"No one on their death bed ever said 'I wish I'd spent more time at the office'

Agreed ...BUT you don't want to retire poor....so if you gotta work past retirement then it is what it is

Definitely not shoes and status. All in all it's very sad that so many families have to work 'in the office' with two, three jobs to pay the mortgage/rent/bills these days - and this often means longer hours in the office for large numbers of people, unfortunately. Even if the office is in the 'annexe' with rise in home working.
And the lower the pay the longer the number of hours that have to be worked to ensure a decent income at the end of the month. The Govt need to do something to close the pay ratio between the highest and lowest paid in companies. People with lower pay also need to be allowed to spend time with their families, elderly relatives, children etc rather than working for a pittance. It wasn't that long ago people could draw on retirement pension earlier and finally spend less time in the office, - but now with pension age having gone up....and up and up..... only the better off can afford to leave the office earlier.
What you say is so true - making small positive differences to others - a helping hand etc - is all most of us can hope to do. Only a few people change the world or make history
But at my deathbed I know I will think about my loved ones, and I will particularly think about the child we lost too early in his life when only in his twenties. He never had any time to follow his dreams and yet was a kind, giving person who tried so hard. Funny, clever, big hugs. The circle of life and death - but I will be very grateful for having not been living in a place of conflict and very grateful for the freedoms we had. But there are so many problems in the world - will also be sad for the kind of world that's been built in last few decades for future generations.

I think we are confusing two different issues. I am sure at the absolute end I will be thinking only of my nearest and dearest.

Less close to the end, when I lie and review all my life, I will also look back with satisfaction on my working life. From the time I left school to go to university I worked in a predominantly male world and often an engineering world and for most of the men I worked with I was their first experience of a woman in the office who was not a secretary and I enjoyed the challenge. Also while working in industry I did see significant changes come about from work I conributed to. The same applies to my other interests and voluntary activities

But at the very very end, it will be my family I look back on

Both my dads were engineers and stepdad taught me a lot about repairing cars. I wanted to be a doctor from a very young age. My mum was totally horrified as her dream job was to be a secretary like her older sister. I was pushed into being a secretary which I totally hated but the experience meant that I could start businesses and that’s where I went.

I can’t imagine that I will be regretting that I never swam with whales.
I’m hoping that I won’t be aware I’m in my death bed or in any pain so I won’t be regretting anything.
I’ll do it all beforehand. In fact I will start now so I can do something about any I may have had,
I think I will phone a few old friends today. My cousin died last week and now I am sorry I didn’t even know he had cancer.

I shall regret that I have left so much clutter for the young ones to clear up.
So will renew my efforts to declutter today.
I would really like my demise to be in a controlled well managed way. And to upset the grandchildren as little as possible. We live with them half the time and my DGS is doing A levels next year. So after that would be better when he's at uni.
Apart from that, I plan to devote my life to growing white roses. And looking after DH and Milo.
Cicero said all he needed was a garden and library.
But this was a rich powerful man with a lot of slaves to do the work.

I had a friend who was quite wealthy I was with him when he was told he had only a short time to live. I will never forget his response when the consultant left the room he said that he regretted not spending his money!

I know money and possessions will be the last thing on my mind my family come first above everything.

Well I just hope I am able to think clearly about anything when the time comes and I hope I have capacity and am enabled by law to end my life if I want to and have assistance to do so if I need it.

Redhead56

I had a friend who was quite wealthy I was with him when he was told he had only a short time to live. I will never forget his response when the consultant left the room he said that he regretted not spending his money!

I know money and possessions will be the last thing on my mind my family come first above everything.

The spending money wont be a problem, I do that. I dont want to leave my children a mess to sort out.

My soul.

I have just accepted my demise is out of my control and, as things are at present I have no idea, when, how or why.

Similarly I have accepted that there is nothing I can do to stop myself becoming, at some time, a worry for my children. I know (hope?) my death will be a time of sadness and disruption for my children and grand children. I can remember how much I and my parents were affected by my grand parent's deaths, and DH and I and my children were by our parent's death - and three deaths were after short illnesses until which our parents had been in their right minds and successfully living indpendently.

There is nothing you can do to avoid it, so you might as well get used to the idea.

Applegran

What do you think you will care about most when the time comes? I doubt it will be money, status, nice shoes, looking beautiful.......
I am fairly sure for me it will be gratitude for the love and the relationships which have mattered to me, and perhaps what I have learnt to let go of as I got older, to be simpler and freer and happier. And have I made a difference? - a positive difference? - however small. What do you think? And does it have an impact on how you want to live now?

Applegran What do you think you will care about most when the time comes? I doubt it will be money, status, nice shoes, looking beautiful.

I hope I pass quickly, my passing to be easy for my beloved husband, going on to rest with my Lord the Saviour and (if I read, understand my Bible correctly) be forever with my mum and dad.

On my deathbed the only thing I wish for is that my late husband will come for me.

I love the following saying, it always brings tears to my eyes.

When we get to the end of our lives together,
The house we owned,
The cars we drove,
The things we possessed wont matter.
All that will matter is I had you and you had me.

My husband died 10 years ago. We were together 50 years and the above saying is so very true.

LottieLouise

On my deathbed the only thing I wish for is that my late husband will come for me.

I love the following saying, it always brings tears to my eyes.

When we get to the end of our lives together,
The house we owned,
The cars we drove,
The things we possessed wont matter.
All that will matter is I had you and you had me.

My husband died 10 years ago. We were together 50 years and the above saying is so very true.

I'd hope the exact same, if my husband pre-deceases me. My only wish would be precisely the same as yours. Beautiful.

To the question: No impact on how we live now.

nice shoes and bags make me happy now and I work to afford a nice live and and retirement when it comes.

I also enjoy my work in the office, I work in a fast changing industry with a great team based all over the world that is a pleasure to deal with every day. As children are now independent I'm really enjoying the mental challenge of the pressure and demands of the job and also the travel.

I enjoy work and I wont look back and regret it.

One of the residents in a care home told me she wished she'd had more sex (but her Fred had gone off it)

I vow to have no regrets and am already spending my daughter’s inheritance! She knows!!

I will enjoy my work as long as I can everyone different. I will carry on with what I’ve always done working enjoying the simple things in life and giving gratitude every day that I’m alive

I will never be sad about the material good I haven’t got. I value my great friends and wonderful family. Wish i could have worked right up until retirement but stress stepped in and that wasn’t possible. Not as financially well off as I should have been.d

Redhead56 my sister was an occupational therapist. She went to visit an elderly man, who had been diagnosed with a terminal illness. She advised him he could get certain pieces of equipment, some available on the NHS, some not. She suggested something that would make him more comfortable, but he would need to pay for. He refused. She said, why not, he had plenty of money and no family to leave it to. He said, " I'm saving that for a rainy day", to which she retorted.." today is that rainy day!"

What about people that had horrendous upbringings and the last thing they would want when they pass is to meet up with them again.
That worries me

I won't regret not having spent enough time dusting.

Thank you for your reply Norah.

I think we would all like to know that we loved and were loved. This little poem says it all.

And did you get what
you wanted from this life, even so?
I did.
And what did you want?
To call myself beloved, to feel myself
beloved on the earth.
(Late Fragment by Raymond Carver)