm bipolar - I've had issues for 40 years but it all seems to relate to bad times when I've felt used, cast aside, abused, trodden on, disrespected, bullied at work etc and I've got worse at hiding it. I stay around too long giving the other party time to reflect & meet half way in the hope that they'll be reasonable, but they continue to do more of the same. I've learned to walk away now. Our next door neighbour has been terrorising us for 4 years - it's who she is and she won't change. She got a new bloke & set him on us - drunk & weed-filled but he kinda said the wrong thing - 4 years of pent up torture came out in a 20 minute character assassination of them both and I didn't care one bit, my language was shocking but they deserved it. I'm so nice to people by nature that they obviously think I'm a soft touch, the next thing they're talking about me/us. I think most people now are horrible, it's rare you meet anyone who is genuine.

I've never known anyone who is bipolar so have no-one to gauge with - as far as I'm aware I just feel things really deeply and suffer inwardly to the extreme.

I learned long ago that if you are going to do something, anything for someone, anyone no matter how many times you do it - you must never go into that expecting anything in return - because you may not get it reciprocated.

It’s when you start thinking they owe you now is when your head explodes.

You can control what you do and how you feel.

lixy

I don't shout or throw things but I mutter with intent - usually b*** on repeat.
I find making a cake by hand is useful too - my creamed butter and sugar is certainly light and fluffy by the time I've finished with it!

Really angry? Yes, recently when I realised I'd booked the wrong hotel at Heathrow. I went to bed really upset with myself for not checking that the Terminal 5 hotel and the Terminal 5 carpark were next to each other. OH has booked everything else for the holiday; I just had one job.....

Why isn't Terminal 5 hotel near Terminal 5 car park? It would seem logical!
I think I'd be spitting tacks too, lixy.

Do they have courtesy transport between the two?

No - I learned as a child that one of the few things I could control, in a somewhat chaotic life, was my own response to situations. I’m usually an easygoing, calm person, but I have learned to be assertive when it’s necessary.

The last time I remember being really angry was (a few years ago) with a solicitor who repeatedly turned up late to meetings with me and a client I was helping. He had an intern with him, but that didn’t stop me from asking him, somewhat icily, to explain why he thought his time was more valuable than ours and telling him that his behaviour was extremely rude and unacceptable. I don’t think he’d had a telling off like that since his nanny last chastised him.

Not really, I have in my the past but can't recall the last time, I threw a major hissy fit.
I am much more calmer now especially as I have got older but I do swear like a "Docker" quite a lot.

I get my frustration out by swearing and having a verbal rant.
I don't let it carry on that long , not worth it, less energy, it's instant then over with, I move on.

Hollysteers - absolutely. Those who do not have the explosion gene simply do not understand. The explosion is not a choice.

I very laid back and rarely lose my temper but often it’s the straw that breaks the camels back and I lose it big time . It doesn’t happen often but when I feel it coming on , I swear , big time , not just the f word but the c and w word as well . I rarely swear but I find that swearing calms me down , even the c word which I hate .

I’ve always had a short wick and prone to explosions, but growing up with a volcanic father (Italian heritage family mythology maintains) I’ve tried to control my temper, not always successfully. I regret some of my outbursts. It’s very easy for placid people to smugly opine how we should rise above it…

Of course, there is justified anger as when I saw a father with a stick shouting and threatening his small children one day. I boiled over and told him what for. Could be dangerous, yes, but like many bullies, he cowed.
I’m much calmer now at this age and have my blood pressure to think about!

I was so quiet and placid when I was young but I don't take any prisoners now. 30 odd years of trying to be pleasant to a nightmare MiL has taught me to not waste time with unpleasant people.

TRosiesMaw

As a young teacher I learned very early on that when you lose your temper, you lose control
So no, erupting “like a volcano” sounds intemperate, pointless and ultimately unimpressive in any situation.

Totally agree with this.
I tend to be of the quieter, explains how I feel and dealing with it camp.

I don’t like to hear or use the F word but did use it once years ago.
DH and I were going to a family party and I had got myself, a six year old , a 3 year old and a new baby ready. DH appeared from, I know not where and asked “!what shall I wear ?” I’ll leave you to imagine what I said.

Yes. Your feelings are valid. Go with them, get it out of your system then try and look at things logically.

I don't explode very often, the real need to worry is when I go silent, but every now and again I think it does you good to have a really good steam-let-off. Mine usually involve a lot of door slamming and loud shoutings of the F-word; I stomp quite a bit too, and crash crockery and cutlery about. Then I get over it quite quickly.

