Random old bloke telling me to ‘Cheer up!’ 😩

Wheniwasyourage

Oh yes indeed. I like both brazen hussy and strumpet. Think either would be enough to terrify any entitled man in a pub. Go, sisters!!

A floozie? I love that word!

I wouldn’t have said anything to be honest.

Oh yes indeed. I like both brazen hussy and strumpet. Think either would be enough to terrify any entitled man in a pub. Go, sisters!!

A strumpet?

Wheniwasyourage

Obviously it is not a good idea to go to a pub with a man who is going to need a pee. Perhaps we should insist that they go before leaving the house, as we probably did with the DC. Anyway, what sort of lady would find herself in a pub in the first place, I would like to know?

... a brazen hussy?

Obviously it is not a good idea to go to a pub with a man who is going to need a pee. Perhaps we should insist that they go before leaving the house, as we probably did with the DC. Anyway, what sort of lady would find herself in a pub in the first place, I would like to know?

Also had a 'pub' incident.

I was with my (late) ex and he'd also gone for a pee, leaving me standing at the bar.

In the meantime a man appeared by my side and started chatting me up (it's a universally acknowledged truth that a single woman in a bar must be in want of a man). He was gaining stride when my OH appeared.

He understood straight away what was happening and plonked himself next to the man and said in a very loud voice, "you draw a lot of water don't you - are you trying to row yourself in with my wife"... OH was a Thames Waterman and always spoke in these nautical terms.

The man apologised - and actually bowed - and scuttled off.

Apologies Caleo.

I was incandescent in a pub once over a different (but similar) thing.
My husband was in the loo too!
#itcouldhavebeenme

Not Spaghetti, "I hope your partner does now, Caleo!"

He was not my partner only a friend. Actually, when he returned he was completely bemused by the situation and remarked he had never met another woman who when he
left her to go for a pee would return to find her in the middle of a pub brawl.

Sukie, nobody want to be vulnerable but women and girls still suffer from male supremacy.

Doodledog

Believe me, I understand, Caleo.

Me too. 🤬

Caleo

I was sitting in a pub and my male companion had gone for a pee. A man detached himself from his friends and came over to me and said "cheer up". I guessed he was making a pass but was infuriated by the rude way he did it. I stood up and expressed my anger. When my companion returned the oaf attempted to apologised to my companion saying he did not know I had been accompanied . Neither man understood why I was so angry.

When my companion returned the oaf attempted to apologised to my companion saying he did not know I had been accompanied

He was apologising to your companion because obviously an unaccompanied woman is fair game (which is why you didn't get the apology) if she hasn't got a male escort, which he was sure your companion would understand... which presumably, he did!

It never occurs to these oafs (I like that) that a woman could possibly be in a pub to have a drink, read the paper, and not actually need or want their attention.

Neither man understood why I was so angry!!!?

I hope your partner does now, Caleo!

attempted to apologised to my companion saying he did not know I had been accompanied

Believe me, I understand, Caleo.

I was sitting in a pub and my male companion had gone for a pee. A man detached himself from his friends and came over to me and said "cheer up". I guessed he was making a pass but was infuriated by the rude way he did it. I stood up and expressed my anger. When my companion returned the oaf attempted to apologised to my companion saying he did not know I had been accompanied . Neither man understood why I was so angry.

I agree with that.
The tip of an iceberg.

Doodledog

I certainly wouldn't cheer up because someone told me to do so . Being told what to do doesn't cheer me up, and more does having my feelings dismissed as a joke/banter.

The words themselves aren't sexist, but a man telling a random woman what to do is, which is the point, really. Men can go about their business without people commenting on everything they do, and women should be able to do so too.

The words themselves aren't sexist, but a man telling a random woman what to do is, which is the point, really. Men can go about their business without people commenting on everything they do, and women should be able to do so too.

Precisely.

A little research will indicate that there are an awful lot of women who are resentful (actually, I'd like to user a stronger word but it might not be well-received) at constantly being told to "cheer up". And it is, nearly always, men who say that to random women who they've never met and who just happen to be in their vicinity.

It's not as bad as some of the things they say to women; it's not explicit sexual abuse or innuendo, but it's all from the same damned stable... men making personal remarks to a woman on her appearance - they don't know her, she's a complete stranger, but they feel they have the right to say whatever they feel like saying. It's sexism.

Everything they do?
That seems to be a bit of a stretch.

I certainly wouldn't cheer up because someone told me to do so . Being told what to do doesn't cheer me up, and more does having my feelings dismissed as a joke/banter.

The words themselves aren't sexist, but a man telling a random woman what to do is, which is the point, really. Men can go about their business without people commenting on everything they do, and women should be able to do so too.

Perhaps people are conditioned to automatically do as they're told if a male instructs them.

Being told "cheer up" doesn't mean you have to.

I haven't been conditioned. I don't feel any more sorry for an old man who may be lonely, than I would feel sorry for an old woman.

I don't regard what this man said as being sexist nor do I
consider all the other examples to be acceptable, but they are not what was said.

Doodledog

It's interesting that so much concern is being expressed for the man's feelings and possible dent to his ego, and so little to the feelings of Witzend, isn't it?

It might be conditioning.

Women are so used to men making comments - and nothing ensuing from it - they just accept it as normal.

Or men trying to be 'friendly'. Which then results in us appearing churlish if we complain about it. Or even ungrateful!

How many GNetters would attempt to be friendly with a passing man by telling him to "cheer up", I wonder?

If I was a lonely old woman and wanted to strike up a conversation, I'd use the very-handy "looks like rain again today" or "lovely day" tactic - it allows the other to either nod and walk on, or engage in an intense discussion about unreliable British weather.

Perhaps we just feel sorry for (apparent) lonely old men? To the point where women have to, as usual, accommodate their feelings at the expense of their own?

Dunno, it's a bit of a puzzle.

Good for you Witzend. And you are right to bet he would not have said it to a man .

It is very rude to ask someone , a stranger, to change the look of their face. This man possibly doesn't know he behaved as a what used to be called a male chauvinist pig.

It's reasonable to be offended by such people, as we all need to presume that strangers will be neutral if not actually friendly.

It shows that men still exert power over some women who will always believe the man to be right. Supporting men in this way perpetuates their belief that they can say whatever they like to a woman.
I have an 18 year old GD who is often assailed by men making lewd comments when she and her friends are out. Some of the men are old enough to be her GF.