Random old bloke telling me to ‘Cheer up!’ 😩

Even better than that Bluebell, around the time those comments came my way, I had a close work colleague who was German, we socialised both in and out of work. I remember at the time there was a lot of building work nearby our office in central London, masses of cat calling, couldn't pass a building site without the inevitable "allo darlin" "cheer up luv" My friend, in her own direct Teutonic way, would march up to whoever addressed and would say something along the lines "I don't know you, so vil you not speak to me ven I go by because vot you say is stupid" I might add she was the archetypal German tall and blonde and kick ass with it. Worked a treat!

BlueBelle

Bit mean in my opinion, I would have smiled at him I bet it was just his way of making contact
Why go out your way to take offence, teach him by example

I’d have done exactly the same 😁.

LottieLouise

A bus driver once told me to cheer up as it might never happen. I just said it already has happened and got off the bus. The reason for my miserable face was that I had found a breast lump and was going to see the specialist at the hospital. Luckily it was benign. People should keep their thoughts to themselves because something terrible could have happened in our lives that makes us look miserable.

LottieLouise
Absolutely.

Grandmabatty

There's a difference between speaking nicely to a stranger and telling someone to cheer up.
Lovely weather we're having
Horrible weather isn't it?
What kind of dog is that?
Do you live locally - I don't think I've seen you before
I'm sick of weeding.
Etc etc Nothing personal but opportunities to reply

I agree.
Well done, Witzend. Miserable old g*t.
Yes, it is usually men who say that to women. It's a put-down.

People used to say it to me and I'd feel embarrassed.
Now I have far more confidence and I'd probably tell him that it was seeing him that made me feel miserable.

Bang out of order, mind your own damn business you total arse!!

Well with that attitude I can see why it was said to you terribull 🤣

Oh well done Witzend I commend you. Clearly I had a resting bitch face when I was young, because I got the "cheer up love it might never happen" how friggin' original Never mind being lost in thought, never mind such people who utter these inanities know nothing about you or your life or what bad news you may have just received. Bang out of order, mind your own damn business you total arse!!.

Just yesterday I attended an award ceremony at dgs school where the speaker referenced a quote by Marcus Aurelius: “Choose not to be harmed—and you won’t feel harmed. Don’t feel harmed—and you haven’t been.”

I'm frequently told I look worried (due to my saggy face!). Including a couple of times by doctors when it wasn't unreasonable to be worried!
I think I would have replied "I'm fine thanks" when he said it. I certainly wouldn't have made a point of commenting the next day

Do younger men still do this?

I agree too welbeck. This has happened to me before, and my response has been to smile.

Me too. I’d have laughed & it would have turned into a friendly exchange.

agree with last 3 comments: BlueBelle, Delilah, pascal30.

He probably thought he was just being friendly.. I would have just said hello.. why feel the need to retaliate...

Does it really matter? You knew you weren’t miserable, he made an unthinking comment, sometimes people are a bit clumsy but mean no harm - best to shrug it off.

Bit mean in my opinion, I would have smiled at him I bet it was just his way of making contact
Why go out your way to take offence, teach him by example

A bus driver once told me to cheer up as it might never happen. I just said it already has happened and got off the bus. The reason for my miserable face was that I had found a breast lump and was going to see the specialist at the hospital. Luckily it was benign. People should keep their thoughts to themselves because something terrible could have happened in our lives that makes us look miserable.

Bit harsh. On both sides.

i know over on MN it's one of the things that enrages them.
i can see both sides.
but i wouldn't have reprimanded him.

I agree, a simple and polite 'hello' would have been enough.

Grandmabatty

I would reckon he only says it to women. I have never been told to cheer up by a woman. It is very annoying to be told to cheer up by some random man. As you say, you might have had bad news or been unwell.

Exactly - I would bet anything you like that he’d never have said it to a man!

Gwyllt

I think it was Michael Mosley in his program “Just one thing “ that said saying something to a stranger is good for both parties. Perhaps that was what he was doing During Covid walking into the village to the post box it made my day when someone new spoke to me. Got to know a lot of people.

Maybe he could just have said hello??

There's a difference between speaking nicely to a stranger and telling someone to cheer up.
Lovely weather we're having
Horrible weather isn't it?
What kind of dog is that?
Do you live locally - I don't think I've seen you before
I'm sick of weeding.
Etc etc Nothing personal but opportunities to reply

I think it was Michael Mosley in his program “Just one thing “ that said saying something to a stranger is good for both parties. Perhaps that was what he was doing During Covid walking into the village to the post box it made my day when someone new spoke to me. Got to know a lot of people.

I would reckon he only says it to women. I have never been told to cheer up by a woman. It is very annoying to be told to cheer up by some random man. As you say, you might have had bad news or been unwell.

Calendargirl

Sounds a bit harsh, don’t think I would have bothered saying anything, just given him an extra cheery smile the second day.

I dare say that would only have encouraged him to repeat it to someone else.
Personally I think people who make such remarks to complete strangers are a complete PITA. For all he knew I might have just had some very bad news - or for that matter been worried sick about dd, who is (yet again) in Ukraine for work.