The only time it took ages to recover was when DH was fiddling about in the garage and got irritated by the noise of the freezer (I think it doesn't make any noise, but he does). So he switched it off. And didn't switch it back on again. Undiscovered until I went to the freezer for something the next day ... Ballistic doesn't come anywhere near!

I must say I find your comments worrying. You seem to be really angry and I wonder if you need to see a therapist. No-one should be on as short a fuse as you are and your threats (even though they were to a despicable low-life burglar) were very over the top.
I expect this has sent you into a rage and I am sorry but I seriously think you do need help.

I forgot to add to my first post that if you really push me too far then the witch in me comes out. It's only happened once. A friend who was very vulnerable was chased by an old friend who knew everything about her life and what she had been through. Finally she admitted that she, too, had feelings for him. He was going through a messy divorce and they lived over a hundred miles apart but he convinced her that it wouldn't be for long and they could deal with the distance. They were in a relationship for 2 years and she nurtured him through his depression caused by his divorce issues, his sudden reduction in income (he retired), and put up with all his moans and groans. Towards the end of the second year she started to feel that something was different and, boy, was she right. The rat had met someone else. The new woman had more money and owned her house. He was going to be homeless as he had to sell his and exes house as part of the divorce. Suddenly he was no longer in love with my friend but passionately in love with this other woman.

I found myself in a freezing temper. I'd warned him when they first got together that if he hurt my friend then I would get him one way or another.

So I cursed him. I sent him an email cursing him for what he had done to my friend (who whilst with him had also lost her job and was due to be homeless as her landlady was selling her house). My curse wished the worst of everything on him. I told him that the woman he was with would see him for what he was, a narcissistic, parasite with a block of ice where his heart should be, she would throw him out, and he would die alone with no friends and no home. And the email contained not a single swear word. The venom I was spitting needed no expletives.

I only really erupted at dh once, and that was one Christmas Eve when I’d gone to do some last minute shopping, and he took it into his head to water our ceiling high, real tree, which was in a large bucket of wet gravel.

And the bucket was covered with red crepe paper. And dh overwatered, so the water ran over the rim, and down the crepe paper on to the floor, and spread red stains over our new-ish, light-ish green carpet.

I was so steaming livid! Given the size and spread of the tree it was impossible to move it to try to get the stains out.

Luckily my not long widowed mother was there to calm me down a bit, and point out that nobody was dead, and in the great scheme of things……etc. etc.

I am an eldest child so was used to standing up for my siblings, and as an adult I have done quite a lot of voluntary work and for many years done hospital car. so when it comes to others I am up there standing up for them and get mad at people misusing disabled parking spaces etc but dont tend to do much on my own behalf. I used to make bread quite a lot and whenever things were infuriating bashing bread dough is great as you can use as much punching as you like thinking of whoever or whatever has driven you wild and hey presto a great homemade loaf at the end to enjoy!

I used to when younger but rarely swore. I used to get so angry & wound up that my chest hurt. It was mainly frustration from being a single parent, with a [Childrens] Father who was useless and controlling.
I swear more now but in a positive way I don't do things for folk who take the p!$$. I'm semi retired and do stuff I want to do. If anyone asks me to do something for them I usually say, let me think about it & I'll get back to you. I have an amazing OH who allows me to do what makes me happy.
Anger is generally frustration & the lack of ability to see that you CAN change things. If you can't change others change yourself.

I wouldn't say boo to a goose in my younger days.
I've got older and sharper and I do tend to explode on the odd occasion.
Don't mention menopause. I was dreadful. I could scream at somebody turning over a page of a newspaper when I was watching something on the tv.

Didn't mean the question mark at the end!!

We've been married for a long time but I find that we can reach an impasse some times when he cannot or will not back down although he knows that he is at fault, then it triggers something in me that I shout, have been known to throw things that are at hand, last time a box of dates! He said I had to pick them up and I said that I would but he would have to listen to my reasoning first. Which he duly did so all is well until next time! I love him really!!?

Daddima

biglouis
In most arguments I use very hurtful sarcasm and the looks which imply that the other person is something particularly filthy beneath my shoe. When I go nuclear I am capable of extreme verbal (and physical) violence which scares most people so much that they avoid me thereafter. I once told someone I would cut their throat and drink their blood while advancing with a freezer knife. It was a burglar and he jumped 16 feet from the balcony in fright.
Strange that nobody has commented on this, don’t you think?
This would definitely count as a volcanic explosion.

Think we’re all too scared 😂

Personally, I find cold controlled fury, carefully aimed and delivered, works far better in most situations