A conversation in a Restaurant

I’m 57 and work in a school …I look good for my age and I’m glam…well I thought so until one of the children said your old 😂😂

In my head I believe that I'm still 25. I just wish my legs knew that. I'm 77 but a lot of my friends ae in the 30/40 age group. I enjoy my own company and can chill whenever I want but it's always nice when a friend drops by. We all need to enjoy our elder years.

I was dealing with a transaction face to face in my bank where I was constantly being referred to as 'my dear' by the young man serving me. I asked why I was being referred to in this way and told him I preferred to be addressed by my name and title - or Madam if he preferred. With my best smile of course. He was a bit taken aback but dropped the 'my dear'.

One of my meals on wheels volunteers was in his high 80 s, driving around ( like a lunatic, very fast) and all the ones he delivered to were younger than him and they loved him to bits. He was an ex minister of religion, lively as a cricket. In the end they took his license off him because he crashed into a fence, good job it was only a fence, looking back!

Talking with my 9yr old DGD, we thought I should aim to live to 137.
She was happy with that idea.
Then I said that if I did, she would then be about the age I am now.
She looked absolutely horrified!

I was on holiday in Italy with my mum who was about 85 at the the time and i was 56 which made her 29 yeats older then me the time and and someone in the hotel whete we were staying asked me where my sister was!

I'm not sure how old I feel in my head - certainly not my age. I think perhaps when I was in my 40's or 50's was a time when I decided that a career wasn't everything but to get fulfillment from my life outside work. At the same time life was more interesting but calm too. Not much change since then (now 77) - just the body aging.

Deeda - both your m.I.l. and your godmother made me smile.

My mother in law had a hysterectomy in her early 40s and instantly embraced old age. "Now I don't have to bother about all the sex stuff" (not sure how my father in law felt about that) and her wardrobe devolved into 3 or 4 crimplene dresses and a dreary black coat that made her look as if she was permanently at a funeral. Obviously no need for make up and her hair was piled into a bun on top of her head.

My godmother on the other hand had an active social life well into her 90s and, at nearly 100, was found on the floor after trying to climb on a chair on top of a table to reach a shelf. She wasn't hurt, but did admit it was time to stop climbing.

I expect there are reasons why the person was called a poor old soul.

I doubt it's because they don't wear trendy clothes or do their gardening.

Can’t ever recall being called a ‘poor old soul’. When compared to the average 82 year old I know I’m of sound body and mind….I love tending my garden….also keep an allotment going and work hard at growing my own veggies…..I’m an active member at the gym (always at spinning classes - twice weekly early morning classes - and belong to two tennis clubs and play two or three times a week with a bunch of my like minded buddies all summer long. Every year I take one adventuresome holiday abroad - alone, without my ‘home body’ husband) and navigating airports and flying alone doesn’t phase me ……..and I’ve lived nearly 20 years longer than my mother (who was a dear old soul when she died - due to ill health, inactivity and smoking,)

I'm 62 & wince when people tell me 'you look good - for your age'. Suppose I should be flattered

Maggiemaybe

Well I actually thought I was vibrant and energetic , but I must have been looking very poor old soul-ish yesterday when a young till assistant at Superdrug urged me to make sure to zip up my bag very carefully because there are pickpockets about. She'd already gently pointed out to me that the mini toiletries I'd bought for my holiday weren't very good value compared to the full size ones. And then she urged me to "take good care now" as I left the shop. I was quite touched by her obvious concern for an old dear, but I swear when I left the shop I felt at least 10 years older.

Look at it another way, you will have made her feel good!

grandtante
No need to apologise, you’re right. Some people have obviously forgotten how they viewed older adults when they were teenagers/ young adults.
Exactly the same as teenagers/ young adults view us now.

I always remember my grandma helping out the old people at her church by doing bits of shopping for them. She was 94 at the time and lived alone in her own home for another two years after that. She told me age 95 she didnt feel old at all inside her head. I am afraid I was in my twenties at the time and I thought she was insane, but now I am in my 70s I understand perfectly. In my head I am about mid 40s, maybe a bit younger!

Does it not strike you, as it does me, that a poor old soul can either have the emphasis on poor or on old, and if we leave old out entirely, anyone we describe as a poor soul has a hard life, or at least a hard time of things right now.

The expression in itself is surely a measure of the speaker's concern for the other person, not a snide comment on either their poverty or age.

Are we not all sligthly guilty of taken offence, where none is intended when we hear or read the words "old" or "elderly" irrespective of how and when they are used?

At 72 I am an old woman, by any and all accounts - I have not menstruated for 52 years, which surely is one sign of old age?

My hair is turning grey - another sign, I have a cataract forming in my left eye and I am a widow. I am also in receipt of state pension and pensions from two unions I belonged to at different points in my working life. So by anyone's standards. anywhere in the world, I am an old woman.

This does not mean I am a poor old soul, or at death's door, but it could mean either of these things.

Sorry, if I am de-railing a light-hearted thread, but I do get so tired of this self-conciousness about age.

On my home from the hairdressers yesterday, a lady waited for me to reach the pelican crossing before pressing the button to stop the traffic. I must admit that I felt grateful to her as I get exhausted on these outings (I have M.E). Gone are the days when having my hair done makes me look and feel good. That lady was disabled which probably made her more compassionate towards this 'poor old soul'

Quite some years ago I was in a theatre standing in long queue for the ladies loo. Suddenly a woman shouted out " let the wee old lady go first". I looked around for the poor old dear only to discover it was me! I should've been offended as I was only in my early 60's but I graciously accepted the invitation and had a quiet chuckle once I was behind the locked door.

"Old" isn't a dirty word.
Hopefully it's what we're all aiming for, rather than popping our clogs too soon.

Wear what we like, we'll still be the age we are - the amount of years that have passed since we were born.

Truly I believe that some people can slide into "old age" after age 40, while others maintain a youthful outlook and interest throughout life. (I think we all know of at least one bright & breezy octogenarian and one gloomy, miserable, middle-aged person!) I do appreciate that health issues can play a part in this, but I've found it isn't always the case. In my experience, some people "make a meal" of health issues, while others soldier on and keep a positive & "young" outlook. I hope I'm the latter!

I remember my grandparents looking very old when I was young, though they were probably only around 60. I'm 72 now and look a little faded but I'm assured by my grandchildren) not OLD old.

I’ve realised the older I get the ‘older’ old becomes

Well done Eirlys congratulations my cousin is 98 and still going very strong, learning Spanish online at the moment

I remember one of my nans in her early 80s talking about the old ladies in the downstairs flats and helping them!
If I use a stick I often get the offer of a seat, but the stick is not because of old age, but the result of an injury. I was once directed towards a first class carriage by the train crew in a very busy train, and I accepted gratefully, they'd put a chap in a wheelchair in there too.
We are very variable as to how we look and behave as we age. Women who have had a hard physical life and have suffered from the effects of poverty often seem to age earlier.
I noticed while watching the D Day commemorations that obviously all the veterans were very old, but some looked a lot older than others

We were chatting with our neighbours at the weekend and one referred to some people nearby as 'the old folks who live in that house'. Then she stopped and said 'Gosh, I shouldn't say that, I'm quite old myself now. We're probably almost the same age'. We're all late sixties/early 70s

I do think though that some people just come across as 'old' while others never seem to age.